The Let's Play Archive


by corn in the bible

Part 3: Everything is useless

gatz posted:

crowfeathers, can I make a recommendation? The LP is great so far, but I think you should put your own text in italics as an indicator that it's not the from the game.

Sure, that's a good idea. I've tried that in this update, and if it seems like people like the change I'll go back and edit the past ones to match.

SWMadness posted:

Well bravo to whoever mentioned this in the LP Recommendation thread. This is fantastically surreal and I hope it keeps getting better (worse?).

Wow, did not expect that. I'm glad that people seem to be enjoying the LP - that's the goal, right?

But now, without further delay, welcome back once again to Legie. Last time, if you remember, our hero swore he would find more beer! Unfortunately, no beer devils being present, he has to wander around in the woods for a while instead. Fortunately for us, there are some new things we can do in there now that we’ve finished the coachman section of the game. First off, let's go meet the local lumberjack.

What racket in the forest! Why so eager?
I have to save as much wood as possible or we shall freeze in winter. Old mighty logs spring in an endless rain as a lump of decaying unhappiness. I have to cut all healthy wood and stock up...
A strange thing, gluing the fingers...
I have never seen anything like this even in the giant mountains. The view brings sadness to my lumberjack's heart. I have forever called this forest my home and when I see dead needles fall it's like seeing tiles fall from my roof. But you can mend the roof. I can hardly cut and sell these old rotting trees.

You don't bring much joy. Why are you torturing me with those words? Why should I listen to you? You are just restraining me from my work and irritating my patience!

And that's the end of his presence in our story. For the rest of the game he'll sit there cutting wood and never respond to us. However, now we can finally go and do what we came here to do, which is to visit an old shack in the middle of the woods.

If I knew a way, I would have been there a long time ago.
Really? Come show me your chin!

We couldn't do this before - the shack was just an unusable part of the scenery. Inside, we meet our newest character:

I have an inhuman task to find some brewer in these marches! My lord, mad from anger, sends me to all the devils to search. Therefore I blaspheme walking through here calling him even though I don't believe in these things much.
You don't have to believe or doubt, you don't have to go anywhere just stop and listen, just stop and look around.
Is there some horned one that could brew beer? I will give him anything!
You are walking on his shadow. He is chained to a rock but still walking here for centuries. If you give anything, anything will be your reward!
A few beer barrels! I will sign with my blood, if there is but a bit of truth!

Maybe you thought that was just hyperbole before. No, it's time to sell our soul to the devil for beer!

You will remove the wedge from the stone and release the force that will break the mountains in half. You will cut your way through the guards and return what has been lost. You will outsmart the hooded ones in old armor and walk through the wall to your glory!
By all the devils I have no idea what to do...?
An old grimoire is hidden and guarded somewhere in this land. It swaps places in the hands of brotherhood searching for the key to immortal life. Its strength will not be hidden even in the belly of the earth, therefore they travel the world. Ground trembles and something evil crawls to the surface. Many were interested in its strength, but few lasted and only some can touch it!
I will go searching but which way?
Not the way of an ordinary man!

I should discuss how the dungeon crawling works in Legie. Every dungeon is laid out on a grid system - you turn with the mouse and click to move, just like in town. The problem is that without a light, you can't click on any hotspots at all – including any torches that you may find in the dungeon. They are definitely useful, since torches run out eventually, but to pick them up you must already have a lit torch with you, so they're no good to us right now.
We have to go and find one somewhere that's properly lit, or alternatively buy one from the merchant - however, there is a finite amount of money in the game, and torches are consumable, so that's generally a terrible idea. Still, if we go into the main dungeon right now, we'll be killed by the bats there that we are powerless to touch. We check out this cave instead.

Herein present frostiness is not unpleasant at all, it reeks of secrets and forgiving sense of damnation.

...Right. Wandering around for a bit, we find a dying old man

And steal his stash of torches. Excellent! Now we're all set to explore the real dungeon. Might as well talk to the old man as well, I suppose.

I can hear steps! Who's here?
Don't be afraid, I am not a murderer...
Why are you haunting these halls of oblivion, young man?
I am searching for something to no avail.
I am searching for something myself... for a peace of soul so it can peacefully go out in this darkness. I do not know anyone. My humble room is just by the entrance to these corridors, boots would not escape my hearing. My thirsty throat aches after such speech... bring me some water from the rocky spring, boy, so that I will catch my breath and tell you more.

He gives us a cup, we walk around until we find the water, fill it up, bring it back. Not a big deal, and not really a difficult puzzle. Those are coming up soon, though, so don't worry about that.

One spring one from the rock. So how about this place?
These caves have always been used as a hermitage. An order of strange monks snooped here long years ago. They dug all these tunnels. I don't know myself where all the labyrinth is leading and I do not burn with curiosity but some adventurers spoke about flooded corridors, caved-in walls and opened tombs. Hundreds of legends are told about the order of the strange monks. The truth is, however, they all got lost somewhere down there. I will tell you one more secret. Just as my dying last wish, dry my face and tidy up around my bed.
I kicked it under the bed that is the best tidying up!

I guess that’s good enough, since as thanks the old man tells us about a secret gold cache in the mines. Exciting!

A golden seam in the mines, they could not exploit it before the water started flooding the underground. If the mines are forever closed they are planning to dig their own riches there. They erected a false wall in that tunnel. Look on the walls and find the hole. Dig yourself some riches merciful boy and do not play dice with death in these cursed tunnels.
I feel obliged for such a priceless information!

With the torches from the old man's death-bed and our new information, we're ready to do some real dungeon-crawling. Tune in next time when we go look for gold! And maybe for the Grimoire of Satan, if we have time. But for now, I’ll leave you with this sneak peek of the upcoming dungeon.

Thanks again for reading, you guys!