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Episode XXIII – I Wear My Sunglasses at Night
Welcome back. When last we left our hero, Salazar had left Leon at the mercy of…more of the hundreds of Ganado he’d already slaughtered up to this point. Will Leon be able to escape the clutches of this new peril?
Yup.
There’s quite a few Ganado literally coming out of the walls here, but…nothing we’ve not seen. Leon heads upstairs to put an end to this nonsense.
Hey, watch it buddy. There’s steep fine and potential community service for false fire alarms.
Well, how is that going to warn people of a fire?!
“Crap Jim! Fire!”
“Ze missiles?”
“Enough with the Internet catchphrases.”
Luckily, the Ganado are none too skilled with their somewhat modern weaponry and simply aim directly for Leon, regardless of where he actually is, even right beneath them.
Leon kicks open a nearby room built specifically for…a vase. Now, this is just wasteful.
Oh, so it was a room built specifically for a button. Much more acceptable.
Now we’re back to wasteful.
Those crafty RPG jerks are back as soon as Leon waltzes back out.
This would have been a solid ambush, had automatic swinging doors made of titanium not been installed. Suckers. Sad thing is, the poor bastards become one shot kill unarmed affair after they pull their trump card.
The Zelda treasure box reveals Leon’s prize. One of those large missing emblem pieces from earlier. How Leon’s going to stuff that down his pants is his problem.
Load bearing key item, by the way. Releasing all the locks. Salazar’s kooky trap castle is just a gas.
I think the hallways and foyers are outnumbering the actual rooms at this point.
Though, the empty pointless rooms with a rug and a table slapped in are giving them a run for their money. Two doors here to choose from. Behind door number 2?
Finally! I’d wanted one of these since updates were in the single digits.
Being pulled off the team for the season, Leon heads outside via the other door.
Ramon is one big fan of second story water based arrangements. That fountain holds a nice helping of treasure, by-the-by.
There’s also a currently inaccessible area we’ll get back to later. Keep it in mind.
This has just been an action packed update, no?
What crazy trap filled castle would be complete without a hedge maze full of some unspeakable horrors?
A nearby door demands emblem satisfaction. That damned twit girl. Now where am I going to find a second person to show their ass for this?!
As Leon ponders this brain puzzler, Salazar gives another ring.
So he knows Leon is fucking around in his hedge maze but has to search around wildly for the girl he’s actually after who fell into the only trap in the house that actually captures people and doesn’t brutally kill them? Priorities are off here, little man.
Shrubbery?! You barbarian!
“Unless you have the ability to continue in a single direction touching the wall. Then I’ve got nothing.”
“In the prison sense of the phrase.”
“Wasn’t I with someone for a bit? I forget. Eh, I’m sure it’s not important.”
After talking to himself more for a bit, Leon heads down into the hedge maze apparently crafted by the Lady of Pain or something.
Since boredom kills me and a maze romp is about as fun as it sounds, this is a quick thumb through of what goes down here: 
Now, that wasn’t so bad.
I still say mooning it would have been an acceptable passage.
Leon heads on into the drafty new area.
Wesker is trying to get that nighttime sunglass sporting trend to catch on with his subordinates. He also wears a Members Only jacket to work.
Leon bashfully zips up.
Man-hand radio girls notwithstanding.
Leon with the shifty eyes.
“You sound tense.”
Man gives a rough massage.
Someone will buy this at a high price. *yank*
Trinit—err…Ada is not pleased.
Following up with slow motion flip number three.
“Hey…black panties…” 
The gun is knocked into the air. Also, slow motion.
Leon yanks out his knife. He now becomes a master with the blade from this point forward. He just never bothered to mention it or show it off at all.
“Wait, I’m not done staring at your undergarments!”
Ada activates the homing device on her pistol and ends her 20 second flip.
This is how Leon gets most of his dates.
Says the man who pushed over a barrel of gasoline and shot it while standing five feet away just a few hours ago…
I’d better not loose a clip on Separate Ways you prick! 
This is a shocking development! Assuming I’d not played a B game in Resident Evil 2, missed the epilogues in Resident Evil 3, didn’t watch any of the later trailers for Resident Evil 4, hadn’t played Separate Ways, and missed that one semi-hidden cutscene with Mendez earlier. But, assuming I’d missed all that… Woah! Who were you again?
Even Leon doesn’t bother being impressed.
Yes, Resident Evil 4. Glazing over as many series leftover plot points as it can muster.
Off camera, before the game began, not mentioned to this point homework.
*Shades drop*
“I’ll not be privy to your pedestrian need for character motivation.”
Is that “Good Bye” really necessary?
“I’ve got to find someone. He’s one of those reporter types, always looking for a scoop.”
“Running off like that was reckless AND stupid!”
“Man, why doesn’t anyone ever listen to me?”
So ends that compelling chapter of survival horror drama. Will something more interesting happen in the next chapter? Let’s hope in Episode XXIV: Tentacle Hentai
Bonus Content
We’ve finished Chapter 3-2! 
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