Part 8: Telos: Pimps, Strippers, and Murderers
Last time, we hijacked a droid to break into a computer mainframe for us. Unfortunately the droid ran amok and did some bad, bad things. How were we suppose to know?
"Good. You are free to go."
Tiny bit of trivia, Atton was originally suppose to be saying Moza's lines. His line was, "What? You're just going to set it free? Is that a good idea?", then, "Because it can lie. No one expects a droid to lie. Think of the trouble it could cause!"
We get it Atton , you don't like droids.
"I and all my herd thank you. With these files in hand, the Telosian authorities are certain to expel Czerka from Telos and Citadel Station. Our work can begin again."
"I have heard that the ship you arrived on is missing, hidden somewhere on Telos. I know one who could help you find it, and a means by which you could travel to him."
"Bao-Dur? Where is he?"
One thing I like about the writing is that it acknowledges stuff the Exile knows, but the player doesn't. There's a distinction there. For example, the Exile remembers Bao-Dur from the Mandalorian Wars, so instead of saying something like, "Who's Bao-Dur?", you can pick a response that more accurately reflects the Exile as a character.
The Nameless One had amnesia; Revan had amnesia; the Exile doesn't, and is much harder to write for as a result.
Thanks. These guys aren't so bad after all.
So now we have a few Light Side points under our belt. If you talk to Atton, he immediately notices.
She's like, standing right THERE. Have some tact.
Czerka has made their move and are now attacking the Ithorians.
So should we help them?
I guess... eventually we can. But c'mon, Ithorians are tough, right? Surely they can hold them off for a while.
Like, for a couple of days maybe?
Yeah. Fuck it, let's go swoop racing first.
This swoop track is really hard for some reason. I'm just thinking ahead in the game, and with the exception of the Handmaiden fight, this here might be the most difficult part I can remember.
Or maybe I'm just really bad at swoop racing.
If you played KOTOR 1, you'll remember all the swoop tracks were easy as sin. Except for Manaan, but that's only because it lagged so bad. But this is a lot harder. 41:27 is a tough time to beat; you pretty much can't screw up at all.
Okay, some quick primers on swoop racing. You race in a straight line, you have to shift gears after hitting the max speed, and there's turbo boosters and obstacles all over the map.
New for KOTOR II: they added land mines to the course, which will mess your swoop right up; there's also these steam vents that knock you around. And you now have the ability to jump, which you'll need because sometimes the entire course is blocked off.
There's no point screenshotting this racing crap, so I just FRAPSed a video.
TOTALLY slammed right into a mine 4 feet from the finish line. Take a look at the finish time...
41:26! We won the race by 1 millisecond!!!
...I don't want to say how many times that took me before I got a semi-clean run off.
Okay, I know some people were talking about gaining influence with Kreia and others, I'll show an example of it.
Observe this simple footlocker with its simple loot.
Someone finally notices that we've been running around jacking everybody's stuff.
"Just looking around. I just figured..."
A medpac and 100 odd credits is all you own?
"I'm not going to take that from you."
"What? You are crazy!"
It's okay guys, we're just trying to show off some gameplay features. This dude's a necessary sacrifice. We're not enjoying this at all.
Okay, so we instantly lose influence with Kreia.
And here's the slightly weird part; we instantly gain influence with Atton. We've broken even at this point. The last thing you have to do is tell Kreia how much you worship her every word.
"I am not speaking to you, fool. Be silent!"
"What would you have done?"
"I would examine the situation as a whole, all of its ties to the Force, and then decided which string to pull, not sever them all at once. Such crude methods grant you nothing."
And now we're even on Kreia, but we've gained extra influence with Atton.
Unfortunately the Dark Side points have set us back a bit. We want to be at least halfway to Light Side before we leave Telos.
Time to do a good deed and find someone to help. No matter how annoying they are.
This guy fits the bill.
Long story short, computer nerd is dating a hot stripper. Computer nerd has gambling problem, dooms hot girlfriend to lifetime of slavery. Your typical sob story.
Here's the guy who owns the stripper.
"I am Doton Het, an entrepreneurial businessman here on Citadel Station. I deal in odds and ends, stuff that Czerka and the Dobo brothers have no interest in."
"I've come on behalf of Harra."
"That one? Ah, it must be about Ramana, then. Fine, give me your proposal."
"How much do you want for her?"
This is starting to sound unsavoury.
"But if that is the only way, I would accept no less than 2,000 credits for her."
We don't have that kind of money...
"How about you wager her on a game of pazaak?"
Pazaak is the official card of the old Republic, apparently. It's kind of a cross between Blackjack, Uno, and I don't know, Pokemon? You start with a sidedeck of 10 cards...
Oh jeez our sidedeck sucks. Need to buy a few decent cards.
