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Well, come on! What is the secret?
Well.. OK. Because I love you guys 
Super Special Bonus Update
The secret everyone is talking about is on Happy Happy Carnage Carnage. In this room there is a false wall just like the one we found the blue crystal behind.
Walk through the south wall...
...and find yourself in a (very) long winding hallway that runs along the entire south side of the level.
Then it turns north and runs along the entire east side of the level.
In this hall are 3 teleporters.
The first teleporter takes us to Don't Get Poisoned. If you go through it before finding the grenade launcher you will die, as you have no way to kill the greater nightmares.
Even if you somehow do kill the monsters, you're still fucked because this room has no way out 
The second teleporter is as good as the first one was bad.
It takes you to A Plague of Demons, right next to your comrade's body.
This lets you skip the entire process of going back up to Ground Floor, spending a ton of ammo fighting oozes on Feel the Power, and stumbling around in panic getting attacked by invisible monsters between the ladder and here.
The third teleporter goes to the same place as the first (death).
At the end of the hall is the Easter Egg.
The Easter Egg is worth 2 points, bringing us up to the fabled 44 points and 28 health.
If you eat it...
...you are teleported to the last level.
Again, if you do this before finding armor-piercing weapons you're fucked since you won't be able to kill the greater nightmares. If you do this the moment you find the egg, you also will have a tough time killing the wraiths because you have no goggles, and you'll probably run out of ammo halfway through because you don't have the cedar box, and you generally don't have enough health for what this level throws at you.
But if you're ready, you can beat the level as normal, with one caveat.
Once you kill all the monsters, you can kill the demon again and get another Alien Gemstone. They both drain your health and they both fit in the box. You don't get another 5 points, but you still get its treasure value.
We don't have the bomb any more, and it's disappeared from the floor, but the game knows we already planted it so we can teleport back out and win when we leave the pyramid.
The one caveat? If you haven't reached I'd Rather Be Surfing before eating the egg, even if you beat all the monsters and teleport out there's a locked door between you and the surface that can only be opened from the side you pass in the normal game progression.
Finishing the game after using the Easter Egg boosts my final score to 83- 2 points for picking up the Easter Egg, and 1 extra point for having more than $900K in treasure (the second gemstone puts us over the top).
I don't believe this has ever been documented on the internet before- pid.bungie.org is characteristically coy about it.
Can you post a quick screenshot of what it is like to walk the 8 hours if you can't get the helicopter to come in? I just want to see the outside of the pyramid.
You see the same pyramid image, but the helicopter sound effect doesn't play. Also the wording of the congratulations alert box is different and you're given an 8-hour penalty in the "time remaining" stat.
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