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fuck body
You're one twisted Mofo. The only other person I know who would try that is Mark Croew.

What!? Oh like you weren't thinking it too.




Once the homing signal is turned off, I'm sure there'll be nothing to worry about.


Aaaagh! You fall to the bottom of a concealed pit. You might have survived the fall had you not come in contact with the several 30 centimeter spikes planted vertically at the bottom of the pit.


Holy jeez, boy! That mushroom thing sucked you clean up! You can't move a muscle nor see a single speck of light.

You begin feeling waves of tingling, warmth, and moisture. Suddenly, it's not so bad in here. Wow, check out the colors, dude.

Your body and mind enjoy the short-lived buzz that is the side-effect of the lethal poison you now marinate in. You are oblivious to the end, not a bad way to go, actually.

But it sure is early in the game. I had high hopes for you. They said "Why? Son of Bug Jug? No way, that chump won't last twenty minutes!"

I said "No way, Son of Bug Jug isn't THAT lame!" So anyway, don't make ME look stupid TOO.


Who cares?


(sigh)




Oh come on - if I see ONE MORE naked hog-tied midget today I'm going to fuckin' scream.


Before disappearing through a tiny hole in the brush, the little creature gives you a long glance.

Take a picture, it'll last longer.


You seem to have kicked on of these strange little spores.

Your kick caused some spores to open and spray a fine powder into the air. As a result, you are paralyzed from head to toe, unable to move a single muscle.


Okay, one more time being a little more careful.


Good. You've managed to establish contact with one of these planets life forms, and it looks like you'll get to examine it up close and personal. The giant root-looking thing is giving you a guided tour of its digestive system.

What you experience next is too horrible to describe. Let's just say that you die as a result. You are dead. Trust me.

It may please you to know that, during the night, you didn't digest well. For a while, gastric distress made it extremely unpopular with the other root monsters.

Another sensless tragedy. You can help prevent this. Vote Yes for lobotomies for Adventure Game designers. Thank you for playing Space Quest II, Son of Bug Jug. You've been most entertaining.


Some careful maneuvering to grab some berries, and then back out the same way. Notice the little naked freak grabbing some berries too.


You drop the order form into the box.

The mailbox hums and buzzes for a while. Then an object of some sort drops into the tray at the base of the box. The machine goes silent.

The whistle is usual looking.

Dropping the order form into the mailbox nets us the whistle. In the future, snail mail will be faster than all the the Internet's tubes.


You see a small fleshy being. He appears to be rubbing something on his body.

Oh come on... At least hide behind a bush if you're going to do that.


You feel something slimy clamp down on your leg and pull you beneath the surface! You struggle in vain to free youreslf. Unfortunately your desire to breathe results in an intake of a large quantity of swamp water. If the lack of oxygen hadn't killed you, the taste of the putrid water would have.


Maybe the little pervert was on to something? Bow-chicka-wow-wow.






You take the glowin gem

It's almost certainly probably not radioactive.

Maybe this is like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade?

You smoothly step off the edge of the fissure. Gravity has its way with you, and you are sucked to the depths of the fissure at a very high rate of speed. Needless to say, you hit the bottom and your mortal remains are redimensioned to the point where life is no longer an option. Will you never learn?


This tree is dead, and seems to be free of the slick secretions some of the other ones generate. You begin to shimmy your way up the snag.

CRACK!!!

OOOFF!!!

Holy log-jams, Batman! You almost ate the big one!


Nothing left but a nice relaxing stroll through the woods.


...Aw crap...

Xythar posted:

Also, did you take a screenshot of how in the swamp, if you find the deep part and type "dive" your character dives without taking a breath and drowns immediately?


You can't go on. You don't have enough oxygen in your lungs. You panic. The need for oxygen causes you to become irrational.

Your desire for air causes you to inhale large amounts of water, causing suffocation.

Fillerbunny posted:

I seem to remember that if you try to climb the big tree in the foreground here, you'd be eaten alive by some ants or something...?


This is as uncool as uncool can be. You've adhered yourself to this tree like a fly to flypaper. And speaking of insects, here comes a swarm now.

You'll be proud to know that you have filled today's nutritional requirments for many of the local carniverous insects. Adventuring is not always pretty.


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