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All right, you impatient apes. Here, let's watch the fool of humanity try and find Katrina Gibson. He can only go to Junker H.Q., his apartment, and Alton Plaza. And since humans aren't that stupid, he knows she's probably not at Junker HQ.

Alton Plaza

Metal: Let's look for Katrina.

For once, instead of a Jingle Bells remix, the music is Katrina's theme.

SEARCH FOR KATRINA

Gillian: All right, let's try the night life district. Metal, we've gotta find her!
Metal: Don't worry, Gillian! She won't get past my sensors!

[pause]

Gillian: This is no good. I don't see her anywhere.
Metal: She does not appear to be here.

SEARCH FOR KATRINA

Out of ideas already, Seed?

Metal: Gillian, she'd never be able to hear you in this crowd.

LOOK > DOWNTOWN

Metal: We would have a hard time finding Katrina here even if she was around.

LOOK > DOWNTOWN

Metal: The Christmas mood gets jollier every time we come here.

LOOK > NEARBY PEOPLE

Gillian: What? You see Katrina?
Metal: Oh, sorry. It was somebody else.

It amuses me to see them waste their time while our agents track down Gibson's daughter. Her snatch will be a sight to behold!

...

RETHINK > HOW TO PHRASE THAT

INVESTIGATE > NEARBY PEOPLE

Metal: With all these people here, it will be quite difficult to locate her. Katrina does not seem to be here. Let's look elsewhere.

ENTER TURBOCYCLE

Gillian: I don't see Katrina anywhere. Let's look somewhere else.

Giving up already, Seed? We thought so.

GILLIAN'S APARTMENT

Gillian: Let's go, Metal!
Metal: Understood. Setting course for your apartment...

EXIT TURBOCYCLE

Metal: This is your apartment.

Gillian's Apartment

LOOK > GILLIAN'S ROOM

Metal: It's hard to tell from here, but the lights are definitely on.

LOOK > GILLIAN'S ROOM

Metal: Somebody appears to be in the apartment.

INVESTIGATE > GILLIAN'S ROOM

Metal: I can't limit the movement sensor to just your apartment.
Gillian: What about your infra-red sensor?
Metal: I don't read anything. Apparently nobody is near the window.

INVESTIGATE > DOOR

Gillian: Metal, check the status of the door of my apartment from here.
Metal: All right. Now accessing the building's security system... Gillian. It's open.
Gillian: What?! I know I locked that before I left!

MOVE > GO INSIDE

LOOK > AROUND ROOM

Metal: Nobody appears to be in this room.

LOOK > AREA

Metal: There are some faint depressions in the carpet that would indicate footprints.

INVESTIGATE > AROUND ROOM

Metal: Nothing seems to have been stolen.

INVESTIGATE > AREA

Metal: I read no movement in this room.

INVESTIGATE > FOOTPRINTS

LISTEN

Metal: The sound seems to be coming from the bathroom.

SMELL

Gillian: Hmm? What's that smell?
Metal: A SNATCHER?
Gillian: I'm not sure, but I've smelled that before somewhere...

MOVE > ENTER BATHROOM

Gillian: Hmm? It's really hot and humid in here...

LOOK > AROUND ROOM

Metal: There is something in the shower!!

LOOK > SHOWER BOOTH

Metal: The electronic blinds of the glass door prevent identification of whatever is in the stall.

INVESTIGATE > AROUND ROOM

Metal: I read movement! There's movement in this room.

INVESTIGATE > SHOWER BOOTH

Metal: My thermo sensor shows a region of concentrated heat. I would say that hot water is being used.

INVESTIGATE > SHOWER BOOTH

Metal: I read movement from within the stall.

INVESTIGATE > SHOWER BOOTH

Gillian: Should we go after it?
Metal: That would be a very dangerous move if it's a SNATCHER

INVESTIGATE > SHOWER BOOTH

OPEN BOOTH

...

