Part 24: Episode XXIV: Hearthstone

Episode XXIV: Hearthstone



OK. We now have an actual objective in our adventure: destroy Elaine’s body. I’m sure it’ll be as simple a matter as merely stuffing a pillow over its face until it stops moving and perhaps giving it a proper burial. We’ll be done in no time!



Speaking of time, the fated hour of the next item unlock is upon us. Well... upon the LP. I had to wait another fifteen minutes. Thankfully the depletion of the bulk of our key items has freed up enough inventory that I only had to discard a couple obsolete weapons to make it to 43 items for the unlock.





This time around we get prolific Welsh serial killer Ogden Hartman’s murder weapon of choice – Ogden’s Axe. This is a non-elemental version of the standard ass axe but with its stats significantly altered. The normal Axe grants +12 Strength, +4 Vitality, -1 Dex and -2 Agility. Ogden’s Axe grants a whopping +40 Strength. Though with significant cost in the form of -10 Vitality, Intelligence, Piety, Mind and Luck. Since Edward already has Vitality to spare and will only be getting more and the rest are dump stats for him, he might get some use out of that axe in the future.

That aside, Ogden’s Axe is the penultimate unlock as far as this LP is concerned. The next unlock is at 11:11:11 which isn’t far off. The final unlock, however, is not until 22:22:22. There’s like three hours left in this game. I’m not waiting an extra eight hours just to legitimately gain a weapon with different stats and a changed name. Even I have my limits on completionist junk.





Back on task, now that the Scapegoat has been slain and the holy water font restored, the path upstairs further into the mansion has now been unlocked. So let’s get to explorin’!



Hmm... Did Roger light this fireplace or did a passing ghoul feel the need to warm up before entering the random battle queue? Some mysteries aren’t meant to be solved. With that said, we can solve a mystery to a puzzle we’ve yet to even find by turning Koudelka’s attention to the bookcase in the center of the room. The one with the five volume set of books the size of a small child.



Above the dragon, it reads “Hestia”. If you remember correctly, that means “Hearth” in Greek.



Good to know Koudelka has studied up on Greek and Latin. Now if you were to wager a guess that we need to interact with the fireplace directly to the left of this hint... you’d be dead wrong. It’s just a normal ass fireplace. You imbecile. You fucking moron!





Naturally we need to go find another hearth in an adjoining room. Welcome to Patrick’s laboratory. We’ve got a few items of interest scattered about where Mr. Heyworth started his 1890s predecessor to Umbrella Incorporated. For instance, on the shelf to the left is...



An empty bottle that just so happens to be completely 100% acid-proof. All acids ever made could be stored into this glass bottle safely. Stick a hole in a Xenomorph and let that acidic super blood rest safely in this container. I’m sure we’ll find a reason to need to transport acid sometime. Who hasn’t had a need for acid at one time or another?



Also of note here is a scale which we can use to weigh Koudelka. 45kg or around 99 lbs. Sheesh, lady. Did you escape from Chrono Cross or something? We need to hook you up with a burger or two once we’re out of the haunted hellscape of Wales. But for now, we’ll just keep Koudelka’s skinny ass weight in mind.


Music: Waterfall



Also hanging out in the laboratory is this special boy and his delightful walk cycle -- the Puppet. He’s some sort of vegetable... skeleton... thingie with a snake for a scarf. I’m not quite sure what his deal is but I like his moxie.





Puppets don’t actually have any proper damaging attacks. They instead can buff their allies’ Strength and Intelligence or do the same draining our party’s stats for the battle. Yeah... pal. I don’t think -10 Strength is going to put too much of a damper on Koudelka’s fighting ability.



Barring bosses, I’m fairly certain the Puppet is the last new random battle enemy we’ll be encountering in our time with Nemeton Monastery. Here on out (and really for a decent clip off-camera) it’s just been palette swap and stat bumped variations of past enemies. If nothing, at least we ended on a high note.



The enemies in this stretch of game were also nice enough to drop a couple of new weapons along the way. Such as a pickaxe in case Koudelka wants to give up the wandering ghost busting psychic routine and become a tomb raider. Warning, the profession is wrought with murder as I understand it and it takes a couple goes for the tomb raider moniker to stick.



