The Let's Play Archive

Legend of Wulin Heroes

by Nyaa

Part 90: Chapter Ninety: Appearance of the Villain Wannabe

In favor of having more time to translate future games, I decide to proceed rapidly toward evil route.

Part Ninety: Appearance of the Villain Wannabe

(Hmm…how about Christ)

Hey! That sounds like a curse word, I like it!

Wait what?

May I inquire as to your name?

Oh, I don’t mean that… um.. my name is…

Um-I’m just kidding. Let’s just go with that.

It seems you are also an admirer of Little Shrimp……

(Now we are stuck with that name huh?)


(Oh boy, I am stuck with this righteous hero wannabe.)

…Come, let's gossip more in the teahouse.

Yes, please.

Bah, gossip is boring.

(By the way, I never asked your name)

Eh…..I still like the name Baal, so I will go with that, but you can call me Ba.

(Alright, nice meeting you)


So you said this is the first time you've visited Luoyang?

Yes! I'm not here just to see the statue…… there are lots of stories about Little Shrimp, but I never heard about what school he belonged to.

He learned it himself…

(Aww man, more people joining the gossip.)

The bird watches everything in fast forward.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah......

(Ugh, they sure are talkative.)

…but unfortunately I have some business to take care of, so please excuse me…

(’s finally over.)

If there’s anything you need, just ask.

Tell me about tea!


The bird watches as Rater Ye describe teas in the most poetic enthusiasm for roughly an hour.

…sophisticated aftertaste… it surpasses art; it’s not poetry, but it surpasses literature….from its light color, light aroma, and mild sensation. It’s good for the lungs and cooling effect.

……….ughhh, what the Christ! He described all the teas in this tea house!

(…alright, I guess I will talk to those four armed men over there.)

Hmpf! Little Shrimp the hero? He looks like a kid to me!

Yeah man! He didn’t even grow a mustache yet...

They are idiots, just leave.

But they are…

Trust me.

See? They didn’t even notice you left.

Wait, where are you going?

The White Horse Temple.

What! Uhhh…gahh, I-I think we should leave.





What are you two arguing about?…

[Suddenly a soothing musical melody begins, and all three of them stopped their argument to listen to the beautiful music]

Ahh…such wondrous music.

Wow…it almost makes me want to give up my mundane struggle in this hateful world...

Let’s go meet the musician.

…yeah, let’s.

Your music is so beautiful!

Thank you. I saw you three were having a heated argument…

(Ahh…I can still hear the melody dancing in my mind…)


Oh, you are back. I’ve been trying to talk to you but you seemed to be out, so I went ahead and prayed to Buddha. The old lady said my wish would come true.


Yeah, the smug face Buddha statue over there.

(Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap)

Let’s see, first I have to offer the first and second incense…

(Mother of Christ! He’s looking at me!)

I guess I will wish to become luckier, hopefully it will get me into a good school.

[Suddenly you feel luckier! Your luck stat is now 80]

I went ahead and picked luck since that got the second highest vote last time.


(Huff…huff…hufffff….that was close.)

Alright, time to replace my old tools so I can go make some money.

Do you really need all these tools and 500 arrows?

(I became a pretty good hunter and herb gatherer after all the starvation and poisonous snakes on my way to Luoyang.)

Sounds like a rough journey. Well, I am pretty good at mining myself, so I will show you a few tricks if you are interested.

(Hey that’s a good idea! We can learn different things and complement each other’s ability and together we can become twice as strong as anyone and make twice the money!)

Hahaha! In that case, buy that fishing rod too, I’m sure I can master that in no time.

(Oh…it’s not easy…but alright.)

Young man, can you believe this!?

What happened, sir?

This villain Vengeful Ba almost escaped.

Yeah! Luckily Honorable Kung’s kung fu is strong enough to take him down; otherwise we would have days of worry ahead.

What crime did Vengeful Ba commit?

What crime?! MURDER! He massacredthe ten members of the Jing family in cold blood!

I heard he didn’t even spare the three years old child!

The officer's kung fu is too weak. Why else would he nearly escape?

Shhh, you will get in trouble if the officer hears you!

(Wow, what a vile person)

(Hey! That Jing family are the real assholes!)

(You know them?)

Uhh…nevermind. Damn, that ruins my mood, let’s go to the local gambling place and let me have some fun.

(Umm…okay….y-you can win a lot right?)

O-of course!

Bring it.

The bird watches as Christ lost all his money.


……this is actually a special lesson to teach you that gambling is bad.

…is that so?

Y-yes, I promise we will make it back.


Oh man…

What's the matter? Why are you so gloomy?


You lost all your money?

I really should never gamble, but the greed got to me, what?

If you have any problem, I might be able to help.

Hold it! Why are you helping him? We are broke too, remember?

(But...we can’t just leave him here like this...)

Yes you can! That guy lost his money because he’s greedy, now he will have to deal with the debt! He needs to learn a lesson like you did!

How can you help? I borrowed three hundred silvers and all I have now is fifty silvers, what can you do? I lost all my hopes of winning the next bet. Unless you want to bet it for me?

Nah, I am not confident.

The bird continues to observe the developing behavior of Christ due to the other soul that counsels him on various occasions. The influence leads to…

Respond rudely toward Swordsman Just.

Converse with Saberman Shang.

…and that’s why a woman’s ass is the greatest thing ever!

(Indeed, you have opened my eyes to the world of tight asses!)

This girl’s soft skin and tender lamb-like flesh sure makes me want to cop a feel!

Indeed! What a firm body!

Kid, you have a good eye.

Who wouldn’t fall for this beautiful damsel!

Kid, you dress like a man of Wulin, how should I call you by?

I am Christ, new to Jiangwu, what’s your name?

Bagua Sect Saberman Shang, Jiangwu people call me the Nine Revolving Sequence Saber.

So it’s Shang buddy, pardon my manners!

Alright, I have important things to do, no time to chat with you, farewell.

Despise the quick farewell, Jesus became great friend with Saberman Shang nonetheless.

[Sigh], boy, will you do me a favor?


The bird watches Christ and Ba make money.

By hunting like a boss.

Developing rational hatred for fishing.

Hey, you look familiar, are yo—



Wh-what is this!?

It’s best you don’t ask, just hit the moles and they will give you ore. Make sure to hit the female ones extra hard for better results.


All these eventually lead to the poisoning of Christ.

Vote one for each of the following options
1) Carefree Fist
2) Carefree Palm
3) Carefree Finger
4) Carefree Hazy Kick

1) Carefree Sword Style
2) Carefree Saber Style
3) Carefree Staff Style

Note: There’s only Drunken Staff style and none for sword and saber. So vote staff again if you want that.
Note 2: I didn’t actually train any stats yet, but they all will be 100 eventually anyway. Speak up if you want some change.