You human beings make no sense whatsoever. The original MSX and PC Engine versions of this game didn't have Katrina's nipples showing through the towel. Yet, you removed the bra and panties that were in the room from the original version! (You can sniff them, too.)

And why is Gillian to blame? She broke into his apartment!

And why would Metal Gear have any interest-

Ugh. This is why we want to destroy video games. We were going to snatch Jack Thompson, but we find him too distasteful to develop artifical skin for.

INVESTIGATE > BATH TOWEL

Gillian: I'm going to need to check out your towel...
Katrina: Don't you ever quit!? I know what you have in mind!

INVESTIGATE > BATH TOWEL

Gillian: I'm going to need to check out your towel...
Katrina: Stop teasing me, Gillian.

LOOK > KATRINA'S FACE

Gillian: (I'm starting to get warm all over...)
Katrina: Do I have a big zit on my face or something?

TALK > ABOUT ALICE

Katrina: What's wrong with Alice?
Gillian: You see, Alice is...

EVISCERATED BY US!

Metal: Gillian!!
Gillian: Um, uh...
Katrina: What's wrong?
Gillian: Forget it. I'll tell you later.
Katrina: You're weird.

ASK > ABOUT VIDEOPHONE

Gillian: About that phone call... would you tell me what that was all about?
Katrina: That's right! When I was straightening up the living room, I found this inside that model of our house.
Metal: Oh yeah, there was a model of Gibson's house on the shelf, wasn't there.

Metal: It appears to be a list of illicit medical facilities. It lists the name of the hospital, its director's name, its address and area of specialty.
Gillian: Well then the SNATCHER's place, the one Gibson found, must be on the list!
Metal: So that's what that "Search the house" note that Gibson left meant.
Gillian: He was just a little too clever this time...
Katrina: Will this list be of any help?
Metal: This list has over 3,000 places listed on it. We could never hit them all. We need some other information to narrow it down.
Gillian: What about the image from Little John's memory? That should be the key!
Metal: If you type in the name of the hospital, I'll scan the list for you.

First, Seed decides to engage in more Bacchanalian procedure.

ASK > AGE

Gillian: How old are you, Katrina?
Katrina: I turned 18 this year.
Gillian: Oh really? (Jeez, I can't believe how quick kids grow up these days...)
Katrina: Even so, I'm pretty old for a model.
Gillian: (Oh great, so what does that make Jamie?)

ASK > HOSPITAL LIST

Gillian: Do you know anything about this list of hospitals?
Katrina: I've never seen it before. But if my dad kept it in the house model, it must have been really important.

INVESTIGATE > HOSPITAL LIST

INVESTIGATE LIST

Metal: All right, Gillian. Let's see if we can find the SNATCHER'S hospital on this list.
Gillian: What about that hospital that was in Little John's memory.
Metal: Why don't you give a name similar to the one on that sign. Give me a name along the lines of the one on the sign.
Gillian: The sign said "Oleen" didn't it.
Metal: Input the name of the hospital that you want to search for.

This puzzle was already solved by a breather earlier, but I think that's enough update for you humans.

Bonus Post by Gillian Seed

"Well, well.... what do we have here?"

SpazmasterX posted:

Hey, Seed! Was "her snatch a sight to be behold?"

I have no comment on the subject. I think Jamie is starting to monitor my posts guys gotta keep it on the low

also Snatchers

Felt Tip Hat posted:

In Japan, germs are dehydrated- sudden contact with water causes you to get sick immediately!

Her cold water merely let loose the fury of the ages that has been building up in my sinuses ever since I came to Neo Kobe. All that Snow-9 gets to you.

Bonus Post by Metal Gear

This is SomethingAwful.com

sunpocket posted:

What was with your gasp and the robogasm noise Metal made? The awkward pause after she takes off her hair towel and then your reactions all add up to creepy...

My personality is programmed to adapt to Gillian's, I was just trying to add to the mood.

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