Part 438: The Bad EndI got to the bad ending, but there were a bunch of new events along the way!
Instead of a baffling prophecy about a dragon-chariot, we get a baffling prophecy about twins.
If you let the carls tend to the calf, it becomes a treasure that increases the fertility of your herds. I assume that it eventually dies like Blacktail, but the game didn't go long enough to see for sure.
Repeated explorations of the Dwarf Valley only brings up the trader dwarfs over and over, and trading with them only nets you their soylent green. Judging by the leafy taste, I'm guessing this was elf.
Loricon is considerably nastier with the final Thedart event this time! Jesus dude, did you even get properly intiated into your cult?
Malia gets back at us for stopping our sacrifices, and Kentvent confirms that he's a chaos cultist. But it's fixed by a sacrifice to Chalana Arroy, so Kentvent will just have to sacrifice to Malia in secret like he always does.
I stalled but end up making a town. It gets a name much more befitting of our clan.
No, you cannot get Humakt's Bill or Splendorbreadcrumbs from the ducks. I'm curious to see if any future LPs of KODP actually decide to piss off the ducks, because they don't do a whole lot if you're friendly with them.
Believe or not, Eurmal's curses actually can be productive!
These are the results of Lhankor Mhy divinations about Attitudes and Strength, respectively. Attitudes isn't that useful since you can see those on the map, but Strength could have been handy to see what clan was actually weak enough for us to stomp on back when we didn't just steamroll everything.
This is an event where a poet pisses off one of your weaponthanes. I was surprised to see that having your clan chief step in the poet's place was actually the right choice. Also, look at those goddamned animals in the art. Whoever drew the art for this game clearly loved drawing That Fucking Duck/Pig/Chicken/Cat.
And of course, with the main LP ended, the elves actually decide to do something! This is a recurring event that replaces some of your farmland with forest each time it happens, and pisses off the carls(of course). It also gives Enerin a chance to be smug. (sadly, Loricon's elf fixation doesn't pop up here. I guess the game thought it'd be too ridiculous if more than one elf-hater spoke up here?)
It seems like I'm forever warning you of elven evil, but only now do you see that we must fight them, always.
Sadly, the elves are hard to catch.
When I was about to sacrifice for Horsefriend just to see how many horses I could get by the end of this, I noticed that mysteries were still left. Yes, it turns out that we're such bad Elmal worshippers that we never bothered to get the secrets to his quest!
The fire-eyes centaur event happens again, but this time it seems the thrall is innocent?
Hahaha, of course not! At least you have a second chance to catch the secret murderer.
(trying to kill them again)
It's probably a good thing we didn't get this event during the main LP, because it just won't go away! Well, it probably would if we were nice to the elves, but that would make our ancestors mad. It happens once more after this, and I make the carls grumble even more by giving up and having them cut down the saplings every day.
Penterest is just too bland to inspire people to forget their troubles.
Shortly after I fuck up the "make peace with the Telmori" event, the Queen decides to start the marriage contests without us. How rude.
We get the same vampire event we did a long time ago, but this time Oranda, Hunter of Men(and Vampires), catches it. What you can't see here is that it injured all of our weaponthanes!
The game also throws the "your men are idiots who are fucking elf-ladies" event at us, but there's an option only available to historical elf-haters such as ourselves - performing the dance of the Battle of Red Leaves.
This dance prevents our men from dying to viney chestbursters later, so it's a rousing success.
And with little fanfare, the game makes the Tarshites into the rulers of Dragon Pass in the year 1376. I thought the game went longer, but maybe it goes into "you lose" mode if you fuck up the endgame chain of events at a late enough date. I'm pretty sure this also means that the exact date of the timeout ending is somewhat flexible for clans like ours that got into the endgame sequence of events late.
With nothing left to lose, I do something that's never been done in one of these LPs before - I attack the ducks.
And yes, there's special art for it. Also note that we got no cows from this, since the game is consistant in the ducks owning no cattle. Much more curious is the fact that both sides appeared to be fighting with nerf weapons and bitchslaps.
I'm pretty sure we would have had over 200 horses if the game had gone on for another decade like I thought it would.
And then we lost.
It is now time for Ovartien Twinson to marry the Feathered Horse Queen and become King of Dragon Pass. Even though your tribe was never in the running for this honor, your people have been invited to the wedding. The ceremony is a long way away from you, though. From a distance, you see the Inhuman King, Lord High Dragonewt. He has come to officiate at the wedding, although you're not sure why. He gives his blessings to Ovartien Twinson. You are too far away to make out what he is saying. The mood of your people is mixed. On one hand, they are excited to be part of this new phase in the history of Dragon Pass. On the other, they are disappointed that the chronicles of this momentous occassion will mention our clan briefly, if at all. Still, they remind themselves that the deeds of this clan are already legendary, and in their own way outshine Ovartien Twinson's achievement. "Although we did not win the hand of the Feathered Horse Queen," Tarkala said, "at least we maintained large herds, and that is important." "We can console ourselves with our success in trade," Koreng says. "Ovartien Twinson may be King of Dragon Pass, but you can bet he will soon be courting our generosity." "We may not rule Dragon Pass, but at least we are well-esteemed by our neighbors," Penterest said.
Yes, our clan is actually the Sore Loser Clan. My favorite quote from our nobles is Penterest's, because it's just so him.
And then you get the save/quit dialog with no fanfare. No sights of what's ahead for the pass, no pleased Orlanth and Ernalda, no nothing.
That's it for this LP! If I'm missing any loreposts in the OP that you think should be up there, link them now. Otherwise, in a day or two I'm going to see about getting this archived, loreposts and all.