So you start with the sidedeck of 10 cards, and from there you randomly get 4 of them to play with.
You take turns getting cards dealt to you, and you can add your own cards to the pile. To win, get the closest to 20 without going over. Best of 5 games win.
Standing on a 19 is usually a pretty safe bet.
Oh bullshit. Total bullshit.
Round 3, we go waaay over.
You use to have to go first every round, and the person to go first usually busts first too. The big improvement Obsidian made to Pazaak in KOTOR 2 is to alternate each round who goes first. It's still a disadvantage, because you have to go first in round #1, but it's way better than it was before.
Tied 2-2, it all comes down to the last round.
Stand on a 17? Ugh. We'll take one more.
Woot! We win a stripper.
What we really need is a Let's Play Pazaak thread.
If you were Dark Side, you keep her dancing and pimp her out. You'd come back occasionally and collect your cut from her. I don't remember how much exactly, but it's in the neighbourhood of thousands of credits.
Amusing as Pimp Jesus would have been, we're suppose to be earning back karma for robbing and murdering that guy.
You don't deserve her.
"You're free now, Ramana, you can go with Harra."
"I have no desire to go with him. He means nothing to me."
"Then you can do whatever you wish."
Whatever, just leave and stop annoying us.
Take this sort of shit over to the Crescendo thread, please.
That's all we needed. Just a little Light Side.
So after hanging out at the bar for the last few days, racing swoops and playing cards, Jesus finally gets around to helping the Ithorians. Last we checked they were under siege by mercenaries and it was an huge emergency.
Looks like they're still holding out fine. See? No harm, no foul.
With Force Deflection, we can just block their blasters with our hands.
All you need is love...
The main lobby is packed with enemies. There must be 8 or so mercenaries in here; thankfully we have some meatshields to take the brunt of it.
Did I say meatshields? I meant Ithorians.
We first break into the backroom grow op to rescue Moza:
Stop monologuing and just shoot him!
Why hello there. Are those twins?
Whirlwind and Horror pretty much incapacitate them for the entire fight.
Goodbye, you crazy froggies.
There's not a whole lot of cut content in Peragus and Telos, because it was the first two worlds of the game and they actually had time to work on them. But one thing that was suppose to happen was the Czerka takeover of Citadel Station.
Remember how B-4D4 got the incriminating evidence against Jana Lorso and the Czerka Corp, and the Ithorians gave it to the Telosian Council? Lorso would have decided as a last ditch attempt to try and oust the Telosian Council. I imagine there would have been some sort of fighting in the main hallways, ending in the surrender of Lorso at her office. Not totally sure on that. But here's the PA announcement:
"Attention, Citadel Station. This is Jana Lorso, your Czerka branch's Executive Officer."
"As you may know, Republic negotiations with Onderon have deteriorated of late. Czerka entered Citadel Station in the hopes of resolving the situation for the good of Telos. I regret to inform you that the Telosian government, with the aid of the Ithorians, has entered an anti-Republic treaty with Onderon.
"In order to protect the Republic's investment in Citadel Station and for the betterment of Telos, Czerka has been forced to assume command of the station. Until Republic forces arrive to formally depose the Telosian council and restore order, Citadel Station will remain under Czerka control."
"This should not affect your daily affairs. Please go about your business as usual. Thank you for your cooperation."
I'm kinda glad it got cut, because Telos already drags on a bit too long.
Hey, who's that over there?
"What do you mean, 'What am I looking at?'"
"Bwoop bweep. Bwoo!"
It's our old buddy B-4D4!
"What are you doing here?"
"My companion and I are awaiting a ship. Nar Shaddaa, I believe. It was the easiest destination for us to book passage to."
"What, you're going to stow away?"
Oh. Hmm. Maybe it's not such a good idea to let these two run around loose.
"I'm going to take you in for a memory wipe. You shouldn't be wandering freely."
"But surely you will not. After all, I am in this predicament because of your actions. I am afraid I cannot accompany you. I could not abandon my companion here."
"Yes, I know."
"He's coming, too."
"I am so terribly sorry. I am afraid that he might resist."
Better leave these two alone.
Time to jet.
If you remember, Telos was Carth Onasi's homeworld before it got bombed to oblivion by the Sith.
Of course, how could anyone forgot. "I can't trust you! I can't trust anybody! But I'll whine incessantly to anyone who'll listen! My homeworld got bombed! Waaaah..."
"I'll tell you more when I arrive, but the Republic has decided not to detain the exile, and adopt a wait-and-see approach."
We actually hadn't left the station during the last cutscene, despite what they said. But we're leaving now.
Ah, the bright sunny surface of Telos.
There's always something that has to ruin our day.
Da da dum...