The Let's Play Archive

Legend of Wulin Heroes

by Nyaa

Part 94: Chapter Ninety-Four: Copper Injustice

Part Ninety-Four: Copper Injustice

Since Christ’s strategy is to poison people and tank until the opponent’s chi runs out, the Golden Silkworm Armor is clearly the best strategic choice.

I don’t know what kind of silk can be harder than metal, but this looks strong.

It’s time to get rid of this leather vest that only gives 5 defense.

This armor must have thousands of layers because it provides 70 defense! That’s like 14 leather vests stacked together.

Christ returns home with glory. He has pleasing Master Flawless and pissed off Bramble Thorn.

Chinese New Year came and Flawless gave Christ a big stack of silvers for pocket money.

Christ spent a few days cerebrating his triumph with alcohol. During these times, Wintry Sword invited Christ to Dukang Village for more good quality liquor.

There the duo found that a thief had stolen all of the good quality Dukang liquor.

The raging Christ tracked down and captured the thief with Wintry’s help.

During the trial for the fate of the monkey, Christ was planning to sell it to get some extra cash for liquor.

Hey, wait! I think we should keep it.

(Why keep it? Does the monkey not deserve punishment?)

Well, I was thinking we can make it steal alcohol for us.

(OH! That’s a great idea!)

Hence, Christ had a new pet.

Alright, enough screwing around, we need to start training or we will fall behind.

Christ spent some time hardened his skin with boiled hot ironsand.

On his trip to the city to stock up more ironsand, Christ found Ruta selling medicine on the street.

Christ tried her experimental ancient Chinese steroid thing and decides to abandon his training regime to pursue obtaining strength the easy way.

Removed Event!

Been lying here for three hours, and finally someone comes along.

This person dressed like a Wudang Sect disciple, it looks like his pressure points were sealed by someone.

1) Unseal the pressure points.
2) None of my business.

If Christ chooses to ignore him:

You are not hurt except that your pressure points at the leg, waist, and arm have been sealed. I’m sure your Wudang Kung Fu can force them open. Good bye.

That’s not really interesting, so the curious Christ decides to help him.

Don’t worry pal, I will unseal your pressure points.

Thanks for your help, chivalrous one. I am Old Honest of Wudang Sect. By what should I call you?

I am Christ of Carefree Valley. I won’t dare to refer myself as ‘chivalrous one’ in front of the great Wudang’s student, but who would dared to harm someone such as you?

You are too courteous, chivalrous one. [Sigh] It’s like this...there’s been rumors of a Wudang student acting inappropriately; so my master ordered me to find the truth. Unbelievably, I saw my School Brother bullying a fair maiden so I asked him to stop, but my School Brother got angry. He said I was too nosy and started to strike at me.

I was so startled that I couldn’t react in time, but the maiden immediately pressed my pressure points to force me to fall down flat, quickly enough to avoid the strikes of School Brother.

Note: People of Wulin with relevant knowledge of pressure points and proper finger/projectile techniques can seal pressure points to prevent blood flow so the that local muscles are immediately disabled.

Amazing! By which sect would she belong?

Such a beauty… no, such an amazing woman. Her delicate techniques that took down my School Brother within twenty exchanges of techniques, but I couldn’t identify what sect it belongs to, except for this handkerchief that she dropped during the battle.

This handkerchief has the word ‘Weave’ on it, which should be her name. Honest buddy should keep this and return it to her someday.

Yeah! I didn’t even have a chance to thank her!

As luck would have it, the returning Christ and Honest saw Swordsman Just harassing the woman in the city.

School Brother, you shouldn’t force her if she doesn’t want to…and if Master finds out about this…

Silence! The more she doesn’t want to take off her veil, the more I want to see her face. Just don’t tell Master about it and everything will be fine.

1) Wholeheartedly agree.
2) Just buddy, you shouldn’t force people to do things against their wishes.

Christ buddy, even you…

Vile men, I will kill you all!

Old Honest joins with Little Weave’s side against Team Vile Men.

Christ copped a feel and calls it self-defense. Swordsman Just approves.

Little Weave tries to destroy Christ’s manhood, but his defense are just too hard!

Soon after, Weave’s master jumped in to ruin the feel-copping party.

… or make it better!

The bird watches as these two probably destined-to-be rapists became best friends forever.

The Beggar came for more food; Jesus cooked up some left over food and sent him away.

Scholar and Painter Qing came to invite Flawless to Hangzhou, but he couldn’t go so they took Christ along instead.

Arriving at Hangzhou, the local fortune teller told Christ that his luck is pretty good.

Your luck increased, it is now 85

Christ got shoved into the local parlor, he couldn’t wait to cop a feel at the most beautiful woman, known as “Little Fragrance”.

From what I see, your four skills of Music, Chess, Calligraphy, and Painting skill are less than thirty. I suggest you go back.

WHAT!? I want to see her! Dammit!

(We will try again next time)

How was it?

You see her?

