The Let's Play Archive

Legend of Wulin Heroes

by Nyaa

Part 34: Chapter Thirty-Five: Is All About The Face

I am trying new format for battle presentation this time since still images seem to be cooler and the facebook with text on bottom seems to be cleaner looking plus the book is too small to hold most of the long lines of English in one page. Feedback appreciated.

Part Thirty-Five: Is All About The Face
Music: Mail Service Station

We met lots of people during the mission, so it's time to update our facebook.

“Swallow History: Unknown background, used to be a member of the Beggar Sect’s Great Kindness Brigade, but was expelled due to grave robbing, and has been known since then as Graverobber Swallow. Her independent personality stems from being an orphan and she also loves treasures and antiques especially golden accessories. She is a money hungry girl.”

“Old Sincere: Son of Wudong sect’s second generation student Old Leaves, he has a fair and kind personality, and although his kung fu is average, he has the trait of never giving up, spending lots of time training and he certainly will become unique. Relishes tasting many various teas.”

“Tang Crown: Son of Flying Tang the head of Tang Family. He is a vile person. He will use dirty tricks in battle and kill people in cold blood. A person who pursues entertainment; he shares his love of antiques with Any North and hangs out with his gang of rich buddies.”

“Nix Summer: Absolute Saber Sect’s successor, fully inherited father’s Thirteen Absolute Saber Style, and created his own Spiral Saber Style so as to overcome Heavenly Sword Sect’s Seven Sword Style of Heaven. He is a person of justice, but he has quite a quick temper. He has some appreciation for tea."

“Great Guan: Son of Rainbow Agency’s director Long Rainbow Guan, has a good reputation in Luoyang and across the world of Wulin with his Green Dragon Saber Style. Bandits anywhere would reconsider before raiding his delivery packages. Well educated at a young age he has accumulated some achievements in the world of literature. He once won the runner up award for Luoyang's first annual calligraphy competition.”

When the brain complains about too much information, that mean it is thirsty.

A bottle of Fen Jiu!

Great! Coming right up!

Yes sir! Coming right up!

…(This person has a commendable aura, I should have a chat with him)

Waiter, this buddy’s tab is on me.

Yes sir!

………waiter, two more bottles of Maku!

You have a great tolerance!

I never count how much I drink, not to mention when someone is treating me…speaking of that, you can treat me, but can you drink?

My tolerance is pretty weak, but can endure a few bottles, if you don’t mind, I will drink with you.

Great, please sit. Waiter, bring us another bowl!

Cement bowls were the drinking mugs of ancient china.

Yes sir!

I will start!

Me too!




The bird watches as those two refill sixty percent of their body’s water content with alcohol.

One more bowl!

Sure…one…one more…

Hahahahaha, great! My name is Wintry Sword, how should I call you?

I am…Je…sus.

Jesus buddy is impressive. I am glad to have met you, but I have things to do today, so I have to stop here. Thanks for the treat! Goodbye!

This guy has a lead belly…UGHHHH!

Your alcohol skill increased…
Your energy decreased!

The next obvious place for a drunken guy to hang around is the street.

Eh! What's happening over there?

Yay, it's Thunder Midget and his team!

We are the Four Dragons of Five Mountains!

If you know what’s good for you, give us everything you have and we will let you live!


Brat! If you want to die so badly, then so be it!

1) Solve the injustice!
2) Not my problem.

Preemptive glasses wearing.

Hey! If it isn’t Sir Thunder of Twin Hammer, long time no see!

Are you blind? When did you see me holding two hammers?

…this man is made of face.

One hammer in your hand and one hammer on top of your neck, that’s twin hammers.

You rotten kid dare to make fun of me!? Watch me hammer you into meat paste!

The drinking buddies team vs. the Four Dragons of Five Mountains.

Jesus completely ignores those small fries and goes to chat with his buddy while Speed Wind takes the initiative and charges in for first strike on Jesus' back.

Obviously this is a bluff on the drinker’s side and Wintry Sword jump above and descends for the surprise attack.

Jesus then quickly blasts him with his awesome manhood while everyone tries to catch up to save Speedy.

They didn't make it. Speedy come, Speedy go.

Right after the fall of Speedy, Jesus sets Spearman Long on fire.

And Wintry sent the boxer flying with an undodgable kick to the face. Thunder Midget watches in awe.

Finally, Thunder Midget's got symbolically Giga Drilled right through the giant face.

All battle stat increased.
Your reputation increased.

Hmph! What sky thunder and breaker of earth?

I said he is Loud Thunder and no rain.

Hmph! Fake Guan Yu wannabe.

What with this shapeless fist and vanishing leg!

Hmph! Looks like girly fist and frog legs!

Speedy Wind? Hmph! Today you are wind that's trapped in a valley!

Please spare us sir! We won’t do it again!!!

Then scram!

Yes! Yes! Thank you so much!!!

What Four Dragons of Five Mountains, looks to me like Four Worms of Five Mountains.

