Part 3: Making Up for Lost Time

Hello everyone, and welcome back to King's Quest V. You know, normally this screen isn't lingered on this much. We could technically spend our silver coin right now, but I've had quite enough of that shop theme for a while. So we'll hold onto it for now. This will also let me show off a line of optional dialogue later on and do some more complaining.

The reason I started here again was to let Cedric continue to play tour guide for as long as he's able.

: See the road there? Back to the east is the town. Yoooou'll find a run-down inn if you follow the road to the west.

Anyway, we're going to follow the path behind the bakehouse.

north



man

: Upon a fallen log sits a dashing young prince who looks very sad and confused.

bird

: What a wonderful bluebird. It could almost make Graham happy again if it wasn't for his family.

That's kind of needlessly over-dramatic. I know Graham is looking for his family, but nothing so far has given the impression he was depressed over the whole thing. I read Graham as full of resolve and determination.

cedric

: Let's say 'helloooo' to the young prince, Graham. He looks like he could uuuuse a good cheering up.

Part of me wants to disagree with Cedric on basic principle of the matter, but we might be able to help this young prince regardless. I guess it wouldn't hurt just to talk to him...

prince

: Graham squeezes his eyes shut and addresses the young man.

No, really.



: Uh... excuse me, young man. Sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice you sitting there on that log. I was wondering if there was anything wrong.
: Why, yes... as a matter of fact, there is. I've been searching everywhere for my fiancee. She's a beautiful princess with long golden tresses, fetching blue eyes, and smooth, creamy skin. Have you seen her anywhere about?
: No, sorry. I haven't seen anyone like that.
: That's what I figured. No one has seen her. I think that old witch who lives in the Dark Forest had something to do with her disappearance.
: I'll keep an eye out for her. If I see her I'll let her know you're looking for her.
: I would appreciate that. Well, I guess I'd better get back to looking for her. I'm not ever going to find her just sitting around here. Thanks for your concern.

cedric

: If you walk to the south you'll run into the town bakehouse.
: Graham massages his forehead as he responds.
: Thanks, Cedric. That's real helpful. Do you perhaps know of somewhere we haven't been yet?
: Ooooh, well there's nothing but a dark, scary forest to the north.
: Sounds great. Let's go.
: But...
: Bye Cedric!

north



King's Quest V - Dark Forest

Looks inviting.

cedric

: Cedric perches nervously on a tree limb at the edge of a gloomy forest.
: In a pleading voice, he makes a suggestion to Graham.
: Back to the east is Crispin's house...

Well what the hell, let's go in.

forest

: Ooooh, no! Ooooh I'M not going in there! Can't you read the sign?
: Come on, Cedric. There might be something important in here.
: Goooo if you want to. I'll wait HERE!



The game gives us some points on entering. If you were playing for the first time, this might be a hint that you were on the right track. Nope.



This is the witch that lives in the Dark Forest, because of course there is one. If you walk in here before you're supposed to, she'll kill you, with no way to prevent it. The ball of magic turns you into a frog.

I'd show a gif of the process, but the foreground hides Graham, sadly.



: That old witch caught Graham toad-ally off guard.

That was worth it just for the pun.



Well, the sign WAS right. Guess I can't fault it for telling the truth. Let's just continue to explore.

west



King's Quest V - The Weeping Willow

I mentioned in previous updates that for the most part the soundtrack was amazing. I also had two examples of really bad tracks from it. How about, then, what is probably the best one?

tree

: A graceful weeping willow tree grows beside a small pond created from... her tears? In her branch-like arms she clutches a beautiful harp as a child would a cherished toy.

tree

: Uh, Miss... Willow?
: Yes?
: You can talk?
: Why, of COURSE I can! What did you expect?
: Well, I've never seen a talking tree before. What's wrong?
: Everything's wrong! Can't you tell? I'm not really a tree... I'm really a princess. You see, my fiancé and I were walking through this wood when a nasty old witch came along and was instantly charmed by my handsome prince. When he naturally refused her advances, she jealously banished him to a faraway land and turned me into a tree. Then she stole my heart!
: Stole your heart?
: Yes. She turned my heart to gold and took it away with her. The only way I can become human again is to have my heart brought back. Now all I have to cheer me up is my harp. It's quite magical, you know. It plays the sweetest music you've ever heard. Now please! Leave me alone in my sorrow.

tree

: Please, don't bother me anymore. Let me weep in peace.

pond

: *chokes and coughs*
: What's wrong Graham?
: That's salt water, blech!

cedric

: Ohhh what a sad song she plays. Let's try to cheer her up, Graham.
: How will I find this heart of mine
: Taken from me for some time
: Here I stand in my pool of tears
: Here I'll stay throughout the years

This is obviously the princess we were just told about. What's kind of frustrating is if you approach this encounter the other way around, you can't tell Herbert, the prince, about this willow princess.

Well, nothing we can do here for a while yet. So let's just move on.

south



King's Quest V - the Gnomes

young gnome

: Sitting on a stool in front of his house, a young gnome happily plays with an exquisite marionette.

older gnome

: An old grandfather gnome sits contentedly on an old stump and smokes a large pipe. He watches his grandson at play. The old gnome seems to be trying to ignore Graham.

Let's make friends.

older gnome

: Excuse me, sir...
: What're YOU doin' here? Don't you know this is private property?
: Oh! I'm terribly sorry to bother you. I was just noticing your son's marionette. It's very interesting. Where did you get it?
: It's grandson, not son... and I made it fer him. Why d'ya care?
: I just wanted to comment on its artistry. It's very well done. I don't suppose it could be bought?
: If it could, the price would be very steep; I reckon you couldn't afford it. Now... leave me and my grandson be!

