Wilco : Thank you, my good man.
Wilco : Yikes!! I hope everything came out with me.
Looking at the bike on the right... Upon closer inspection you notice some sort of ID card hanging on the frame.
Okay, take the ID Card.
Upon grabbing the ID card, you notice the picture on it is of a rather homely-looking alien type. Guess everyone can't be as fortunate as you.
Luckily there's a photo booth nearby. Narrator : You pop a coin in the slot and climb on in.
Wilco : All right! I'm looking pretty good, fire away!
Wilco : There's got to be an optics problem with that machine. I look, uh, partially digested.
Another person enters the machine... (Chewing, Slurping, and Belching noises)
Narrator : Good thing you didn't opt for that second set of prints after all. Guess that guy won't be filing any complaints with the Portable Business Association.
Wilco : In disguise? Yeah, you do look disguised. I just don't know what like. Hey, here's a tip. Think seriously about a flea dip.
Blaine : I could really use your help gettin' this one. I've had a helluva time trackin' him down.
Blaine : You've gotta help me. Tell you what. If you can find and immobilize this bionic beer opener, it's worth fifty buckazoids to ya! What do you say to that?
Blaine : I've scoured this dung heap and haven't seen synthetic hide nor hair of him. All that's left to check is that bar. I'd go in there myself, ya' see, but I've had a little misunderstanding with the management. No biggie. I'm sure it'll blow over soon.
Blaine : Anyways, can you help me out? Whaddaya say? Fifty buckazoids. And if you don't mind me sayin' it, you look like you could use it. So how about it?
Wilco : Well, I don't know. What's this endodroid thing look like? And why do you want it?
Blaine : Well, he's about your height, only maybe a few inches higher.
Blaine : And I'd say about your weight, give or take 60 pounds or so. But then, that's just probably because of that stuff he's made of. Kind of a liquid metal thing, but that's not important. He's got a crewcut and I think he was wearin' a long dark coat. Has a strange accent.
Wilco : But why do you want him?
Blaine : Oh, he made some people mad.
Wilco : How?
Blaine : Oh, I guess he sort of jumped out of his program and kind of killed and/or mangled a score or so of co-workers and, more importantly, management personnel. A big no-no.
Blaine : No big deal. I just got to take him in for analysis and processing. It could help pull me out of my, uh, unfortunate cash flow situation. And most importantly, it can mean fifty buckazoids for you. Whaddaya say?
Wilco : Well, I could use the buckazoids. I'll see what I can do.
Blaine : Great! You won't regret it. You're gonna need this datacorder. It's been modified to only be sensitive to certain unique components like droidium, something only an endodroid would be composed of. This'll help you root him out. Good luck! Uh, I mean, let me know when you've got him.
Blaine : Thanks. I've gotta go check in with the home office. I'll check back out here a little later to see how you're comin' along.
Trying to kick-in this locked door.
Narrator : Well, that wasn't too bad for a borderline physical specimen like you. It didn't quite get the job done, though.
Narrator : Nah, you still haven't convinced the door to yield to your obvoiusly superior physical presence.
Narrator : Wow. You really did it. Not exactly the subtlest of entry techniques, but effective. That's pretty macho for the likes of you. Who would've guessed you'd have the makings of a Starsky or a Hutch or a Tango or a Cash.
Through the (formerly) locked door...
Oooooh noooooo, I'm sooooooo scaaaaaaaaared.
OH NO! I'M SO SCARED!
Endodroid : Yeah, that is a great imporovement. Look much better now.
Narrator : Well, he did warn you!
Okay, we'll try that again. This time just grabbing the pipe from the ground and leaving - with all my organs in their original configuration.
Weeeeeeee!
Flash my totally cool ID badge to scare off this rabble.
And then grab the hoses from their hookah.
Narrator : Well, at least one part of that dream came true. You are a janitor. You rehook the hoses to create one long one.
Accidentally using the hand icon on the safety rail.
Drag the canister from the hookah table and hook it up to this conveniently placed pipe.
Trying to steal some buckazoids off the waitress-bot's tray.
Luckily the second attempt is more succesful.
Narrator : You snag a buckazoid off the watron. How cool you are.
Flash my super-cool ID card again, this time to the bartender. Wilco : What have you got?
Bartender : Well, aside from the obvious stuff which is glaring in your face from the back wall here, I do make some mixed drinks. I mean, if I do say so myself I make a pretty mean William Gibson, and a pretty good Asimov Cocktail, you know what I mean, huh? Hey, try a Fuzzy Toejam. They seem to be very popular with your, uh, species.
Bartender : I got just the thing for you guys. It's something I don't even give the regulars here. Whaddaya think, eh?
First order a Fuzzy Toejam just for the points, and then order a "Special". Bartender : Okay, comin' right up, Chief. Listen, this'll take a couple of minutes, but, feast your eyes on the makin' of it, all right?
Wilco : Oh, that's just fine. Take your time, my good man.
See, the thing is that you order a "Special" in order to distract the bartender so you can sneak behind the bar - he'll be too busy making it to yell at you. You never actually receive the special drink.
While behind the bar you steal an ice tray from the fridge, and test a couple beer nozzles (a full one just for points), and then snap off the empty one.
Narrator : With a flick of your very supple wrist, you pull the conduit loose from below the valve. Ooops.
Then you take your Voltronesque hookah hose, and connect the empty/snapped beer nozzle to that pipe over to the left...
WHY did we do this?! Stay tuned and find out, you adorably impatient little muchkin, you.
The Dark One posted:
I can't remember if the game gives you any funny messages for trying to look/touch/talk etc with the bar flies. Please post any that are clever enough!
1
Eyes : So, this is where Sinead O'Conner's been hanging out.
Hands : Geez, Roger. When will you learn? In the past, that kind of behaviour has led you to being sliced, diced, compacted, compressed, pureed, digested, inverted, carbogelatinized and other stuff just as interesting. It's a little early in the game to be getting your can creased.
Mouth : She acts as though you don't exist. It's a familiar feeling.
2
Eyes : Looks like this big furry dude is laying out his best Orlonian pick-up lines for the ice queen. It appears she's not fielding an of them.
Hands : I wouldn't. He's busy trying to score. And he's a lot bigger than you. You figure out the consequences of that.
Mouth : Their conversation continues uninterrupted by you.
3
Eyes : Impressed by his own perceived magnificence, this wannabe babe magnet stands out and just radiates "cool".
Hands : Oh, he's real, unfortunately.
Mouth : Can't you see he's working the room here? He's expecting a babe stampede any minute now. His lifespan, no matter how long, will never be enough. But, hey, a guy can dream.
4
Eyes : Yikes! I'll bet even old Fester Blatz hasn't seen one of these.
Mouth : Your words cause everything to become speechless. How dynamic of you.
5
Eyes : You recognize the uniform of the Phistal Hemisphere Alliance.
Hands : You're in a public place. Have some manners!
Mouth : No one here is interested in conversing with you. Get used to it. Don't take it personally. Maybe it is just a species thing.
6
Eyes : This guy has an interesting cranial configuration.
7
Eyes : Unlike that popular trunk-bearing pachyderm on that planet Earth, this guy seems to actually be drinking through his trunk. That means he's drinking through his nose! Yuck!
8
Eyes : This rather large individual with the headphones seems to have tuned this place out.
