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Oh no... oh dammit, why are we here again?!

…… *pant*…… *pant*…… *pant*……

I breathe hard.
Somehow.
I have to resist it.

…… *pant*…… *pant*…… *pant*……

Her cute face devoid of fear.
Her completely unguarded, defenseless figure. Her red hair----and her delicious looking skin.

"Shiki-san……? This is strange, how did all of this happen?"
Still smiling, she draws closer to where I lie curled on the bed.

This maid.

"Run---away."
Using the very last vestiges of my will, I manage to let those words out.

This maid.

Her white fingers touch my shoulder lightly.
Her fingers pulsing with blood.
Her light body warmth.
Small fireworks explode in the back of my head.

"Kya----!"
I hear a scream.
My hand wraps around her throat.

"Hwa---ha, a, h----"
My breathing is out of control.
What. am I. Trying. To do?

"St, o---!"
A small tearing sound.
Her fingers dig into my arm.

She must be getting frantic, being on the verge of death like that.
Her nails push through my clothes and into the meat of my arm.

"Ha----ha."
Painted deep red.
Her unresisting neck is now running with blood.
I can't really feel her anymore.
Just the fact that she'll die in a few seconds,

"Haha-----ha."
Seems so funny to me, I start to laugh. It hasn't even been a minute since I grasped her neck.
She won't die of suffocation.
But here, by my hand.

"Ha, haa, ha."
For no reason, suddenly.

"Hahaha, ha---ha, ha, ha."
Like a simple appliance.

This really is fucking creepy.

In an instant,
like being freed from demonic possession, the heat disappears.

Before my eyes is the bloodied body of Kohaku-san.
My hand is grasping her neck and any second now----

"------!"
I quickly let go.

Without a sound,

Kohaku-san falls to the floor.

"Uu…… ha, ----"
Kohaku-san breathes painfully with her eyes closed. "Kohaku----san."
…… She's alive.
Just a little longer. If I kept going just a little longer, I would have----

GOD WHYYYYY?!

"-----Ha."
I can't believe it.
While one hand was choking Kohaku-san, my other hand----was reveling in the pleasure of killing something?

----Thump.

It, isn't over.
I'm still fully erect, and more than that, I am not satisfied myself.

I'm so thirsty.
I've---done such a terrible thing to Kohaku-san, but it doesn't seem to end.
The truth is, my regret is fading even now as I look at Kohaku-san's neck.

Her white neck.
Put my teeth at her throat and.

"----Haha."
I broke apart.

"Aha, ahaha."
I really broke down.

I'm done.
No longer---do I have the confidence to stay sane.

"Ahaha, hahaha, ha."
Outside.
I have to go outside.
If I stay here, I'll kill Kohaku-san.
If I stay in the mansion. I'll kill even Akiha and Hisui.
So before those urges come again, I have to disappear.

"Ahahahahahaha!"

Chapter 74

Shiki runs out of the mansion and tries to look for a place without any people around, afraid that he will be unable to resist the urge to kill as long as he's around people. He runs to the park, thinking there will be nobody there, but he can sense people in the nearby houses and it worries him.

Chapter 75

Shiki calls Ciel and confesses to her that he's really a killer and needs to be away from people. She asks him to meet her at the school since there are no people there. He goes, but when she shows up she's got strange symbols all over her body and she's wielding a massive gun called the Seventh Holy Scripture. He realizes that everything they shared in the past was all a huge lie, and her only purpose for being with him was to find out if he was Roa, and then kill him if he was. Shortly after, Ciel forces their fight to begin.

Chapter 76

Ciel breaks one of Shiki's arms and fires her massive gun into his shoulder, sending him flying backwards. Terrified, Shiki retreats into the school. He reminisces about his life and wonders how things could have gotten to the point that they are when he finally hears Ciel coming. He knows he has to choose to either fight or or simply die.

I told you to remember a particular image in the last update. Now it's the same thing, but we have a choice! Let's not get that exact same ending again.

"There's no way I can do that!"
I shout angrily at the other person inside my head.
It's the first time I ever wanted to kill myself.



Clang. Clang. The hard object rolls along the floor.

…… I don't see any lines.
What I threw away was my knife.
I won't take off my glasses. …… I'll never do that.
It's just that, since I didn't have confidence in myself, I threw away my knife.
If I kept holding it, I know I would've done something worse than me dying.

Music: play track 9

"---I have one question."
The tip of her bayonet aims at my chest.

"Why didn't you take off your glasses?
Why---didn't you even try to fight me once?"
"…… It's simple."
It's just that the thought never crossed my mind.

Except that it did.

"I can't do such a horrible thing to you, Senpai."
"Horrible? …… Are you stupid?

Yes.

I am going to kill you. I am not your Senpai. I told you everything was a lie, and you still don't understand……!"
…… Her voice sounds irritated.

---She's really… angry.

I realize that even though her face is calm, her arms and legs are literally shaking with anger.

