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Alton Plaza

Okay, when we last saw our favorite Junker, he'd just met Napoleon in Alton Plaza!

Let's ASK him something!

Sigh. POSSESSIONS > SHOW > JUNKER I.D.

Napoleon: But with that little walking trash can with you, you stick out like a sore thumb anyway. Everybody's probably figured it out by now.
Metal: Hey! Watch it!
Napoleon: So what'd you want me for?

ASK > ABOUT GIBSON

Oh, he didn't hear. Time to break the news.

TALK > ABOUT GIBSON

Napoleon: What? Gibson got killed? He said something about SNATCHERS being after him.

ASK > ABOUT GIBSON

Gillian: Did you notice anything unusal about Gibson lately?
Napoleon: Who knows? I didn't hear much from him for a while.

ASK > BUFFALO CUISINE RESTAURANT

Gillian: Gibson ate buffalo somewhere just before he was killed... any ideas?
Napoleon: ...follow his trail and use a little intuition.
Gillian: Do you know any places that serve buffalo?
Napoleon: Hmmm. Since that prohibition on shooting buffalo went into effect, almost nobody will touch the stuff. Well, I may have a few ideas, but I'm not a charity, you know.

Ugh!

POSSESSIONS > USE > CASH

Gillian: Here! Take it!
Napoleon: Well thank you.

ASK > BUFFALO CUISINE RESTAURANT

And it's called...?

Outer Heaven! Whaaaa?

ASK > OUTER HEAVEN

Napoleon: It's quite a famous hang-out in that particular industry. It's like a big masquerade party. Customers have to wear masks or whatever or they can't get in. That makes the place pretty popular with a lot of VIP's in a lot of high places.

ASK > OUTER HEAVEN > LOCATION OF CLUB

Oh, you greedy giant-headed asshole!

POSSESSIONS > USE > CASH

Gillian: You've really got nerve... take it!
Napoleon: As always, thanks so much. You'll be a good Junker one of these days.

ASK > OUTER HEAVEN > LOCATION OF CLUB

ASK > OUTER HEAVEN > ABOUT CLUB

Hmmm... Plato's Cavern, eh?

ASK > PLATO'S CAVERN

Napoleon: It's a black market where you can buy without a permit. They've got absolutely everything there. I think Gibson stopped by there quite a bit himself. Why don't you visit the place? You might find some leads.

ASK > PLATO'S CAVERN > LOCATION OF STORE

Napoleon: Where is it? There's a sign right over there. Check it out yourself.
Gillian: Why don't you ever tell me anything straight out?
Napoleon: Hmm. Why don't you take a good look around the area.

ASK > ABOUT NAPOLEON

Napoleon: That right [sic]... One of these days I'll tell you why I'm called Napoleon. So, would you mind letting me go for now?

We've got all we need.

SEND NAPOLEON HOME

Gillian: Thanks. I owe you one.

Let's fuck around some, shall we? First, let's call Konami!

USE METAL GEAR > VIDEOPHONE > CALL 34-5678

(This contains a minor spoiler - view at your own risk.)

Miss Hayasaka: Finally, Konami's famous "SNATCHER" will be released worldwide. We're so happy that Konami fans and fanatics will now be able to play this game. Although the characters in this game are all fictitious, after playing the game, I really felt that I new thae characters as real people. Also, this is the first game I've ever played that continueally gave me strong feelings, just like watching a great movie. Gillian Seed, a man without memories, the romance of all the beautiful women around him.  Also, that enigmatic Bounty Hunter, Random Hajile.  And who could ever forget Gillian's sidekick, Metal Gear mk II... I felt sad when things went bad for the characters and I also learned many things about love and friendship. I'm sure everyone has seen a movie, read a book, or heard music that stays with you and that you never forget. "SNATCHER" is that type of work. I hope it is for you too. I'm very grateful that I was able to meet all of you in this game and I want to continue helping to bring you exciting and moving software, so keep rooting for us. Bye bye now!

LOOKing at nearby people nets a few inane comments, as well as...

Metal: One should not keep an attractive woman like that waiting.

What the fuck is it with Kojima characters trying to get laid constantly?

Metal: Gillian! Wait!
Gillian: You stay here. I'll be right back.
Metal: Oh dear. There he goes... Oh, he's back. What happened?
Gillian: She gave me tissues. Three little packs..
Metal: I see. Passing out advertising, was she? Wait a minute... there's a videophone number printed on the back. 55-6666. It says "LoveLine".

I think we all know what I'm going to do next.

