<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index




Cyberspace by way of MC Esher.

Grab the screwdriver from the ground, and then grab the plank...

Narrator : Guess I was wrong. It does fit. There must be plenty of spare room in there.


Here inside the building from the construction site is one of the stupidest puzzles I can even imagine. Seriously - I know I've said that a lot in this thread, but this one... This one...

See the "Take-a-Number" and the "Now Serving" sign over on the right? The 'joke' is that you have to take the number 3, but Sis Inny won't help you because they're serving number 4.

But instead of, y'know, taking the number 4 (which is just sitting there once you take away 3) and stuffing it up her ass...

...you actually have to use the screwdriver to h4x0rz the Now Serving sign to show 3.


Wilco : As a matter of fact, I do possess that number. Read it and weep, Pixel Woman.
Sis Inny : Oh, no, you can't possibly...
Sis Inny : Oh. Well, I guess you're right.
Wilco : You bet your palette, little 32 by 32 pixel mama.




This part's actually clever... N'ah, just kidding.

The idea here is that first you find Nigel Rancid's file (one of the guys who Heronapped you before), read it, grab all the files that it references, read them, and then grab the last file that those reference (Project Immortality).

Except here they wanted to catch "cheaters" who were using guides / hintbooks, so the game will yell at you if you grab the Project Immortality file before you 'should' know about it.

I guess it never occurred to them that a person may want to play through the game more than once, and may have... y'know... a memory.

But that's crazy talk - what kind of idiot would ever play this piece of shit twice?









Use all the files with the printer icon.

Narrator : And after that episode with the eggbeater, I thought you'd never impress me again.


We're outta here.

Grab the print-outs from the desk, and confront the good doctor.

Dr.Beleauxs : You're out of your mind, Wilco.
Wilco : So, what do you have to say for yourself now, Doctor?
Narrator : Confronted with the facts found in the files you located, he freaks and spills all.
Dr.Beleauxs : Oh... my...
Wilco : Eloquently stated.
Dr.Beleauxs : I...I didn't think this all the way through until I'd crossed my own personal ethical line. I was already...
Dr.Beleauxs : It had already gone too far. The experiments alone... I thought I could do just this one thing and still live with myself.
Dr.Beleauxs : Love can move a person to do some strange things, Wilco. She knew how I felt and used it to her advantage.
Wilco : I think I know what you mean about that love thing... But wait a minute. Slow down.
Wilco : Are you saying you have the hots for...er, I mean, you are actually romantically intrigued by SHARPEI?
Wilco : Wow, you are serious.
Wilco : I agree that love can make you do some weird stuff. In this case though, it made you do some stuff that was unethical and illegal, Doctor.
Wilco : Where is Stellar Santiago? I know she was alive - that her death was faked! What have you done with her?
Dr.Beleauxs : Great Caesar's ghost! The woman... she's still alive, but I'm afraid not much time remains.
Wilco : She is? What do you mean, "not much time remains"?!
Dr.Beleauxs : As you must realize by now, the Golden Lightyears project was merely a front for the research I'd been conducting per Sharpei's wishes.
Dr.Beleauxs : She is intensely fearul of death. You probably didn't notice that she is getting up in age a bit.
Wilco : Yeah, who could have guessed that?
Dr.Beleauxs : In very simple terms, Janitor Wilco...
Wilco : That's Janitor Second Class, Pal, and don't you forget it!
Dr.Beleauxs : Excuse me, Janitor SECOND CLASS. As I was saying, Sharpei feared dying -- enough to take the lives of others to save her own. She knew I loved her. I remember the day I met her.
Dr.Beleauxs : It was at the funeral of, ah, I believe it was her fourth husband, and I remember never having seen her look SO radiant! I fell for her -- hard. And she knew it. You should have seen her in black!
Wilco : I'll pass, thanks. Just tell me about Stellar!
Dr.Beleauxs : Okay, the bottom line is that I have developed a way to extend Sharpei's life by transferring her mental essence into the body of another. It was to be you until your friend Stellar Santiago got in the way. We thought no one would miss you. Go figure.
Dr.Beleauxs : What I have done is to employ nanotechnology to take over the designated host body, as is happening with your friend as we speak.
Wilco : Stellar's body is being taken over by Sharpei? Geez! But I don't understand! Is there anything we can do to stop it?!
Dr.Beleauxs : I've never really thought of it that way.
Wilco : Well, think about it NOW! We have to save Stellar. You can't let her die. You can redeem yourself at least to some degree, Doc.
Dr.Beleauxs : As much as it pains me to admit it, you're right, Roger. You're right.
Dr.Beleauxs : Okay, I think I may have a plan. WE can save her. There were some interesting spin-off technological breakthroughs. I'm going to send YOU in to stop Sharpei.
Wilco : Say what? No, I don't think...
Dr.Beleauxs : It's her only chance. If you seriously care for your friend, you'll do this.
Wilco : Oh. The only way, huh?
Dr.Beleauxs : The only way.
Wilco : Well... Okay, then. I hope you're sure about this.
Dr.Beleauxs : I'm positive. Here's how we shall go about it. You will move your shuttle into Lab B. Meanwhile, I will generate new software for your shuttle's navigational system which will help you lcoate the nanites -- the very small robotic devices I developed for the intrusion. One of them is Sharpei.
Dr.Beleauxs : If you can stop Sharpei... well, your friend's chances of survival improve immensely. Then... then, once I have located and extracted YOU, I shall work to repair whatever damage may have been done to Stellar during the attempted incursion.
















Deep inside Stellar Santiago


<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index