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Episode XLII: Alternative Uses of Helicopters
Welcome back, when last we left our hero, he had just concluded an epic struggle with his old sort of, kind of rival of some vague type. Shame he's dead already, formally introduced and killed off in the span of a single chapter section four-fifths of the way through the game and all. Oh well, with that said, let’s mosey…
The ruins explode in the distance behind Leon. Not heard or pictured, as it’s a bit hard to convey an off screen token explosion via text. Perhaps slamming your fist on your table and maybe splicing in a bit of rumbling sound from your throat will do the trick.
A few steps forward, Leon gets a buzz from bored old Osmund.
“I swear, if he made me watch Rambo: First Blood Part 2 with him another time, I just didn’t know what I was going to do.”
*throws hands up in the air* “Who in the blue hell was that guy?!”
Said in Saddler’s best DeNiro impression.
“I can’t even trust people from my own fictional sub-country, for god’s sake.”
“I was leaning towards a trip wire and an anvil. But, there was a possibility of painting a solid wall like a tunnel and have him run into it.”
And Saddler has been such a straight edge tactician up to this point.
“And Mendez, Salazar, Del Lago, three Gigantes, Todd, Gene and Bono, as well as ¾ of my general manpower.”
“Just disregard that note about finding loyal subordinates earlier. A guy that’s massacred nearly all of my forces and has been actively trying to kill me for the last 24 hours should work out fine.”
"A hair appointment on Tuesday!"
Las Plagas completely stops the ability to sass? Huh…interesting feature.
With that, Saddler hangs up and returns to waiting silently for the next chance to taunt Leon from the shadows. Or, over a walkie-talkie number he happened to steal.
A short pace up ahead, Leon finds a clusterfuck of Ganado gathered and actually setting up a competent defensive line. A bit astounding, I know.
This is cutscene Leon, so he can’t just lob a grenade and cause a chain reaction with the multitude of explosive barrels they also littered their line with. Things look grim…
Suddenly
Of all the times for the Rapture!
Oh yeah, by the way, Leon had a communicator headset in addition to the whole video radio thing. It was just never mentioned, needed, or displayed up to this point. It did, by no means, materialize by divine intervention just then for this sequence.
Oh, it’s a helicopter. Wait, what?!
I’m not even going to question how you found me in the middle of a moderately defended, remote, and for all intends and purposes abandoned island after losing communications with the command a good ten hours ago inside a castle who knows how many miles away on continental Europe. Forget all that. You’re…actually back-up…? You’re actually going to help me? With an attack chopper? You’re shitting me, right?
Shitting us, he is not.
Nearby, the Ganado apparently haven’t noticed the loud chopper with the searchlight beaming down just a good 50 yards down the road.
One does notice a nearby water tower support beam starting to buckle.
Due to a damned helicopter ramming it over!
*insert shrieking girlish scream*
The water tower comes tumbling down, crushing several Ganado and sending the rest into a panic, completely off guard by both the fact a large flying vehicle had snuck up on them and that it had chosen to open its offensive by pushing over a tower with its bulk to open up its offensive.
Completely ridiculous strategic tactic? Sure? The beginning of concentrated awesome?
Fuck yeah!
Leon is still in awe the people that couldn’t competently send him a ride out of dodge when his mission was completed 10 hours ago actually sent him air support.
Meet Mike, he pilots a helicopter, he blows shit up, and speaks with a stereotypical New York accent, and if we ever saw his face, I guarantee he’s wearing shades and an American flag bandana.
Mike flies off to continue kicking ass. Leon follows suit on ground. What follows is pretty much fifteen minutes of pure Ganado slaughter. I found it accurately displayed in pictorial fashion by this collage:
Slightly augmented version:
http://leonfuckyeah.ytmnd.com/
Elsewhere…
Ada is arriving a bit late to the party.
The man who wears sunglasses at night indoors in the dark gives a ring.
“My hairspray is about to lose its effect and you just know how frightfully frizzy it gets when that happens.”
“This guy dressed up like a pizza delivery boy from a trailer park came in and was yelled something about burning tacos. Next thing I knew, his fist burst into flames and bam. That was it.”
*while browsing Youtube* “Oh Jesus, nevermind. Why does he moan like a seal every time?”
“Saddler’s been eyeing him for a while now.”
You’d think Wesker would upgrade from cheap $10.00 sunglasses you’d find in a grocery store in the last six years.
“Or The Day After Tomorrow, that was just dreadful.”
Wesker reminds Ada one finally time of her goal, bringing the grand total up to roughly two dozen. He then returns to watching AMV’s on Youtube until the next sequel. See you there, Al, see you there.
Ada rushes to catch up to Leon, repeating the exact same course Leon did, minus explosions and chopper support.
Back to Leon…
Leon has just completed the American Gladiators-esque course and carries onward.
Augmented by pure patriotic spirit, Leon blazes forth.
Apparently, completely oblivious to the massive crowd circling in all directions ahead.
Cats : Nine Lives :: Leon : Deus ex Machinas
He had three days to retirement, you bastard!
“Were you not about to die in a fiery wreck in moments.”
“Hehe. Yeah... Wait, what?!”
“Well shit…in America!”
This series never cease to amaze me with the new angles it takes. It’s not as though a helicopter pilot had been killed or a helicopter crash at some point in Resident Evil 0, Resident Evil 1, Resident 2, Resident Evil 3: Nemesis, Resident Evil: Outbreak, Resident Evil Outbreak: File #2, and Resident Evil Survivor.
Police officers her spent several hours in a car driving out here with?
“Shit.”
Some guy he exchanged maybe a dozen or two lines of dialogue with and knew all of six or seven hours?
"Moderate dramatic name yelling."
A helicopter pilot he’d never seen, met twelve minutes earlier, and knew the name of for all of ten seconds before dying?
“Miiiiiiiiiiiike!”
You know, the tragic part as studying the recovered wreckage later came to reveal the chopper could have held its own against the RPG blast, had it not sustained severe underside damage by a collision tearing the underside of the chopper up earlier. Though, studies never concluded what the collision may have been.
“Come, Jones. Let us go play Guitar Hero.”
Poor Leon. He was so close to finally making a friend. 
Saddler calls in to gloat. As he obviously has nothing better to do at this point.
“…you’re call cannot be connected as dialed. Please hang-up and and try…”
Leon actually says “bastard” aloud here. I’m not sure why the subtitles didn’t include it. Probably the same reason they couldn’t run it through a basic spell checker.
It seems like Saddler’s trying to trivialize Mike’s death, but the kook actually calls a guy in with a rocket launcher for these situations.
“Unless they’re remotely tainted by mind controlling parasites or viruses. Then hell, genocide won’t make me bat an eye.”
“Basic reasoning skills will be a thing of the past!”
“That and a huge tax break.”
The real sad part, is Saddler is being quite sincere and wants Leon to succeed and free him from the parasites’ grip. He just has a most unfortunate way of speaking that make him sound like a sarcastic asshole constantly. It’s a real tragic subplot that they really ought to have developed more.
Will Leon avenge Mike and stop the Plagas curse? Can he manage to hold out much longer? And who is the dark figure that stalks Ada in the shadows? Tune in next time to find out in Episode XLIII: Big Things a Comin’
Bonus Content
Saddler Chit-Chat:
Video
This is not how you properly operate a helicopter:
Video
Miiiiiiiiiike!
Video
Filthy language:
Video
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