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Here it is - the final update for SQ5.


W-D40 : My calculations indicate the Goliath will be in visual range in approximately 10 seconds.,
Wilco : Cloak the Ship.
Cliffy : Yes, captain. Right away.








Wilco : Oh really? Like what?
Cliffy : Well, our scans show that the mutated crew of the Goliath is not spread evenly through the various sections of the ship as it normally would be...
Cliffy : The engineering spaces are almost completely deserted, for example.
Wilco : So?
Wilco : Well, if you were to enter the ship at that location, you would stand a good chance of getting aboard undetected...
Wilco : By saying "You." You pretty much mean "Me," don't you, Cliffy?
Cliffy : Of course, sir. Once you got aboard, you could sneak up to the bridge power conduits and shut off the goliath's shields.
Wilco : What good would that do?
Cliffy : Well, maybe W-D40 could beam over and incapacitate the crew. Then I could zip on over and set something up like we did for the ambassador with their transporter.


Off to become a hero, once again.


When in doubt, go in ass-first.




Sneaky sneaky!

Replace the Warp Distributor cap that Beatrice took.

The warp distributor cap snaps into its receptacle with a quiet click and the Goliath's star drive reawakens from its slumber...


And now for the Goliath Maze - apparently the Two Guys from Andromeda really really really hate the people who play their games.


This is the part of the game where you spend hours crawling around through dozens of identical screens, trying in vein to remember the days when games were supposed to be "fun"...


... Thankfully the monotony is occasionally interrupted by the sweet release of death.




Eventually, if you wander around enough, you'll find the shield deactivation switch - clearly labeled for our conveniece.


Yoink!


Wilco : I won't go down without a fight, Quirk! I know Kung Fu, Karate, Tae Kwon Do, Judo, and several other chinese words!
Quirk : There's no escape for you this time, young broom jockey. Your fate is sealed.
Wilco : Not this time, Quirk, now the foot's in the other shoe! You're toast!









Cliffy : Hide over there behind the bulkhead and give me a signal as soon as the puloids are in position.




Wilco : But what about Quirk? He's not here.


Wilco : I'm all right, Flo. We managed to cure what's left of the Goliath's crew, but there's no sign of Quirk.
Flo : Wait!... Captain, I've just detected a shuttle launch from the Goliath.






Wilco : Uh-oh. This looks bad, very bad. I think we're in trouble.






Wilco : Fire!
Droole : Aye, sir.
Droole : De-cloaking, sir. Locking weapons...
Droole : EAT PLASMA BLOB-FACE!


Fire on the blob, and then suck it up with the Garbage-sucker-thingie.


Droole : We're losing power, sir. The ship's going to fall apart any minute!
Wilco : Abandon ship!
Flo : You don't have to tell me twice, I'm outta here!






With the crew safely off the ship, we set it to self-destruct using the handy egg-timer.

Let Beatrice out of the BDSM chamber...

Wilco : Not much... Except that the Eureka has sucked up a giant pukoid blob creature and is about to self-destruct.
Beatrice : That's nice...
Wilco : I think you're still a bit woozy, Bea.
Beatrice : Whatever you say, dear.






Finally, a use for that spare fuse we picked up at the beginning of the game!





Wilco : I'm not sure if the transporter is working right. You better go first Bea.
Beatrice : Oh Roger, you're so self-sacrificing.


Wilco : Good. She didn't get killed. I guess the transporter checks out.


Grab spike before tranporting out for the final 10 pointes. Once again - Perfecten Scoren. That's German.






[i]Droole : You deserve most of the credit, Sir.
Flo : Yeah, without you we'd never have beat those puked out mutants!
Beatrice : Oh Roger, you're the greatest! I can't believe I ever doubted you!
Wilco : Lay in a course for Starbase 22 Droole. Prepare to make the jump to heinous speed.
Droole : Buckle up everybody!
Wilco : Engage!








I think a couple people may have missed the idea that Quirk wasn't just a bumbling officer who became evil because of the slime - he was dirty the entire time...




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