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Episode XII: The Creature of the Sapin Lagoon.
When last we left our adventurers, Ada was still MIA and Leon was devoured by a lake monster while doing what he loved most. Let’s back a minute in time and assume that Leon had not met such a dire and ironic fate.
Leon hops on the conveniently place motorboat by the dock. Despite the fact that he just saw there’s a gigantic lake monster and it might be in his best interest to just hike a mile or two around the lake.
Wait, nevermind. We’ve got fucking harpoons now. We’re game.
Smooth sailing for Mr. Kennedy.
Though, the game takes on a most peculiar change of pace at this point.
Yes, sir. Lake monster-smake monster.
FUCK BUNNIES!
The startled Leon and his boat let loose a toe line which just happens to get snagged on Del Lago. What are the odds?
Leaving the monster of the deep to have no choice but to begin a pattern based boss fight.
Luckily, the small one man motor boat is stocked with enough harpoons to take down Moby Dick.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the sense to evade the giant fuck-off pieces of debris floating about.
A grave mistake.
Though, easily remedied by mashing X or A like a motherfucker and hoping you had full health when that happened.
As, apparently small wooden boats give Del Lago indigestion and he will only subject himself to the finest free floating man meat.
A few more rounds of this and the beast starts taking it in the ass, like a man.
When suddenly, the boat comes to a stop and everything becomes eerily quiet. Until the indicator telling you the direction of the fuck off monster barreling towards you starts. But, it’s fairly serene before that..
The water based version of the vagina monster from Star Wars comes full force at him, open female genitalia at the ready. Leon only has one shot.
And it’s good! Not pictured: It’s good! Del Lago goes belly up with a might roar and descends into the murky depths.
Leon breaths a sigh of relief. It is short lived, however.
As he completely forgot that anchor that was hooked on the monster was apparently attached to his foot this entire time.
Tragically, the unseen force controlling him at the time was having a sip of Mountain Dew and munching on some Cheetos and Leon was dragged into the grimy deep.
Video
But for narrative’s sake, we’ll give him a mulligan.
“That’s the last time I try to anchor a boat with my leg.”
Disaster adverted, Leon heads for shore.
There, Leon feels himself overcome by pain.
What horrible evil is lurking within him?
Gingivitis!
He bursts into a nearby cabin, hoping desperately this savage reader and toilet using natives still perform proper dental hygiene.
To his horror, he comes to realize Bitores had the only bathroom in the tri-state area as he slips into unconsciousness.
With both our adventures passed out in assorted locations, what possible terrific adventures could ensue during their absences? Not a lot, actually. Tune in next time in Episode XIII: An Unlucky Number Indeed.
Bonus Content:
We’ve finished Chapter 1-3 and with it, the first chapter!
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