The Let's Play Archive

Legend of Wulin Heroes

by Nyaa

Part 107: Chapter One Hundred and Eight: Sleeps Interruptions

After obtained the ultimate language book: English as She Is Spoke. I am on my way to master the art of hong kong dub-fu.

Although new scene will still be dubbed properly.

Part One Hundred and Eight: Sleeps Interruptions

This game is brought to you by SoftWorld International Entertainment; we will trap you in a game world for our amusement.

“Oh finally! I can go into this place! But why do I have to climb a mountain!?”

“Paahh… chuff… huff… puff… wheeze…!”

“There better be something here!”

Today is a good day!

Wow! Nice weather makes my leg a strolling day!

Stop right there. Where you going, my irresistible tiny student?

To the outside for weather, heaven would want me to get high today.

You. Stop. You going to?

Master, weather is good for getting high outside, but I would get low if I don’t go out.

You two are making me pissing off…!

Run, bro!

The bird flies up to the sun to become fried chicken. The cloud is vertical today.

We are so close to getting pissed all over.

Yeah, great reflexes bro.

Ah! Help!

Danger inside someone, I am arriving!

“Sir, are you the one needed help? No? En garde!”

Good lookin' out you two.

No need to be corny, it was my bro who saved you; I am too lazy slow to help.

You are rad too, thanks for saving anyway. May I know your name so I can be chillin’ at your crib-house and give my proper thanks later?

You are too fab, helping right the wrong, so we won’t ask for reward or we would be wrong from being right…

We’ve from Lazy Valley, he’s Moon, and I am Jeez!

BRO! Not cool!

So you are superman moon and knight Jeez, sorry my eye is too low to see it.

You are too corny, my name is worthless. What’s your name?

I am Cao Hua, baller student of Hussla’ Sect.

So you are Miss Cho, sorry I can’t fly as good as you.

We are straight, yo. I am busy so I will thank you at your apartment later Fashizzle, bye.

Walk carefully.


There’s a nice walk, back to sleep.

Great, there’s only one NPC. He better be important.

Young man, you have finally arrived. Old me has been waiting for a long time.

You know about my arrival, this game really is well planned.

Game? Life is indeed a game, isn’t it? Although I don’t know if this is a well planned game or not, but someone seems to know you will come.

Someone knew I will come? Who? Who knew I will come?

Thirty years ago, there appeared a young man of strange behavior and phrasing, yes, just like you. He said that he came from another world; it’s called “future” or something like that.

Where is he, tell me, I want to meet him.

He’s long gone; you probably won’t be able to find him.

What? He’s already dead? Is over, is over, I can’t leave this cursed place.

Don’t distress, he didn’t really died, but disappeared midair. According to him, he has returned.

Return? How did he return?

That would be a long story!

Moon woke Jeez up again.

Bro, master voice us to cluster at great hall.

Alright, I am coming.

The bird done getting its tan, so it flies back to earth. The cloud is reverse vertical.

I’m sure you all know there is an event on top of Mount Hua at the end of the month.

I know master; it’s the Teenager Hero Tournament.

I thought about it for half a day and I decided to let Thorn to participate. Little Thorn, you shall immediately depart for Mountain Hua as the representative of Lazy Valley to participate in the Teenager Hero Tournament.

Don’t worry, master. I won’t let Lazy Valley down.

Great, now back to the hundred year old plot.

At the beginning, this young man’s kung fu is pretty average, but through some luck or destiny, he mastered this ultimate Kung Fu. He continuously defeated all the martial artist of Wulin, becoming the undefeated legend of Wulin.

Not only does he have amazing Kung Fu, this person has a hobby for calligraphy. During these times, he travels the lands, written down all he sees, to finally complete this fourteen chapter masterpiece.

Fourteen chapter masterpiece?

This fourteen chapter masterpiece is hidden at some secret place after he left, protected by every Wulin Mengzhu ever since. But not too long after his leave, some ambitious people gathers up and stolen these books because everyone believe that these fourteen books is actually manuscript of his ultimate kung fu.

After a long battle of taking and stealing, dawn and dusk of killings, these fourteen books have gone missing. All that left is a couplet the young man left to everyone regarding these books.

Which two couplet?


Shooting a white deer, snow flutters around the skies;
Smiling, [one] writes about the divine chivalrous one, leaning against bluish lovebirds (or lover)

Note: It was discovered that the first characters of the first 14 titles can be joined together to form a couplet with 7 characters on each line. Jin Yong stated that he has never intended to have the couplet and it’s just to serves primarily as a handy mnemonic for his fans.