USE METAL GEAR > VIDEOPHONE > CALL > 55-6666

Christy: That's an interesting name. What is it?
Gillian: (mumbles)... fictional...
Christy: What did you say?
Gillian: I, I, I said its... Phoenician.
Christy: Oh come on. What's your real name?
Gillian: It's Gillian.
Christy: Oh Yeah?!? How did ya finally get off that island?
Gillian: No, I said Gillian!
Christy: I'm just teasing ya honey. So what did you call for?

Now we can choose LOVE or CONVERSATION. I think we know what to choose.

LOVE

Christy: So, you're interested in "Love", huh?
Gillian: Yeah, that's right. Very interested, if you know what I mean.
Christy: Oh yeah. I know what you mean. You want "LOVE", don't you?
Gillian: YEAH, YEAH. LOVE, LOVE. Do you know where I can get some?
Christy: Sure, baby, I know where you can get some. The question is how bad do you want it?

(Screenshot included to prove I'm not making this up.)

Christy: How bad is bad?

...None of us needed that visual, Gill.

Christy: O.K., I get it. Anyway, if you want the real thing, I'll give you another number to call, o.k.?
Gillian: Yeah, O.k. And I can get the kind of Love I'm looking for there?
Christy: Oh yes. You'll never feel so loved. The number is 39-6004.

And with that, the call ends.

CALL > 39-6004

What?! Fuck you Mr. Vif! I'm calling back!

CALL > 55-6666

Christy: Hi. I'm Christy. What's your name, honey?
Gillian: Hi Christy, I'm Gillian.
Christy: Oh come on little buddy, you know you didn't call for a conversation. You should at least be honest with yourself.
Gillian: Well... I suppose you're right about that.
Christy: Sure I am. If you aren't honest with yourself, you'll lose touch with reality.
Gillian: Wow. That's truly profound. By the way, what do you look like? What are you wearing?

Ok, I'm embarrased for Gillian on that. Hey, it was the early 90's when this game came out! Give him a break!

What a ho-bag! I'm calling back!

CALL > 55-6666

Vangie: How can I help you?
Ian: Huh? Isn't this the Loveline?
Vangie: Yes it is.
Ian: Well, then aren't you going to say some provocative come-ons or some semi-lewd half-refences?

Unfortunately, the number is disconnected if you call again. Let's reload a save state and say we want conversation... but that turns out to fast-forward us to the "honesty" speech Christy gave us earlier.

Alright, Junkers, here's the deal. I've already given you all you need to find Plato's Cavern, where we need to go next.

Anyone feel like solving the puzzle and telling me how to get there?


Bonus Post by Gillian Seed


"Well, well.... what do we have here?"

Desty posted:

Big Important Plot Speculation:  All of this suggests something even worse, though. New Kobe is quarantined because it's been showing snatcher infestation. Gillian, who's set up to be/possibly be a snatcher, has his profile locked beyond access even for the chief of the anti-snatcher forces. Katrina, who probably is a snatcher, has strange non-public information included in her official government profile. It's like someone's planned all of this...  


Me, a Snatcher!? No way! Trust me when I say that I'm positive that I've got all the necessary parts in the right places, and it's not like I'm the type to burn either.

Though I do wonder why my and Jamie's profiles are locked down with such high security... There must be something behind this, just something... If only I could remember my past, perhaps I could unravel this mystery... I guess I don't have much choice until I do...

I guess I have to go to Plato's Cavern... er, where's that again?


Bonus Post by Gillian Seed


"Well, well.... what do we have here?"

Musical Bee Swarm posted:

  I noticed that, but it doesn't seem to me that the blood would really be necessary for them unless employing the skin made it so. Or perhaps Gillian can't be injured at all in the factory and is just making it seem like he is

Sheesh, everyone's so distrusting of me. I get the point that we need to be paranoid because anyone can be a Snatcher, but aren't we pushing it a bit here? Surely no Junker could be a Snatcher. Besides, shouldn't my allergies be evidence enough?

I would think Snatchers can bleed because if they didn't, we could simply cut people on the arm in order to see if they're a Snatcher instead of being forced to use warrant-issued full body scans, not to mention standard blood/ DNA testing. If a Snatcher never sweated during hard labor, it'd be obvious too... If we could do unwarranted scanning this would be alot easier, but sadly we can't. But the Snatchers' critical flaw in their skin and their need for treatment could be our chance to finally take care of them once and for all.


Bonus Post by The Script

INT. KOJIMA'S OFFICE - NIGHT

HIDEO KOJIMA, brilliant game designer, works on the script to Snatchers 2. His
office is wallpapered with DESIGN NOTES, ranging from character biographies to
sketches of snatchers ripping a hapless human apart. CHIBI DOLLS of his most famous
characters, Solid Snake, a Metal Gear, and Gillian Seed, watch him from the top of
his computer monitor.