Exactly! Lots of worms on a mountain, but those four are the biggest!

Hahahhahaha….I didn’t know that you not only have a good alcohol tolerance, but your kung fu is great too.

Hehe, you overstate my ability.

Now that we meet again , I am suddenly itching for another round of alcohol, come, come, come, let’s go and drink!

1) Drink
2) Don’t drink

Hell yeah we are drinking!

Sure, I will drink with you till we are down!

Great! Hahahah….

The bird goes for a drink while they are going to the liquor store.

Waiter, bring us two bowl and ten gallons of alcohol.

Ten…ten gallon?

What are you waiting for? Hurry up!

Yes, yes.

Let’s drink to our heart's content!

Warning: Drinking more than a quarter of a gallon in a short period could kill you, and your heart will not be content with it.


Please enjoy.

Here, I go first!

My turn!

Great, I will drink another bowl.

Same here!


Hahahahah….it's so great to drink with you!

You have great tolerance, I am impressed!

You are not bad either!

It's late, I've drunk enough, and should leave soon. Last time you treated me, so this time it's my turn. Waiter, give me the bill.

Yes sir!

So, where do you live?

Anywhere, let’s drink again when we meet next time.

Sure, I will come.

Your relationship with Wintry Sword increased.

“Wintry Sword: Genius swordsman who mastered his swordsmanship without a master when he obtained a book about war strategy and used its content to create the Overlord Sword Style. While it seems to be plain, it can overcome the opponent at a critical moment. Has an inhuman appetite for alcohol, once drank with Drunken Deity for three hundred rounds to a draw.”

Jesus been ignoring training like…since the beginning, but helping people is obviously more important.

Damn, what rotten luck to see that face again, now I'm gonna have nightmares tonight.

What did you say!?

I said you are ugly, fool! HAHAHAHAHA!


Simon Buddy, don’t lower yourself to their level. We are obviously stronger in kung fu, so let them run their mouth

I spit at you. Simon Pig, if you have the balls then fight me here, instead of only talking trash.

That is what I am supposed to say!

Summer buddy, there’s no need to fight. Dirtying your cloth is not worth the trouble.

Simon Buddy, you should let it go cause beating him would cause great shame and lose a lot of face in his sect. He is the successor to his sect after all.

No more talking! Today I won’t stop until he kneels down in front of me and begs!

Watch this!

Eh? They are fighting. Did those two have some sort of grudge?

That's right! The one who uses a saber is Nix Summer of the Absolute Saber Sect from Chengdu, and the one who uses a sword is Simon West of Luoyang's Heavenly Sword Sect. These two sects used to belong to the Sword and Saber sect, but ever since the master passed away, senior student Simon Zen and his second schoolbrother Summer Fort broke it up into two sects due to their different opinions of the sword and saber. Their rivalry and conflict continues to this day thirty years later.

Editor Comment: God Damn! What's up with that person's face? Either “it” has no nose or “it” has to eat with a straw... We really need to see the non-chibi portrait of this guy.

Author Comment: Not in facebook yet.

I see…then those other two are…

The one with Nix Summer is Tang Crown of the Tang Family from Chengdu, and the one with Simon West is Saberman Shang of Bagua Sect from East Mountain.

The Tang family is famous for the art of throwing hidden weapons with their swift movement and crudeness; plus, they poison their weapons with a poison that is strong enough to kill the weak the instant they are cut. Head of the Family Flying Tang even achieved the state of soundless throwing, killing people with invisibility, and so people gave him the title of One Shot, One kill.

Bagua Sect is led by Shang Crane and is famous for the Bagua Palm and Saber Style he created from observing the Bagua Trigram graph, in total the technique includes sixty-four forms and pairing it with the theory of Ying and Yang it can reach a total of one hundred and twenty eight forms. If multiple groups of people form the Bagua formation, then the top Wulin masters might not be able to win. And so he obtained the title of Bagua Shang.

(I wonder who will win?)
….and you are…

I am Any North of the Blacksmith Mountain Manor, and you are?

I am Jesus of the Carefree Valley.

So you are master Flawless’ student, nice to meet you.

You sure know a lot about the things in Wulin.

Nah, those things are just common knowledge.

(……did he just indirectly call me shallow minded?)

Hahaha, does Simon Pig, surrender yet?

Hmph! I just lost because my weapon sucks, otherwise you wouldn’t be standing.

Haha, what a lame reason! Fine, to make you lose wholeheartedly, someone give him a sword!

……….I just use throwing weapons, there was no need for me to bring sword.

I use sabers, so there’s no way I have a sword.


1) Lend him a sword
2) Just watch

Normal Vote Begin: Choose one of the following option.
1) Lend him a strong sword
2) Lend him a weak sword
3) Just watch

There is no bad answer this time, so pick whatever you like.

Potential Avatar of the Day

Dammit! I need a sword!

Potential Avatar of the Night

Naaahh, yoo juss neeeed som beeer~~~