The Let's Play Archive

Legend of Wulin Heroes

by Nyaa

Part 28: Chapter Twenty-Eight: Drunken Justice Episode II & III

Double sized update to make up for last week's absence.

Part Twenty-Eight: Drunken Justice Episode II & III
Music: Blacksmith

This sounded like Miss Chi Li’s voice, I wonder what happened?

Don’t touch me you pervert!

Pervert? You are the one who said that we can do whatever we want if you lose. Now you lost and refuse to fulfill your promise, so who’s the shameless one?

You cheated! You always slows down your moves!

What slow down? Its called “ladies” first and I reveal my move after you, so there’s no cheating involved.

1) New soul for King Yama! Help her.
2) None of my business.

Drunken Justice begins!

Hmph! Foul hooligan!

Who said that!?

Your granddaddy: me!

You rotten kid, you dare to insult me! I will show you!

We now witness our first 2 vs 1 battle, and since they are the weakest goons in the game with 1-2 move speed, Jesus already moves in for the first kill.

Our Jesus holds back on using the drunken fist because he might kill them in one hit, so he uses the Carefree Palm on them like a pair practice dummies…and slaps them silly.

The goon tries to retaliate, but our Carefree Roaming Step activated and Jesus Ninja dodged the attack, stepped back where he was, and ran around him in circles just to piss the goon off.

Oh, he just can’t wait to do that to Saberman Shang, again.

Finally, Jesus serves the final slices of Justices!

All your battle stats increased.

Damn! You will pay for this!

Thanks for the help, Jesus.

Lady Chi, why are you alone on the stage? Where’s your father?

Dad didn’t feel too well, so it's just me on the stage today. Who would have thought I would encounter such filths…

I see, but I must take my leave for there are more ladies to save! . Give my best wishes to your father.

Hmm, you take care too.

Your reputation with Chi Li increased.
Your reputation increased, it is now 84
Your morals increased, it is now 68.

Drunken Justice continues to protect the city of Gotham Luoyang.

Jesus senses another individual in need of saving within the city!

…someone’s stomach in need of saving.

What! Such tragedy! But why you still reading a book?

Confucius said: “Three days of no study will feel like having a hateful face with flavorless speech.” So, this little beggar here will keep studying even if I do starve to death!

My apologies, I only have a few scraps of food with me, please make do with these!

Thanks pal!

Phew~~it has been a long time since I had such a feast! May I know your name?

I am Jesus of the Carefree Valley.

Ah, so you are Jesus, and you live in Carefree Valley, then I, Grievous Yao, will have a stable supplier.

1) Lecture Yao’s greed
2) Tell Yao to come often

Jesus is more than willing to feed the poor and especially to provide food to those who study hard.

If you are willing to come, food will not be a problem, it’s just that my cooking is still lacking, so please pardon me if the food tastes bad.

Thanks Jesus buddy, I have some business to attend to, I will be sure to pay a visit next time, good bye.

Take care.

Your morals increased, it is now 70.

Well, let's try saving a damsel in distress this time...

Please be a chick, please be a chick, please be.

Eh!! Something happening over there…

Damn monk! Stop bothering us!

Awww…why game? Why did you send me a monk? Is that lecture for me?

I don’t give a damn about your amita-buddha-veggie-tofu, if you don’t move aside; I will turn you into a ghost!

Almsgivers, please return the material wealth to this man, and I will move aside.

Looks like you need to feel some pain!

1) Solve the injustice!
2) None of my business.

Such indecency in broad daylight; is there no respect for law within your eyes!?

Haha, law, what’s that? Something that can fill my belly? Where does this kid come from, speaking all this garbage like you don’t care about your life.

Hmph, I am Jesus, third student of the Carefree Valley. If you don’t leave at once, don’t blame me for what will going to happens next.

Ohh……so you are that newbie, Jesus the third student of carefree valley. Then let’s see how good your Carefree Valley kung fu is!

Welcome to the 3 vs 2 battle of goons vs monk and Drunken Justice.

The monk has a speed of two blocks and 3x3x3 attack range with decent damage and defense. Don’t mess with Shaolin monks.

After dispatching two of the goon, Jesus just sit close by soaking up damage to gain some limited battle experience and kung fu knowledge from witnessing new kung fu.

All your battle stats increased.

Hmph! You dare to go against the members of Black Wind Fortress! You just watch! We won’t let you off this easily!

….Black Wind Fortress….??

Oh, I am sure you can handle it, it's just a fortress.

Amitabha, thanks for your assistance.

Just solving another case of injustice, don’t worry about it.

Amitabha, dusk is approaching, you should be careful on your way home, try not to get caught up in another robbery.

