<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index
Episode X: Pepperjack
When last we left our adventures, the mystery of Leon’s wayward jacket was solved my Miss Wong. Meanwhile, Leon killed a bunch of Ganado and a fish or two. Now, Ada Wong, Leon S. Kennedy, and one large Packers fan are on a fateful collision course. Let’s begin…
Leon makes his way to the Big Cheese’s modest domicile.
The Chief has his room locked with what is perhaps the single most pointless puzzle ever. It takes literally two moves to solve and if you take any more than four, you are considered mentally handicapped in 48 states of the union.
Leon enters and strikes a pose. Perhaps makes a bad joke or two to himself. You know how these kinds of guys are.
The room itself holds a few things of interest. Aside from a question as to why there’s so many portraits of that cult guy everywhere. The artist that was commissioned for that must have made a mint.
Most importantly, a the key to the church in town. Do all cults have their symbol coming out of every orifice?
Oh…I guess they do.
There’s also ammo and cash to raid out of old Mendez’s room.
Also of note is Chief Mendez’s cute little diary.
Chief’s Note
Bitores is honestly the only villain in this game that has his shit together for the most part. Comparatively speaking. The comparison being fairly sad.
There’s no way they’re ever going to cooperate. Even if Harold walks in dragging a battleaxe to kill them. No, sir.
It’s not like there’s two separate crops of our guys dead popping up in completely separate areas at roughly the same time to tip us off.
“He rented You, Me, and Dupree. I don’t know about that one. Owen Wilson’s nose really weirds me out.”
There was some more about how Mendez like totally heard from Saddler that Salazar had a crush on Cindy of the Bella sisters but she’s like sooo in love with that Salvador guy. But OMG he’s been fooling around with Stacy Bella and like you just wouldn’t believe the rest.
Ehem. Leon leaves Mendez’s room behind him. Downstairs, he overhears two Ganado gabbing.
Not like there was an organized mob going apeshit in town a hour ago.
Ganado are weird.
At that same time, Ada arrives on the scene.
Leon slinks his way down the hall when.
Chief Mendez from fucking nowhere! Or he was hiding behind the door. Which in retrospective, is sort of silly.
“Young man, have you been smoking the reefer?”
“I saw you with that bass and the herbs in your inventory. I wasn’t born yesterday. I'm going to have to contact your parents.”
Mendez drops Leon
The Wisconsin blood runs strong through you.
Leon’s from Milwaukee.
Wedgies, swirlies, Indian rug burns, purple nurples. You don’t even want to know how far we’ll go.
Mendez storms off to writing a furious new entry in his journal
I’m an AB negative but I’m not positive.
In an act of remarkable retardation, Leon decides to give chase after the eight foot tall guy that just let him go.
He springs into action, hoping to take him by surprise.
Needless to say, Leon gets stomped. Literally, in fact.
“Now give me your lunch money.”
Just then, one of those jerks with a laser pointer gives Bitores some grief.
It might have been more effective if Ada hasn’t shot him in the shoulders.
The Big Cheese winds up to do what everyone just loves in this game. That’s right!
Haphazardly smash through a window.
Leon is left once more thankful yet another deus ex machina has saved his dopey arse.
Outside, Ada apparently came to the conclusion the roof wasn’t the best place to camp out against the local ogre and instead ran off in a dead end and is cornered by the spawn camping villagers.
She readies to begin kicking the cannon fodder’s ass when.
PLOT DEVICE’D!
Ada takes a dirt nap due to a well placed tranquilizer dart.
Dozens of completely fucked and crudely drawn hentai doujinshis are born from this grim situation as everything fades to black.
Just how many times exactly will Leon narrowly survive death only by the mean case of ADHD his foes seem to be afflicted with? What fate awaits the meeting of an unconscious spy girl and an eight foot tall man wearing only a trenchcoat? Where the hell did that marksman Ganado from that cutscene come from and disappear to? Tune in next time in Episode XI: The Update Before Del Lago
Bonus Content
We've finished Chapter 1-2! 
<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index