JosephWongKS’s note: The 14 novels of Jin Yong represented in the couple are as follows:

“飞” represents飞狐外传 (Legends of Flying Fox – Published in 1960)
“雪” represents 雪山飞狐 (Flying Fox on Snowy Mountain – Published in 1959)
“连” represents连城诀(A Deadly Secret - Published in 1963)
“天” represents 天龙八部(Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils – Published in 1963)
“射”represents射雕英雄传(Legend of the Condor Heroes – Published in 1957年)
“白” represents 白马啸西风(Swordswoman Riding West on a White Horse – Published in 1961)
“鹿” represents 鹿鼎记 (Duke of Mount Deer – Published in 1969, and was Jin Yong’s last novel)
“笑” represents 笑傲江湖 (Laughing Proud Wanderer - Published in 1967)
“书”represents 书剑恩仇录 (The Book and the Sword – Published in 1955, and was Jing Yong’s first novel)
“神”represents神雕侠侣 (Return of the Condor Heroes – Published in 1959, and is the sequel to Legend of the Condor Heroes)
“侠”represents侠客行 (Ode to Gallantry - Published in 1965)
“倚” represents倚天屠龙记 (Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber – Published in 1961, and was the sequel to Return of the Condor Heroes)
“碧” represents碧血剑(Sword of Blood and Valour – Published in 1956)
“鸳” represents 鸳鸯刀(Blade-Dance of the Two Lovers – Published in 1961)

Ah. Dammit, what is it now?

Third school brother, second school brother has returned, and he’s with master at the great hall now, let’s go.


The bird needs more tanning, so it flies to the sun again.

Not bad, not bad, my time is not wasted on you.



You two are just in time, remember to learn more from little Thorn, understand? He won us one for Carefree Valley at the Teenager Hero Tournament.

Congratulation, second school brother.


(Sigh! It could have been me getting congratulated)

…Sigh, back to sleep.

All these revelations and you still haven’t told me how to go home.

Honestly, I don’t know, but what I do know is that the location where he leaves is at the Saint Hall that used to keep the books. Maybe you will have some clues over there.

Where is this ‘Saint Hall’ located?

Only the Wulin Mengzhu would know.

Wulin Mengzhu?

Yes, every year there would be a Wulin Gathering at Mount Hua, which is commonly known as the ‘Sword Debate on Mount Hua’. Everyone at the gathering will use their martial arts to get the seat of Wulin Mengzhu.

But not everyone can participate, and only someone with great fame can be invited.

Then how do you know I would come?

It was him that told me. On the night before he left, he came here and told me he would head for Saint Hall the next day to leave this world and someday there might be someone like him that will come, and I must do all I can to assist this person.

This is the reason I know the place he departed and the place of your arrival.

Oh jeez, what is it now!?

Haha! Happy New Year! Happy New Year!

Morning master, you are early today!

Yeah! I am so high since Thorn won the Teenager Hero Tournament just like a True Lazy Mountaineer student.

So who were the participants?

Just the same old self-important orthodox folks like Vacant Truth of Shaolin Temple, High Win of Kunlun, Lady Cho of Mount Hua…

(She’s also there!?)

……Swordsman Just of Wudang, Simon West of Absolute Saber, and Swordsmith Valley Manor’s Any north. Speaking of that joke of a man, Swordsman Just, one of my Great Hawk Angry Wing teachnique easily blown him away, hahaha!

Little Thorn. A man needs to be well-worn, and don’t bully people too much.


Alright, it’s New Year, so don’t just talk about Kung Fu, let me play a tune for everyone to enjoy.

Amazing play, master!

It’s like I can only heard this from heaven!

(This kid is bootlicking too much!) …

Hurr hurr hurr…this is this year’s pocket money, if you do more good, then I won’t be stingy either.

Obtain 3150 Silvers

Sigh, it’s already spring, it’s time to nap.

Why do you want to help me?

All I have is wisdom, so I can only tell you what I know. But you would need to exchange it with a ‘Wisdom Fruit’ to proof your exploit.

Note: Just an item you can find to exchange for tips on where an event on the world map is, so I will skip these.

Nothing is free!

That’s correct, Mr. Jin left you one thing on the chest over there that would be a great help for your journey.

Did you say that his name is Jin?

What Jin, did I say that? I have said what I need to said, hope your journey be joyful. Remember to bring me some Wisdom Fruit next time.

Note: If you haven’t figure it out by now, that person is the author Jin Yong.

Mother of Christ, stop waking me up every 100 hours or so!


You are in time. Come hail Painter Qing and Scholar.

Hail, nice to meet you again. I heard Jiangnan’s beauty you two speak, there is fun ?

Of course there is, want to come?

Master, can I go?

Jeez decided that getting out of Lazy Valley to sleep somewhere is the only way to stop getting distracted.

Alright, since you seem to be working lazy hard lately, you can go with them. Don’t play too much and cause problems, you heard?

Yes, master.

The bird flies back to earth since the sun is fully vacated by fried chickens.

Music: The Anthem

Awww yeahhh. Hangzhou! Look at all these lazy un-resized beauties! Marvelous!


Okay, okay, I will do this properly, but my budget is tight!

Awww yeahhh. Hangzhou! Look at all these 3D beauties! Marvelous!

Wahh… so hungry… want meat bun… wah… I miss the smell of my buns.

Jeez is too lazy to give a damn.

I want to buy color textile for wife, but I don’t like color!

Hey kid, you look smart, so text with me?

Why I want?

I’ll give you my precious if you guess my text, kid!

1) Alright, I try.

How to pronounce [Dictionary]?