Thank you young master! Thank you hero!


I am known as Vacant Truth, student of Shaolin Monastery. May I inquire your name?

I am Jesus, student of the Carefree Valley.

So it is almsgiver Jesus. Your heart of kindness and justice will be blessed by Buddha.

I am blessed by GOD. Nah, you are the more likely candidate!

Almsgiver Jesus is too courteous. Please pardon my sudden departure as I have fulfilled my mission given by my master, and I must return to the monastery as soon as possible.

Take care. I should go home too.

Your reputation increased, it is now 87

Next day, Jesus continues his duty of Justice!

What’s with all these schooluncle going rogue?

Pff! If I wanted to go back, I wouldn’t have gone in the first place. Today I will overlook this out of compassion towards a junior; you better get the hell out of my sight and never let me see you again!

I am ordered to bring you back to Shaolin. If you disobey master’s order, I will have to use force.

Hmph! So you want to do it the hard way! Very well, I will see if you are strong enough to capture me!

Yo! What a small world this is!

It’s you, rotten kid!

Almsgiver Jesus!

Don’t worry, with me around, he can’t hurt you.

Pff! Shut up! Eat my fist!

This battle is mostly designed for player to have their revenge against the fat baldy that beat them in the forest event with the help of the monk. You still can lose if you didn’t train up.

Clicking on the kung fu menu will let us select kung fu that match the equipment we can change. A purple bar appear in the blue chi bar show how much each of the selected kung fu attack cost, if we can't pay the chi for the kung fu, the damage will be like 1/10.

Testing our newly learned drunken fist reveal that Jesus is strong enough to take away ¼ of his health whilst not being drunk. Not much to show for these four short turns.

All your battle stats increased.

Haha! Loser is a loser!


Thank you for your assistance.

Hohoho, it’s nothing.

I must immediately return schooluncle to Shaolin Monastery, good bye.

Guess I will go home too.

The day of our promised duel with the lip-guy.

Oh! Today is the day I promised to duel with the lip guy that bullied Lady Ruta, should I go?

1) Of course, I would never break a promise!
2) Nah, not gonna bother. Let the mosquitoes have him.

Although the second option is tempting, the bird wants to see more impending doom!

Eh? Where is he? Is he not coming for the duel he proposed?

Yo! Who would have thought. You did come for your own funeral.

…Lip-Guy #2.

What!? You got a helper!? You broke your promise!?

I said I would have a duel with you, but when did I ever said anything about one versus one?

Hahaha, another fool being tricked!


Hahaha, let me fulfill my promise and send you to king Yama!

The bird sees it; one of Jesus’ best friends arrives.

So you also have a helper, then you two can die together.

Drunken Beast Team Vs Lip-Guy Team

Tracey uses a whip weapon which has the range of 4x4x4, so she is the queen of dominating the field with first strike.

Another attack that isn’t a kung fu. I bet his hand is hurting from hitting Jesus bronze body.

Kung Fu Knowledge: You really need that fine ass to move those fine whip.
Battle Experience: The whip must have felt good.

It's just a shame she is a low damage dealer, but the hit and run can add up.

After playing around with lip-guy #1 and finally kicking his ass, Jesus notices Tracey is cornered! Oh no! What horrible things will lip-guy #2 do to her?

The bird and Jesus watched some unmentionable horrible S/M queen thing happening to lip-guy #2.

All your battle stats increased. Also learned some unmentionable things.

Damn it! You will pay for this!

Phew~~thanks for the help, otherwise lip-guy #2 might not be in this…state. I might have been in trouble.

When a friend’s in need, I will come to help, there’s no need to be courteous. Since I happen to be around and noticed your quarrel with those two, and so I just stepped in to give lip-guy #2 a queen size lecture , but I wonder what was the cause of this conflict?

The lip-guy #1 shorter person had a promise to duel with me on this date, but he cheated by bringing another helper.

Jiangwu is filled with vicious individuals, please be careful next time, Jesus.

Not as ferocious as you. Thanks for the advice.

I have something to attend to, you take care.

Take care. I need to go home and bleach my brain out.

One more visit to the city.


Lady Ruta, you are gathering herbs again?

Yeah, I just gathered all of them and was about to go home…….Oh yeah! I've been producing this newly researched medicine that can restore all your vitality. All it costs is 500 silvers, do you want to try one? I am sure it will be very helpful for your training.

1) Okay, I will have one
2) Nah, I shouldn’t randomly consume untested medicine.

Let's experiment with a comment based voting system instead of actual voting, so the one who make the best post(s) about to take or not to take drugs untested medicine will decide the result.

Potential Avatar of the day

Just who the hell do you think I am?!