I failed the test, my apologies for disappointing you two…

Ai yaa… forget it, let’s go.

During the search for Beggar Sect, Christ helped a lady, known as Azure, to find her hairpin.

After a bit of exploring, the trio finally discovered the location of the local Beggar Sect.

Christ really dislikes the smell of these beggars and their problems with rescuing some General.

Hey, we should join the rescue so we can test out on how our drugs training are going.

(We are going against the imperial forces though; maybe we should get few more people)

1) Join the rescue
2) Help find the person
3) You are on your own

Although I’m not part of the sect, I can go find more people to assist you with your rescue.

I thank you for your offer, but for safety’s sake, it’s best we keep it a secret; so don’t worry about us. We can deal with it!

That’s not true, Beggar! This is the whole nation’s problem of the nation, so any loyalist should offer to help. Smelly beggars! We three will join the operation, ’nuff said.

Great! You are truly my friend.

Your moral increased, it is now 29

Before charging to the rescue, Mr.Ye! Mr. Ye! What is Christ’s ranking?

Let’s see~~~ your current kung fu ranking is… 128th
…what? Bu-but Christ was 125th last time! He won the tournament and ate so many steroids too!

Editor: Does the game allow for NPCs to improve their ranking over time? Seeing how Bramble Thorn skyrocketed last playthrough in stats...

Author: I don’t know about this, it could be the ranking formula that gets tougher as the game progress or NPC does rank up.

The doubtful Christ decides to prove his worth and joins the team leading the jail raid, and is thus the first to meet the awkward looking guards.

Christ isn’t sure what happened, but he was temporarily flashed by some sort of shining man-bra lightning that really, really hurts his perverted eyes.

Despite Christ’s high defence, he lacked offensive power and so was eventually taken down by the onslaught of goons and blinding man-bra attack.

You’re finally awake, School Brother.

I am back at the valley??

Our friends at the Beggar Sect brought you home.

What about General Wei?

I heard they didn’t manage to rescue him.

Aww!! I failed to help out.

Alright, no need to say any more.

I blame th-that bra thing.

(I think the problem is that we depended too much on the drugs and didn’t really train our kung fu again and our strategy seems to only work well against battles with small number of enemies.)

Nonsense! You learn the best against living targets! That’s my philosophy!

With no clue as to how to proceed in their training, Christ and Ba decide to work on the artistic skills so they can meet the Hangzhou beauty next time. In the mean time, a bunch of events happened.

Removed Event!

Hey! I am Swallow History. Who are you?

I am Christ of Carefree Valley. What do you need?

Interest in tomb raiding for some goodies?

1) Yes
2) No

Sure! I was pretty bored.

I know lots of good places around here, let’s go!

Alright, let’s go!

The bird watches Christ and Swallow go through so many adventures.

Wow!! So much loot!

Of course, did you think I would lie to you? I will call you again next time we have the chance, see ya!

So professional! She just disappeared right where she departed!

Obtain Shovel
Your relationship with Swallow increased

Bandits ambush Great Guan in the forest!

1) Help
2) Watch with cold eyes

Guan promptly beat all the bandits.

You win this time, Great Guan. We will leave!

Guan buddy’s Kung fu is impressive, Long Rainbow Saber style is lives up to its name.

…’s nothing. Carefree Valley’s kung fu of watching with cold eyes is as astounding.

Ah hehehe…

I need to hurry, won’t be able to stay long. Farewell.

Removed Event!

Kid, you look like you know your way about hunting.

Not a lot, but I do know the basics.

I also know a bit about archery, are you interested?

That would be wonderful, please show me.

Hmm…to make a fine shot, you must……

Learning from your perspective, I learned a lot, may I inquire as to your name?

Meetings do nott need to be committed to memory; I will leave this black painted bow and wish that it will help you. If we are destined to meet, then we will meet again, farewell.

You obtain black paint bow
Your hunting skill increased

The bow is just a mid level bow that you can buy from the shop.

Thorn has a crush on the visiting lady Cao.

Christ learned to shoot chess pieces at mosquitoes.

Christ met Azure and along the way, they heard about the loansharks who intimidated the kind lady who sheltered them.

1) I will pay the interest for you!
2) I will punish him!

Christ figures showing some wealth and solving things peacefully like a gentleman would woo Azure.

B-but I can’t just accept this.

No worries, I’m not in need of it, your daughter’s safety is more important, so you should use it.

Thank you sir, you are a great person…

You lost 1000 silvers

Hoho, it’s nothing. We should take our leave, farewell.

Take care, great sir.

Why didn’t you just punish that Mr. Ho guy?

I just want to help the madam, so there’s no need for violence.(or ‘no need to be violent’)

Tsh, that’s your weakling’s reasoning. The world is filled with repressed citizens, and what you did is just supporting the bad people! It’s better to beat them all up nice and clean!

Now she’s my type!

