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I'm noticing a tendency for this thread to slip down to page 3 with no or few replies to my updates. A more sensitive man would probably take that personally, guys. well, I'm going to be finishing this thread whether anyone reads it or not, so there.

There's an electric mouse trying to get all up ons on this platform, but fortunately jumping up to grab a ledge seems to be one of those animations that can't be interrupted.

This room contains an LGSB, but it seems easy enough to avoid -

Wait, what sorcery is this? The LGSB cycles rapidly through four different positions - one on each ledge and one just to the right of where Conrad is now. No fancy bug exploitations can help us get out of this one, you just have to get the timing right.

Jumping up just as the LGSB on the middle platform vanishes seems to do the trick.

Conrad feels a bit smug.

More of those horrible cyborgs. In the top room a cyborg walks constantly back and forth, endlessly tripping two tripswitches that turn the LGSB on and off. There's a key in there (marked with an arrow) that we need but currently there's no way up.

We take solace in this by killing the other guy first and nicking all his worldly goods.

This should look familiar, it's the same kind of teleporter we gave to that ingrate of a dying man back on Titan. Golly that seems like a lifetime ago.

This time, though, we get a receiver to go with it. They fetch a higher price on eBay as a matching pair.

The door up above opens clandestinely and we're free to murder the other cyborg and take his key.

Now all we have to do is get back through the switching LGSBs. Don't bother trying to time the right moment to climb down, because there isn't one - you'll always die. Instead we make use of the do-it-yourself teleport kit we just picked up.

Using the teleport receiver causes Conrad to fling the extremely sophisticated, expensive piece of technology through the air.

And now using the teleport zips Conrad instantly to wherever the receiver landed, in this case right next to an electrowang droid, but the theory is sound.

The teleport is probably one of the more useful items in the game. Now we can instantly access anywhere a receiver can be hurled and bypass a lot of dangers. You just have to remember to take the receiver with you again after you rematerialize. Failing to do so is the future equivalent of locking your keys inside your car.

Anyway, let's see what's down this hole.

Oh. Okay, we'll just reload that. Now let's cleverly chuck the teleport receiver down there instead.

There we go. This would have been a nice toy to have had earlier.

Another of those moving LGSBs attempts to pursue us again but it's really not much of a threat, just keep moving.

Soon enough we shake it off and - oh christ - are introduced to the new enemy, the Morph. These fellows are, not to put too fine a point on it, gits. Of all the things this game throws at you, these dudes are the toughest to kill.

Most of the time they wobble around in their blue blob form. In this form they can move with alarming speed, leap across gaps, climb up and down ledges and muck around on the ceiling, as the jerk in this screenshot is doing. They'll try to get close to you, then turn into their humanoid form. If they transform while touching you, you get hit and lose a shield. Avoiding this is pretty hard considering how fast the blobs can move.

They also have a long distance attack they use in humanoid form, which looks very much like they're throwing a plate at you.

They'll take on humanoid form at seemingly random moments if you're some distance away, in order to fling dinner service at your teeth, and it's only at these moments that they're vulnerable. So the best strategy for dealing with them is to concentrate on keeping your distance. How do you do that? With the bloody crouch and roll, of course. Roll back and forth as the morph tries to wobble close to you, then start firing when they transform. I dread to think what kind of back pain all this is going to leave Conrad with, he'll probably be walking around like a croquet hoop before he's 40.

Once you shoot them enough times they melt away into nothingness, defying any thoughts you had about taking home a trophy.

Another morph shows up to challenge you in the next room. But as long as we fight them on fairly wide platforms, the roly poly strategy continues to pay off.

Here's another one in the area below, which I screengrabbed just as it was in the act of dropping from the ceiling. I don't know why, but it looks kind of gross. It's like an alien stiffy.

A nice, quiet, empty corridor. It can't last.

Aw, isn't that sweet? The electrowang droid is trying to kill me. He doesn't seem to have noticed that there's a wall between me and him. There's no possible way to get to where he is, too. In many ways it's pretty tragic.

The next room catches me off guard with TWO moving LGSBs heading straight for me and THREE robot spheres waiting in the holes down below. Only bug exploitation can save us now.

Standing in this position keeps us safe from the LGSBs and somehow the sphere doesn't seem too bothered about trying to kill me. I wish robot spheres could be this laid back about their work more often.

Like now, for instance. Climbing back up causes all three robot spheres to rise up with you. I think now would be a good time to hang courage in favour of running like a scared little girl.

Escaping that utterly sadistic room, Conrad happens upon a dead end and a mysterious piece of machinery. So of course he does the logical thing and stands under it.

Conrad embraces the universe like a blazing star!

And reappears in a mysterious and incredibly purple location!

Deposited on an alien world, millions of light years from home, you'll notice in the top right that Conrad has somehow regained his ID card. Yeah, I'm sure that will be a great help.

Next Update: More Pink Wobbly Nonsense


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