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That’s right, folks. Resident Evil 4, the action game of the year of 2005 and the last noteworthy title to be released for the Gamecube since Twilight Princess. Also ported to the Playstation 2 as well as a PC release – at somepoint possibly or maybe not. But how could a balls to the walls action fest make for a good Let’s Play thread, you ask? Simple. Its plot was batshit B-Movie campy. Chainsaw wielding doctors wearing potato sacks on their head, cave trolls in S&M gear, girls with monstrous ears, a sexually repressed homicidal maniac hero, midgets; Resident Evil 4 had it all. Now, let us begin our journey into survival horror…

I know there's a pandemic of Let's Play threads of late, but I’ll try to keep things interesting for old and new players as well as try to include all the interesting content possible.

Leon S. Kennedy of Resident Evil 2 fame and the protagonist of our tale narrates a brief summary of the events since his last adventure. As shown:

Video

That’s right, the evil Umbrella Corporation, which no less than a half dozen different characters from assorted sequels have vowed to destroy, was ultimately defeated by…politics and the stock market… Such is the woeful world of economics and the bubble bursting of the Biological Organic Weapon market.

As for what else you need to be brought up to date? Well, a few characters will pop-up shortly and we’ll get to that in due time. Beyond that, not a damn thing. The game has very little to do with the rest of the series and throws continuity and just about all plot points earlier to the wind. The last we saw on Leon, aside from a few brief namedrops in a few games (and pretending Resident Evil Gaiden doesn’t exist), was the epilogue of Resident Evil 3 for him:

You’re a shoe-in to the secret service if you survive a zombie outbreak; don’t you know?

I think that about covers it. Shoot me any questions you have with the series and I'll answer. Now, let’s begin…

Episode I: 4 Resident Evil

It’s one thing to be stylized with your logo. It’s another to just have it on the wrong damn side. The cover is just the same. 4 Resident Evil.

The introduction, once more, just in case you glazed over the above write-up. I know your type:
Video

We’re set in 2004 in case you suck at math. Late in the year, seeing as we have a new President with a dipshit daughter getting kidnapped.

You could say they were a service of secret men. A Secret Service, if you will. Very hush-hush.

Then the President’s daughter, like, totally got kidnapped a week before I was supposed to work and I was like, ‘dude like one less to check on, this is gonna be a totally easy gig.’

Stop you’re whining, you’re lucky your uncle got you a job as an extra.

Yes, guy with an effeminate haircut and a pasty complexion staring longingly out the window like a kid on a boring trip just screams “cowboy” to me as well.

The local’s way of breaking the ice is with an ice-pick to the jugular. These guys are just dorks.

Cop Dos sees calls out the prank. Leon Kennedy reluctantly reveals himself to be Jamie Kennedy.

I’m sorry.

No picnic indeed. He wacked me in the back of the head with his rifle then teabagged my body while I was down.

…to die within the first twenty minutes.

Meanwhile, Leon and his entourage of Redshirts stop so Cop Dos can relieve himself.

She was kind of a slut and placing a bad light on her father’s new administration, so in lieu of sending out a team of commandos and bringing up an international incident, we sent the new guy alone.

Which is not Spain. Pay no attention to the stereotypical accents of the Policia, salsa music, and later on enemies who speak Spanish, and the currency being the peseta.

The vile effects of peer pressure.

Every month more people are killed by smoking than there are public trash cans in New York City. Knowledge is contagious. Truth.

He's been at this for about two minutes now.

Jeff Goldblum stalks in the shadows.

Uh-huh. Shrinkage, right?

Cop Dos zips up and reaffirms himself that it’s clearly the cold to blame for certain plumbing issues. A noise alerts him. He snaps into action…or gawks about slackjawed for a few seconds.

“Kumbi~yah, my lord. Kumbi~yah.”
“Sing it!”

Our band of adventurers come to a stop across a bridge near a house on the outskirts of town.

That dick Leon doesn’t even tell them they’re parked in a handicapped parking space.

Such colorful characters, in no way about to die horribly in minutes.

“IN NO WAY ABOUT TO DIE HORRIBLY IN MINUTES!”
“Oh, si.” *rolls window back up*

Leon gets a call on the Codec.

Kept you waiting, huh? This is Leon. I’m at the Sneaking Point.

You can reach me at frequency 140.85. Don’t forget it.

Alright, I’ll stop.

Have a little less silly a name. Show a little more goods. What sort of operation is this?

Leon gasps at Hunnigan’s man-hands.

Leon suppresses his urges for pillow fights and huggles.

Wait, we didn’t even do any recon on this group at all? Just sent in one guy with a gun into Bumblefuck, Notspain on the off chance that someone maybe saw her in a village out here?

This is going to be one of those days…


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