We’ve also picked up a C Knife if anyone needs a good and proper stabbing. I kind of miss the days when character limits resulted in bastardized approximations of words or bizarre initials to begin names. It’s all so sterile and formal these days.



Moving to the back of the laboratory... Well, wouldn’t you know it? It’s another hearth. And this one isn’t on fire. We’ll take a peek in there in just a sec. Right now the paper on the table seems a touch more interesting. A closer look reveals this is Patrick’s Memo. Which reads..



Oh good. In addition to being a mass murderer and amoral and heretical science boy, Patrick was also really anal about keeping up with his weight. 70 kilograms is around 155 lbs. Pat seemed like a husky boy in his unused character model. But he’s well under the average weight for a guy in his 50s unless he was actually some manner of Hobbit. Anyway, we’ll just keep that 70 kilograms in mind as well.

Now then, about that hearth...



You remember the word “Hestia” written on the scroll. Perhaps you should investigate the fireplace.

Yes... perhaps we should lift the giant obvious hatch with a handle and everything that is in the fireplace.



Note: Koudelka will not do this unless she has specifically found that hint written on the cover of books in the previous room. How could she know without such inside information!? Down the hatch we go...



Not much going on in the secret room beneath the fireplace. Trying to exit through the door down here reveals it is locked “using a trick mechanism of some sort.” Koudelka can determine this at just a glance, but pulling a hatch open in a fireplace is a bridge too far in her deductive reasoning skills.

But there is also a scale next to the door. Hmm... Let’s step on it and see what happens.



By adjusting the counterweight, you can change the balance of the scale. “70kg” was written on “Patrick’s Memo.” Maybe you should adjust the counterweight to that weight.



A headscratcher of a puzzle presents itself. Patrick has a very odd security system in place. Was he just locked out of this door if he ever went over 70kg? I suppose that’s one way to stay slim when doing nothing but butchering kidnap victims all day for dark incantations. Anyway, we need to reach 70kg. Koudelka is only 45kg. Can you do puzzle out this first grade level math problem? Go on. I’ll give you a moment.

...

......



A Gold Star if you picked 25kg! Congrats! The door is now unlocked. For your next problem, please tell me which weighs more. A kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers.



Heading on out, we found out a man who didn’t get it and died trying to figure it out. The corpse slumped over on the ground can and should be pillaged for a piñata of goodies within its soiled trousers. For instance we have...



The world’s most uncomfortable to wield looking matchbox ever constructed. The thing looks like it was carved from the chitin of a deep one whose name cannot be spoken in a human tongue. Not sure why we’ll need a tinderbox in the near future. But that hasn’t stopped Koudelka from shoving far stranger things in her pockets. I mean she’s still carrying around a mummified human arm for no particular reason.



The stiff is also carrying the final shotgun, Shotgun 6: Jason Lives. Like the Rifle RD and the Automatic Pistol, this is just straight up the best Shotgun in the game both in strength and the fact it can hold six shots over the previous models’ two. Shotgun 6 is also the very last Gun class weapon we’ll come across in Koudelka. At this point we could technically just have a team of ruffians all sporting firearms to smoke every ghoul and ghost hey come across. Sadly, that’s the least efficient party loadout in this game by a long shot.

The dead body also has a box of shotgun shells if we pillage his remains a third time. What a helpful dead man.



Returning to business, beyond the thoroughly looted cadaver we have a haphazardly constructed bridge leading further into the monastery. Unfortunately, the party decides they will not go further until they figure out a way to properly dispose of Elaine’s body. No actual barrier or anything. They’ve just decided they should probably do some research or seek some advice before continuing forward.







And by “seeking advice” I mean we need to backtrack several rooms to Roger Bacon’s hidden library and ask him what’s up with Elaine’s body.



Hmm... I know it's here. I-I saw it here. I put it here!
I threw it here. It LANDED here! It should be here! “Here” is starting to no longer sound like a word here...
<notices the party walking over> W-What...?



Have you come round to see me again?
<hands Patrick’s Research Notes to Roger> I want you to look at this.
Research journals!
I want you to tell us whether what's written there can actually happen or not.
<takes book and squats down to take a look> Well... Let me see...



