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Episode XVII – House of 1,000 Ganados.
Welcome back. When last we left our heroes, Leon’s support back home had proved to be utterly useless once more. Meanwhile, Ada acquired a new rifle for her arsenal she’s hiding somewhere in the slinky red dress she’s wearing. As well as suffered the rigors of workplace sexual harassment. With that said, let’s begin…
Leon leads Ashley to the nearby creepy house in an open field ripe for a siege.
“Guys, hurry up! The new Season of 24 starts any minute.”
Another crowd of Ganado bring up the rear. Despite Leon having cleared out the area behind him and every single way into the village impassable. Lousy NPCs and their ability to walk around linear paths. 
“When I say ‘three’, I want you to rush the group ahead. I’m going home.”
We’re totally Jilled.
No…don’t open…that door.
GAH FUCK! WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HATE MY EYE?!
<<< Rewind. Nice catch.
“Not like I’ve been stalking you and were watching you sleep because ha-ha. That would just be weird and creepy. Ha ha ha.”
“Ahh…sonar as well.”
“Didn’t notice you were a butterface.”
Let’s all just speak in the third person here on out.
"A virgin? Hahahaha."
"Hahahaha. Ohh." *whips a tear away*
Symptoms include: Headache, nausea, fatigue, cough, change in heartbeat, hyperventilation, loss of vision, loss of appetite, decrease in potency, and in rare cases tentacle monster explosion from cranium. Use plagas only as prescribed. Check with your doctor before beginning use. Do not use if pregnant or under the age of 12.
"The Ashley's ears sense something."
Can we borrow a cup of sugar?
There is a bit of confusion as to what direction that may be.
Luis puts on his game mustache.
And the party begins.
Tune in later for the exciting conclusion…at some point after 24. See the two hour/two night premier at 8:00/7:00 Central tonight on FOX.
Episode XVII – Act 2: The Siege
The Siege of La Casa de Los Muerto, while only lasting a few hours, proved to be one of the most deadly battles in the war and is noted to be a key turning point in the war effort’s tide. Losses for the Ganado battalion present were nothing short of catastrophic, while the Union effort saw little in the way of casualties. The following is a recount of that fateful day, as told by letters written by soldiers present the day of the battle.
The occupants of the small two story wood home were outnumbered and surrounded ten to one. Pinned down by fire from all directions, they found themselves forced to utilize whatever crude barricades could be fashioned from furnishings found within the structure. They knew this would be no match for the overwhelming force, but any second spared in infiltration would be one more preparing and strengthening their defenses. Failure here would mean certain death. A silent stand off soon overcame the future battlefield. That brief calm would be fleeting.
At early morning, the opening shots of the battle were fired at early morning. It is uncertain which side fired the opening volley. Nevertheless, the battle was soon underway.
After a short attempt at holding the line, the Ganado forces soon broke through and poured a wave of troops into the house, in hopes of bringing a swift end to the conflict before the enemy was able to regroup.
While casualties on the Ganado side were heavy, the full force barrage forced the retreat of the defenders to the second floor. With the few remaining occupants cornered, victory seemed in sight for the Ganado regiment.
No one could have expected the considerable amount of resistance delivered by the boxed in defenders. Losses for the Ganado side began piling and morale was quickly fading as wave after wave fell in battle.
Private Manuel J. Patterson of the Ganado 72nd Pueblo Volunteer Infantry Regiment had this to write prior to the siege.
To my dearest Gretchen,
I write to inform you I am well at present and miss you dearly. I am currently stationed a few miles north of Farm and will be going in to battle later tonight against the last of the resistance in this area. When we win, the war may end sooner than expected and I may be home to you before Christmas.
Our regiment is about 300 strong at present and will soon be full and I expect we will go into battle once the last reinforcements arrive.
I would love to be at home with my friends back at Pueblo. But so long as this war lasts and I remain in good health, I expect to stay in the service. Enjoy the Pleasures of Home & Friends and I will be home soon.
Love,
Private Manuel J. Patterson of the Ganado 72nd Pueblo Volunteer Infantry Regiment
Tragically, Private Manuel’s head was blown clean off in the battle’s opening phase.
Some time after the war, former General Bitores Mendez of the Ganado 72nd remarked that this battle may very well been the key point that lost the war for his side and regrets the great loss of life in the charge.
Over nearly as soon as it had began, the battle made waves across all lines, changing the tone of the war forever.
Tune in later for the exciting conclusion of this three part-mini series! Tonight, before 
Episode XVII – Act 3: Crossroads
Elsewhere, away from the horrors of war (as covered by Frank West.) Ada finds herself in yet another haphazardly designed Ganado township of sorts.
There’s a ton of supplies about, but little in the way of action.
Mostly. Another Gigante smashes onto the scene from the set-piece generator in the sky.
Luckily, this one didn’t think he was English nobility. Also, it’s ridiculously weak compared to any other Gigante encounter.
I see. So you saw my potential and decided to strike first against moi... Such wonderful intuition... Well played.
I've never even heard of you. It's only a coincidence that I’m here. You're just a tiny stepping stone on my path.
*gasp* How dare you! I am the...
Who gives a damn about you? Your new name is "Mid-Boss".
Unforgivable... That is unforgivable!!!!
Sadly, before the beast was able to mount a counterattack, a clogged artery from years of gorging on yodels caused a sudden and unexpected heart failure.
High five.
It really is nice of these monsters to follow the Diablo rules of cash piñata etiquette.
With the beast felled, Ada takes a hike from the scene.
Back at the house
The Ganado wander off. Despite being a horde of mindless kill drones with little sense of self preservation, they get bored really easily. Such trouble to find good minions these days.
Looks like my party has been cancelled again.
No, Luis!
There was something about an extraction point by helicopter. Come to think of it, they never actually told me where that was going to be. I hate my job.
Commander Wesker, where’s Chris?
Actually, Leon forgoes the accent on his name and just calls him Louis.
“Hehehe. Ballistics. Luis, you’ve got to remember that one.”
You know that random guy in college that would always come up to you on the sidewalk and ask to bum a smoke? This is what became of him.
“Right here, baby. You’re gonna have to reach in and get it.”
OK Luis. We get it. You’re a sleazy lady’s man. Or a repressed homosexual in denial. Give it a rest.
Ruby Tuesdays.
Also, what your parents did on weekends behind closed doors.
Luis wanders off on another of the blocked path circumventing paths taught to him by his grandfather. Or gets hopelessly lost in the woods for a few hours, considering we won’t see him for a while.
Ada just thanks he didn’t flash her. (Edit: Don't write these things at 3:00 AM while half asleep).
What did Luis forget? What is this sample everyone is after? How did Leon manage to miss Ada outside and how did Ada manage to miss that horde of Ganado just leaving the scene? None of these questions will be answered in Episode XVIII - A Tale of Two Chainsaws
Bonus Content
We finished Chapter 2-2! 
As well as Separate Ways Chapter 2!
Luis is a dick:
Video
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