I don’t think of it that way. Both are ways to solve a problem, so isn’t using peaceful method better than using a violent method? Consequently it won’t beget to more hatred.

You just didn’t want to back down and look bad, did you?

Enough, enough. Let’s not argue anymore, the day is getting dark, I should take my leave, see you next time!

Your reputation increased, it is now 112
Your moral increased, it is now 31
Your reputation with Azure decreased

Removed Event!

Waiter! Where’s the liquor? Hurry up!

Great alcohol tolerance, sir!


I am Christ of Carefree Valley; may I ask if you are Wudang’s Swordsman Just?

Waiter! If you don’t get here now, I will make you run in circles!

(This person is eighty percent drunk.)

1) Annoy him
2) Leave

I sit where I want, what are ya gonna do about it?

You want to fight!? Leave now or I will beat you so hard, you won’t be able to stand!

Your relationship with Swordsman Just decreased
Your moral increased, it is now 33.

Lastly, Christ went to the Flower Contest.

Hurr hurr, you are finally here, kid. Did you take cares of your flowers?

I have followed your orders fully and now it has blossomed into a beautiful flower.

Hurr hurr hurr, well done. Then there shouldn’t be any problem.

Then Christ noticed this hot chick that makes Chi Li looks like… well, normal.

1) Accidently crash into her, use it as an opportunity to meet her.
2) Just talk to her
3) Take to Flower Elder about flowers to attract her attention.

Hurr hurr hurr, good.

Body….SLAM! Those fine exposed legs are worth it.


Ah, ma’am, are you alright?

……why do you slam into people so suddenly, didn’t you see anyone nearby?

I am truly sorry, due to my urgency and lack of attention, I accidently lunged on you. Such bad manners, please forgive me.

………I am fine, you can go.

Eh…you really are fine?

Is nothing……..weren’t you in a hurry?

1) I’ve been enthralled by your beauty and lost my sense of time.
2) I was attracted to your special quality, and forgot about the mundane world.

Both lead to a different question and answer that can instantly result in a failure of this event if Christ chooses wrongly. Let’s go with #2.

Oh? What’s my special quality that attracted you?

It’s the quality of ‘Flower’.

Quality of Flower? Huhu, interesting. Tell me what you find about me that have such a quality.

I see……

1) The elegance and class of Peony.
2) Wild rose’s attitude and its coolness.
3) The shyness, soft, and sunny air of chrysanthemum.

Choose #2, or she will lose interest and leaves with a farewell.

Oh? This is the first time someone defined me like that.

Pardon my straightforwardness if I offended you.

Huhu, you are being quite reckless, but wild rose does suit my taste, so I won’t hold it against you.

Thank you, ma’am.

You describe people with flowers, so then you must be a flower lover too?

That’s true, I am one of the participants in the Peony King competition.

Then you must have grown quite a beautiful Peony.

Not in a millionth as beautiful as you.

… are you eating my tofu?

Note: “Eating tofu” is a saying related to sexual harassment based on the folk lore that during the past, tofu shops were usually operated by married couples. The husband woke up at midnight to grind tofu and the wife sold it in the daytime, and since the wife ate tofu as her staple food, her skin is smooth and pretty. Since semi-flirting with hand touching and such with the customer will bring business, the act attracted lots of man to come “eat tofu” with the wife as an excuse to cop a feel.

Thus, the jealous wives of those men become dissatisfied and used the phrase “you are going to eat tofu again” to nag at their husband. Eventually, “eating tofu” became associated with the meaning of a man harassing a woman.

Editor: That was enlightening. I never knew there was such an origin of the saying.

Author: There is other variation, and I like this one the most.

Not at all. I just want to express the words in my heart…

You said so many nice things, but I don’t even know who you are.

Ah, I am such a klutz. I am Christ of Carefree Valley; may I inquire as to your fair name?

I am Ren Faire.

Ren Faire…what a lovely name! You are not only a beauty, even your name is a beauty…(why am I looking like a pervert…)

Every flower lover, I thank you all for coming…….this year’s Peony king is…Christ of Carefree Valley!

It’s me! I actually won!

Congratulations, Sir Christ.

May Sir Christ come up to accept everyone’s cheers!

Going to walk as slow as possible to soak in all the extended glory~~

Now let our previous Flower king present the trophy.

Going to walk as slow as possible to delay the passing on of the glory~~

Hohoho, wonderful, kid. You didn’t disappoint me, and so the prize this time, the Golden Miracle Seed, is yours. I hope you can grow her well.

Obtain Golden Miracle Seed

Does the new Flower king have anything to say to the audience?

1) Uhh….thanks everyone.
2) First I would like to thank my parent……
3) I want to give this peony to a lady.

What!? Which lady?

Chi Li was so teary-eyed when Christ walked down the stair…

…and broke down crying when Christ walked past her.

Although it’s not as good as a wild rose, I hope you will accept it.

What a sensational Flower King! Everyone give them a grand applause!

Potential Avatar of the Day
      Beautiful treasures!