Hmm... Yes, yes, I see... Well that's right! Resurrecting the dead! Oooh... A cauldron! Ehh... The Branwen Tales, indeeeeeed!
Yeesh. 43 pigs? That’s too much ham. No wonder the stench of this place. And all of those chickens too? I’d go mad from eating that much... Terrible diet. Just terrible...
<wanders on-screen like he got lost on the way over here>



<slams book shut> Yes. It is most likely that the events detailed here did take place.
Just as I thought. But that’s so frightening that—
Personally I have not attempted it.
Honestly, everyone I know who is dead... heh... is better off staying that way...
I am certain that the Émigré Document contained accounts of secret rituals conducted to resurrect the dead. But as you can tell from reading THIS, it involves complicated preparatory work.
That is... one way to put it...
I took one look at that hassle and went “no thank you!” Immortality was only about an hour of prep and no messy kidnappings or butchery of human specimens. Much more manageable at my age.
...Yeah.
I have given up discerning the impossibility of using the psychic powers necessary to create such an immense psychic platform. Moreover, I would never have expected that people would attempt to challenge such a feat.
You never thought anyone would try to resurrect someone?
I can scarcely stand one or two malevolent spirits fluttering about. Flooding an entire site with them? The fortitude to bother with that nonsense is quite the tall ask. Especially the part about sticking your... appendages into holy water fonts...
Come again...?
Let’s try to focus here.
The journals say that the physical body was resurrected but not the soul.



Absolutely. The Ancients held the secret to life in the palm of their hands. Hehe. But they could never come close to touching... the secrets of the soul.
The say such forbidden soul arts were lost to a deep, colorless fog long ago...
They resurrected the dead in order to use their physical bodies as a workforce. Thus building the great civilization we oft times speak of. In fact, heh we would not be far off if we called them... puppeteers. Hehe. Exploiting the HUMAN BODY as an object!



If so, then wouldn’t—
Yes! Resurrecting the dead and restoring them to life as it was before death... is impossible...
There was a very clear and underlined post script under the incantation saying such was impossible. Ugh... Nobody ever reads the post-scripts...
Then how do you return the resurrected body once again to earth?
That... is a very complicated question, since it already defies universal logic.
Please—
It is no easy TASK!
Tell me how! It’s what Elaine, God rest her soul, wanted!
......
...Right. Hm.



It is not... *absolutely* impossible. Uhh... But... I would need to call forth the sacred powers in order to complete such a feat. Hm...
......
Ohh... Yes... I know that... the arm of Daniel Scotius, the man who built this monastery, is... stored in a stone statue on the ground.
Oh yeah... We already have that...
Y-You what...?
A thief tried to kill us by shooting down a chandelier and out popped the arm from the rubble.
I... But... Heh... Why would you take such a thing with you without any prompting...?
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I see... Heh... And people call me the abnormal one... Hmph...
So what about the arm?
If... if we... throw that... into a cauldron... we will... successfully destroy the ROOTS of the Tree of Life!
There was a Tree of Life involved?
Of course there was! What a foolish question. Hmm... How else would you go about constructing a body?
My mistake.
Hmm. After that I haven't a CLUE whether to call forth the energies of fire... or entrust the task to water... It is sooooo complicated!
<ponders> Fire... or water...?
What are we going to do?



<starts talking to self and walking away> Oh... Heavenly Father! Bless our souls and bring forth an end to THIS suffering... Ohh... Ahh... Ohh... Hmm...



And with that Roger Bacon departs. OK. So we either need to set Elaine’s body on fire or drown it, huh? Well, at least we’ve ruled out bashing it over the head with a rock or... leaving it out on a chilly night? I’m not sure how you’d do wind weakness in a practical setting.





That aside, with this (incredibly vague) knowledge in hand we can now proceed further into Nemeton Monastery...



Into the Vestry of the church. Tune in next time as the gang search for Elaine’s body, fights an otherworldly being and James’ college minor in chemistry finally pays off as Koudelka's Disc 3 draws to a close!






Video: Episode 24 Highlight Reel (It’s pretty much the last of Roger Bacon hamming it up. You should watch it.)





Koudelka Comic Art – Cat ally. Cool lady.