An OFFICE INTERN, male, 20s, THROWS the office door open. He is visibly shaken and
dripping with sweat.

INTERN
(panting)
Honorable Game Designer Master! We have a type B Nimrod Crisis!
You must hurry!

Hideo's eyes WIDEN at the implication. He BOLTS out of the office.

INT. KOJIMA COMMAND CENTER - NIGHT

A dedicated crew of ENGINEERS sit at a bank of supercomputers and analyze data.
A giant FLATSCREEN MONITOR displays a post from GILLIAN SEED on the Something Awful
Forums.

The engineers notice Hideo enter and they throw themselves on the ground, groveling
at the feet of the master.

HIDEO
This is no time for etiquette! Get back to work!

The engineers jump back in their seats. Hideo places himself in the COMMAND CHAIR.
The intern stands by his side.

HIDEO (CONT'D)
What do we have so far?

INTERN
Approximately one hour ago, our Metal Spider program detected a possible Type
B Nimrod crisis. It narrowed in and focused on this poster from a popular
message board.

HIDEO
Gillian Seed.

INTERN
Yes. We've been running the datamining algorithms to verify it, but it appears
that it's really him.

HIDEO
After all these years...do you think he even suspects the truth?

INTERN
No. From all indications, he's still trying to solve Snatchers 1.

HIDEO
We can't let him get away again...If Snatchers 2 is to become a success, then
we must capture Gillian at any cost!

INTERN
Who should I send? A snatcher disguised as a friend?

HIDEO
He is too clever for that. He probably knows all the tricks from his game. Get
me...REVOLVER OCELOT.

The engineers and intern GASP.

HIDEO
What? You guys all know him. He did all those gun tricks for the Christmas
party.

INTERN
It's not that...we're still trying to figure out how you speak in all caps.

HIDEO
And that is why you will never design a brilliant game like me! Now, Slowbeef,
continue to post! It pleases me.

Hideo turns to stare at the screen, which zooms in on GIllian Seed's avatar. MOVE
IN on the screen, until we can only see blurred pixels

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. BLANK WHITE SPACE

CHIBI SOLID SNAKE, REVOLVER OCELOT and METAL GEAR MK 2 rush in and bow comically.
They speak in high pitched, child like voices.

CHIBI REVOLVER OCELOT
Howdy Partners! I'm awfully excited! I get to shoot Gillian soon!

CHIBI METAL GEAR MK 2
Hey! Gillian's a lot tougher than you think! He blew up 35 insectors without
missing a shot!

CHIBI REVOLVER OCELOT
Yeah, but he got shot and had to use nanomachine medicine! In my day, we had
walk uphill ten miles through the snow for a dirty band aid and we liked it!

CHIBI METAL GEAR MK2
So what, old man? You're just an old fart who should be in a home. Go to bed
already! Besides he got shot because he wanted to please his fans.

Chibi Revolver Ocelot storms off, angry.

CHIBI SOLID SNAKE
Metal Gear...?! What is...Metal Gear?

CHIBI METAL GEAR MK2
I am!

CHIBI SOLID SNAKE
But...can love...blossom on a...battlefield?

CHIBI METAL GEAR MK2
Uhh...if you tell the audience what happens next time, I'll give you a brand
new codec!

Chibi Solid Snake's eyes GLISTEN with joy.

CHIBI SOLID SNAKE
Next time on Let's Play Snatchers! Gillian learns more about the snatchers and
the joy of buffalo meat. Also, Revolver Ocelot is put on his trail. Will they
meet and shoot it out? Find out in...Episode 2: ANGEL/BUFFALO WINGS


Bonus Post by Random Hajile


Gillian Seed posted:

Sheesh, everyone's so distrusting of me. I get the point that we need to be paranoid because anyone can be a Snatcher, but aren't we pushing it a bit here? Surely no Junker could be a Snatcher. Besides, shouldn't my allergies be evidence enough?



Can't really argue with that. If Snatchers had an allergic reaction to Snow9, they'd never stop sneezing. It'd make tracking 'em down a hell of a lot easier, that's for sure.

Gillian Seed posted:

I would think Snatchers can bleed because if they didn't, we could simply cut people on the arm in order to see if they're a Snatcher instead of being forced to use warrant-issued full body scans, not to mention standard blood/ DNA testing.

Even if that did work, I'd be pretty sure you'd need a warrant just the same. Which do you think people would object to more? A quick scan, or cutting 'em to see if they bleed?

Gillian Seed posted:

I guess I have to go to Plato's Cavern... er, where's that again?

Sheesh, what kind of Junker are you? They have an ad on the billboard right in front of you in Alton Plaza. Maybe you should give 'em a call for directions?


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