1) kandopngrnpkmcv0ngiankv.

Wonderful! You know words! Here my precious, take care.

Hmmmmm, Hey kid, Hmmmmmm, want to get lucky? Hmmmmmm?!!!

1) Sure, I have bad luck lately.

Hmmm, HMMMMMMMM, your luck is good. HMMMMMM!!!!

Your luck increased, too lazy to check how much.

Your future HMMMMMM will depends HMMMMMM on YOU! HMMMM!!!!

Walking pass the local brothel, Jeez got shoved into getting a life.

Welcome, Welcome, inside you come, we look the best with best service!

Ah? No… no, I…

Don’t be shy! Get some mojo!

Yeah! Healthy men must visit this place, Hehehehehehehehehehehe!

Who’s the best girl here!

That would be our Little Fragrance. But you have to pass tests to meet her.

Cool! Jeez boy, go give it a bang.

No, I want to sleep master would piss at me…

He will be happy you are not wuss anymore! Go display your glory.


Please come inside. Second floor with a room; there will be a guide, hohoho…


Sleep or sleep with woman. Tough choice.

Hurry and don’t pull out until you see her!

… kay…

(Well, we never passed the test last time, but at least we retained all of our knowledge so at least this would be a cake walk.)

(I rather see more of the dream of Little Shrimp, even though it’s a bit weird.)

(So do I, but getting a little workout won’t be too bad)

Follow my behind.

Take test, ace test.

Now let’s see what this is all about.

… (Oh she smells good!)

My name is Little Fragrance; may I inquire as to your name?

Oh god, she’s so… real.

Her beauty is out of this world!

…finally the universe has righted the wrong!


… sir?

Ah! I… am Jeez.

So you are mister Jeez. I am a lowly woman, so thank for the trouble of meeting me.

It’s nothing.

I learn to play guitar, chess, writing stuff, and paint at baby age, so I wish to find someone with this hobby too. Today must be STRONG luck.

It’s nothing.

This must be fate, so I will play groovy song as my gift.

I shall listen.

Sorry if I suck.

Music: A New Dynasty

So…so beautiful…like I am dead and heard goddess rapping.

Thank you, sir.

Lady Fragrance….*Super secret whisper*…

…mister Jeez, I’m afraid that I have to ask you to leave.


I need to meet someone more important, so I can’t play with you any longer.

Can me meet again?

If you really have to, then come to tower thing at the lake at noon tomorrow.

Yes, yes, I am coming!

I will wait you there. Autumn Moon.

Yes, milady?

Send him out.

Please come with me sir.

See… see you tomorrow at lake…

Must rush to sleep so tomorrow come sooner!


Huhuhu, you her face met was I heard.


What you two do?


Haha, your face is red, so she must be hot Jezz!

Yes. Hehe.

Cool! Next time I show you more miss pageant around the world…

Mister Scholar is still horny and passionate as ever! However, Master Flawless would piss at you for dirtying his student.

Ah, true. Hahaha…

Then let us tour through the rest of the city!

No. We are going to bed.

Where is the local motel! This city is like a maze!

Oh yeah, Rater Ye would know. He knows everything.

Rater Ye! Rater Ye! Where is the local motel!

Let’s see, your current kung fu ranking is……Rank 301.
I didn’t ask for that!

In the end, Jeez found it all the way at the end side of the city blocked by a bunch of stands. Now no one would in the way of his sleep…

… Crap. Forgot about these guys.

Hohoho, look at this brilliant little hairpin!

Indeed, such exquisite quality…

(Eh? These four grown men playing on a golden hairpin? So suspicious…) Hey! What so special to have four grown men playing a women hairpin!

Wh-what so strange about it! I can’t be happy about it?

Not that you can’t, but you all would looks like a bunch of perverts or…

Or… or what?

Four thieves!

You rotten kid! How dare you to offend us by calling us petit thief!? Do you know who we are? Inform him!

Listen well, young one! We are heavenly breaking Sky Thunder, the Heavenly Gentleman! Knocker of five ladies, yearner of six relations, Sun and Moon Sir Spearman Long! Shapeless hand, vanishing leg, the fastest boxer in the realm, Race Boxer! And arrives without shadow, leave without a trace, fast as sound, Speedy! We are the Four Gentlemen of the Five Virtues!

… I am Lazy Valley, Jeez.

Ah? My fellow compatriot, this young pup is looking down on us! I suggest we give him a proper education.

Without noticing, Jeez was knocked out cold.

Alright, checking the mirror shows my fictional morality to be 100. Some characters only join you if your alignment is compatible to theirs.

Searching the cabinet get the important item that old man talk about, it seems to be a compass that show the coordinate of me and the closing boat. Human (388, 325), Boat (109, 100).

From now on the world is all open up for us to pursuit.

… Ah! … my head hurts!!

Boy, don’t act tough and play hero, making someone to bring you here for healing is troublesome.

[Sigh] I lack skill, damn!!

Going back to the motel and it seems those four are gone. That means…

It’s noon, it’s time to sleep.

Gentlemanly Advice of the Day

Delicately play with your golden pin!