Rude.

south



We're back here at the inn. We're slowly winding our way across Serenia.

cedric

: Ohhhh there's nothing to the west but endless desert.

Sounds like a good time. Let's see what we can find in the inn.

door

: Ohhhh I'll wait for you out here. I don't like that place.



King's Quest V - The Inn

: You know dat job we pulled yesterday? Where's da rest of da loot... huh? I t'ink one o' you guys is holdin' out on me!
: Gentlemen, please excuse me. I didn't mean to interrupt your...



: Da inn's full. Ain't got no more rooms.
: Hey, boss! Dis guy looks like a real troublemaker! Whaddya want me ta do wid 'im?
: Rub 'im out!

Fat, black greasy hair, ugly goatee, talks like an asshole, runs a shitty hotel... I think I used to work for this guy.



Yep, definitely my old boss.



Like the forest before it, the inn is another death trap for a while yet. This one is infamous for a reason we'll get to eventually. So just sit tight and I'll cover it then.

: Struggle as he might, Graham cannot escape his bonds.



: Don't worry Graham, the innkeeper will soon put you out of your misery.



Right. So let's pretend we didn't and instead head back over to the bee tree.

west



: Ooooh watch out for the bear, Graham!

bear

: The bear is too intent on the honey to listen to Graham.
: Larva.
: What?
Grubs. The bear is after the bee's larvae, not the honey.
: Nobody likes a pedant, Graham.
: Why do my narrators keep saying that to me?

Let's see if we can squeeze past him.



bearpunch.gif is right up there with dramaticburgerbite.gif.



: Tisk tisk. Graham should know better than to feed the bears.

This bear doesn't appear until we pick up the decaying fish from town. Also, he seems to be hungry, so...

: Whew! This smelly old fish is disgusting!
: It is but a common silver coin.

bear



: I am Queen Beatrice, kind sir. I wish to thank you ever so much for saving our hive from the claws of that horrible bear. In return, I offer you a luscious honeycomb from our hive. Please feel free to retrieve one. I promise my bees won't harm you. It may come in handy on your travels.

After 3 full games away from them, I had started missing the puns. Now that they're back, I kinda wish they would go away again. You might say I have a love-hate relationship with them.

tree

: Graham reaches a hand into the beehive and retrieves a very sticky chunk of honeycomb. Wrapping it in a protective piece of cloth, he then pockets it.

While we're here...

stick

: Graham bends down and picks up the large stick from the ground.

We'll need this in about 10 seconds.

: Honey drips at the edges of the honeycomb chunk.
: It appears to be an average stick of wood.

We're now done on this screen for the rest of the game. We'll pass through again, but the bear puzzle was it.

north



King's Quest V - March of the Ants

: A bully of a dog terrorizes the poor ants as he playfully digs up their large anthill.
: Ooooh Graham! That dog looks mean! I don't like dogs!

This dog doesn't exist until you pick up the stick at the beehive. Unlike with the bees, there's no way to die on this screen.

dog

: The dog doesn't seem to be a friendly sort at all.

I said it last time, but it bears repeating. Fuck this game. You can't pet any of the dogs at all. The dog in the inn was "Just out of Graham's reach." They're good dogs, Roberta!



Trying to antagonize the dog only results in you getting growled at. So there's nothing entertaining you can even do here. So let's just skip to...

dog

: *whistles* Here, boy!



: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm King Antony the Great. May I ask who you are?

FUCK.

: Why certainly. I'm King Graham of Daventry and this is my friend, Cedric. We're seeking a way to cross the Great Mountains to the ocean on the other side.
: That is a very perilous undertaking. I wish you would reconsider. But if you shall not, in return for rescuing our home from that flea-bitten cur I wish to offer you our help if perchance you may ever need it.
: Thank you very much, King Antony. Cedric and I appreciate your kind offer. We look forward to meeting you again.



: Ooooh is that a new dance, Graham? The BUGaloooo!

These puns. God dammit. Let's just leave.

north



This is the last screen in Serenia. There's more to the west, but it's a special case that we'll cover another time.

: Ooooh keep your eye on the gypsies, Graham. I don't trust 'em.

Good to know. Cedric doesn't trust impoverished nomads who aren't bothering anyone, and are also camping peacefully on the edge of one of the world's infinite deserts. Best keep an eye on these people who aren't doing jack or shit. Asshole.

ox

: The ox's mouth is too full of grass to even attempt a conversation with Graham!

man

: Within the gypsy encampment, Graham notices a tall, burly man who keeps a suspicious eye on him and Cedric.

man

: The sullen man doesn't look like the conversational sort.

near wagon

: It vill cost you vone gold coin to see Madame Mushka.

Well, we can't afford that right now. Our chest of infinite money is somewhere far to the east. Also after the inflation problem brought about by Graham's predecessor, I don't think Daventry coins are worth much of anything anyway.

Anyway, that's about all we can do in Serenia for the time being. So I'm going to call the update there.

NEXT TIME: Cedric is too afraid to go somewhere. What a shocker.

List of Points

+2 - Walked into the Dark Forest
-2 - Except not really
+4 - Saved bees
+2 - Got some honey
+2 - Retrieved stick
+4 - Played fetch

Register of Deaths

16/260

Toadally unprepared
Meeting the Innkeeper
Feeding the bears