Part 22: Hair Today...

Chapter 21: Hair Today...

Welcome back, children. Today I think I'll begin the next chapter of our little tale.
Yay! Lujei loves this part!
Oh! Um, I just remembered, I have important things to do back at the castle. I'd love to stay, but I can't. I'll have to, um, catch up later.
THURSDAY ALSO HAS UNSPECIFIED IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO.
Hey, wait for me!
Jerks.
Those meanies hurt poor Lujei's feelings. But Lujei's not sad, because Lujei overflowed all the toilets back at the castle before Lujei left.
Wow. That's actually pretty cool.
Whew! I almost went with them.
Who'd have thought staying with the crazy ghost would be the best option?
Must you guys always interrupt me like this?
It's like we're oddly compelled to engage in this banter.
That's because it's the author's idiom.
Huh?
Lujei broke the fourth wally-wall! Bad Lujei!
Dammit! I've had it. If you want to talk so bad, why don't YOU tell the story this time Lujei?
Yay! Lujei gets to do story time!

This next section starts out in that silly-willy evil church with the bad guy, okay?

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If we don't do something soon...
Relax. Our Church of the Divine Mother owns the public. People follow us like lambs.
The Church of the Holy Maiden and the Queen are powerless against us.
I assure you, there is no need to change our plans.
But!!
Have no fear. The summoning of the fallen angel Calamity will proceed as planned.
Dark Utopia comes as soon as we locate the Dark Prince.
We just have to wait patiently for our chance...



Silly willy evil man wants to summon a god. But why? Lujei can't remember if she remembers! Lujei is sad.





Darn!! I overslept!
Hey, where's Culotte?



This is the third day in a row you've been late, Prier.
It wasn't my fault! My stupid alarm clock isn't working right!
I always just sleep right through it.
Moving right along... Today I need you to go to Meuniere Forest.
About five days ago strange... things began appearing in the area.
...Things?
Yes, it isn't clear if they are monsters or demons.
Either way, we can't just ignore them. Go check it out.
Understood.
Things, eh? I wonder just what they are...
There have been entirely too many cases like this recently.
It could be that the dark energies are getting stronger.
If we're not careful, this could mean the return of the Dark Prince...



Hey, she's a fallen angel, just like Flonney-wonney!
W-wha---!?
Aaaahahahahaha! I don't know, Lujei's starting to grow on me.
Aw, our little Prince is growing up.
W-wha---!?
Yeah, it wasn't too long ago that you'd have been crying in the corner just looking at Miss Lujei.
Yeah, well, um, so how about that story huh?
Chicken.
So after the kiddie widdie talked about the Dark Prince...



But the Church of the Divine Mother does seem to be getting more active.
Keep your wits about you.
Don't worry so much!!
When I become the Maiden of Light, I'll take care of them all single-handed!
You're not exactly putting my mind at ease, Prier...

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They went to the forest, but there were funny things running all about like little funny bunnies!



Sister Alouette, are these some kind of monster?
No. They radiate intense spiritual energy, but I sense no life force in them.
They seem to be artificially created spirits...
So they're like demons, then?
Why didn't you say so? We can handle them!
Yeah, let's take care of 'em!

The fur monsters are funny because they fur people!





Heh...
What? Is something funny?
Just your face.
What?!
Just kidding.
Guess I was just happy.
I mean, I never thought I could find a woman I'd trust to watch my back.
That's a strange compliment to give a girl.
Maybe, but you're a strange kind of girl...
You mean I'm not girlie-girl enough for you? Tough. Get used to it.
That's enough, you two! We don't have time for that now!



We've got to hurry up and figure out where these things are coming from!
So, what should we do? Maybe go back to town first?
Either that, or keep going. We may be able to find the answer somewhere in the forest.
Prier... You're the leader. It's up to you.
Keep going, or go back... Which should I choose?

Lujei knows the answer! Lujei says you should go back!

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(Who does this lady think she is? Giving us orders like that!)
Do you have some business in the forest?
I want to go visit my boyfriend Barsom.
That's too bad. You may not be able to see him.
Seeing him today isn't that important.
He was totally bald until recently, but then he grew a full head of hair.
With hair, he's pretty handsome, so I figured it would be OK to go out with him.
But I don't really mind not being able to see him.
What's that supposed to mean? You choose your boyfriends just on their looks?
Yea, pretty much. What's the big deal!?
I mean, cute beats, like, ugly any day. What, you like ugly? Whatever.
Why you...
When did his hair start to grow?
You know, pretty recently. Maybe five days ago?



There's something fishy going on here...
I think we should pay this Barsom a visit...

Baldy lived out in the woodsies...

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I have my special hair tonic: Super Grozapine Z!!
Let's see, first I apply the tonic to my head, like so...
Next comes the scalp massage. I've got to close my eyes so I don't get any tonic in them...
And finally, I say the magic words...
Divine Mother, give me hair! Divine Mother, give me hair! Divine Mother, give me hair!



So this is the cause of all the trouble...?
Looks like it.
You've gotta be kidding...
So you got the tonic from a man who said he was from the Church of the Divine Mother?
Yes, that's right. What about it?
Haven't you noticed any furry little things prancing around here lately?
No, why?
They probably won't attack their creator. They wouldn't be able to reproduce without him.
Look, whatever you do, just don't use that tonic anymore!



There is no way that I'd even think about not using it.
I think we may have a problem...
I guess we'll just have to force him to stop using it.
Just a minute. Can't you sympathize with the poor guy?
As a fellow man, I'm against forcing him.
Me too!
If it were me, I'd probably do the same thing...
Exactly.
Right?
Oh, all right... We'll just have to find some other solution.

Okay, that's good Lujei.
But Lujei was going to tell them what happens next in the legendary tale of baldie and shallow bitch!
Next time, next time.
This story is so weird.
At least we never had to fight hair monsters.
There was that zombie with the horse wiener, though, that was pretty messed up.
Fair point.