"…… I know. Senpai, you were deceiving me up until now. This person called Ciel-senpai never existed from the beginning. I understand that."
"If you understand, then why……!"
"…… It's okay. Even if "Senpai" is a lie, it doesn't matter.
I really had a lot of fun. The time we spent together may not mean much to you, but it was very dear to me."

…… That's why it's okay.
Even if it's all a lie to Senpai,
the fact that I was saved by that is still true.

"---That's why it's okay."
These past two weeks really were fun.
But, if I hate you here, I'll lose even that.
Even if it's a lie to you, that's only half of it.
As for my half, I want to make it real, until the very end.

…… Although exchanging my life for that might be a comical wish.

This is a prime spot for another small penis joke, but it's almost too easy. Almost.

"---I have seen many people, but,"
She takes a step forward.
"This is the first time I've met someone as stupid as you."

That's our Shiki!

Senpai places the tip of her bayonet right up against my heart.
"------"
"------"
…… How come?
She doesn't pull the trigger.
The eyes looking at me are completely empty.
…… Those emotionless eyes that Senpai shows me. That doesn't mean she's a cold-hearted person, but…
Simply---She can't deceive herself, so in the end, I suppose all she could do was just kill her emotions.

"-----"
Yeah, I finally realized it.
That whenever she showed those eyes, she wasn't fooling me--she was fooling herself.

"…… You're not going to kill me, Senpai?"
"---I forgot. In the end, I still must hear your confession. I am a member of the Church after all."



"…… Oh. I don't have anything to confess, but can I ask something?"

"Wait, actually, I have one confession I almost forgot. I killed a girl. Hold on, two confessions... just two. I choked my sister's maid almost to death and masturbated all over her while I did it. Actually, make that three..."

"----Yes. Please make it short."
"…… Yeah, it'll be quick. It's just, I was wondering why you look like you're going to cry."
Like a jolt,
I think Ciel's body trembled.

"---I'm, not, crying."
Certainly her face is stone cold as she denies this.
…… Hearing that, I even tilt my head to the side.

But, all the same, I----

"…… But you still look like you're about to cry. I don't know why though."
"That's just your imagination. I don't feel anything."

"…… How terrible. Even to the end, you're going to lie to me, Senpai?"
"-------"
There's no response.
As if she was frozen, she doesn't move.

"---What about you? You're lying. I don't think your wish is to be killed here by me, right?"
"…… Of course. Because if you die, there's nothing. I've already experienced it once, so I understand that. …… To tell the truth, I want to live. But I don't want to just live."

…… Yes, I don't want that.
Even if I manage to keep living, there's nothing for me after that.
The person called Tohno Shiki would die and would do things just like this person experienced.
But, more than that.
If I live here, that means Senpai will be gone.
I would not be able to bear living like that.

"…… Senpai, everything was fun up until now.
The times I spent with you and Arihiko weren't bad. Even during breaks when you came, it was fun, almost like a dream.
…… That's probably what my wish is. It can't ever be granted, but---I really wanted that kind of life to continue."
"You still don't understand? I already said it was all fake."
"Yeah, but still----it really was fun."
The instant I say that, my heart calms down.

"H-----how,"
Foolish, she says.
And she slightly moves her bayonet.

It sticks into my chest.
Just a little bit. It only goes into me slightly, like a fingernail's depth.
Her eyes have stopped.
All that's left,
is for her to take another step and it'll all be over.

"---------"
But that final step doesn't start.
Bracing the bayonet, she stares at me with her emotionless eyes.
She grits her teeth painfully.

"……… I see."
…… It must be too difficult for her to do it while I'm looking at her.
More than anything else, I also don't want to see this person's face on the verge of tears.

So I won't trouble her anymore.
I decide to close my eyes and accept my end.

Music: stop

---Thump. My heart quivers.
Even though I'm prepared, the nausea and chills don't go away.

---Thump.
Thump, Thump.
Thump, Thump, Thump.

----*pant*, *pant* ,*pant*

I frantically try to hold my breath that tries to spill out.
She simply has to move ten centimeters forward and I'll turn into a mere lump of flesh.
Even though I'm supposed to be ready for this, my fearful heart is scared of disappearing without a trace.

----*pant*, *pant*, *pant*, *pant*.

All I do is frantically close my mouth, and try to accept my fate.
It would probably hurt if I get stabbed in the chest.
I'm scared of not being able to think like I am right now.

"U-----ah."
Sweat beads on my forehead.
But still, I don't want to speak.
If I quietly let everything end,
Senpai probably won't have to feel guilty.

"I, I am trying to kill you……! I've deceived you until now, I've betrayed you, and mercilessly hunted you down! Why does your face look so peaceful……!?"

Tap.
With her sword still in place, she takes another step towards me.

"Answer me……! I am going to kill you. Without any regards to your own will, just a one-sided murder……! Then, you won't be compensated unless you hate me, right……!?"

So it's okay for her to kill him as long as he hates her?

Senpai questions me with burning intensity.
…… Quit it. I'm working so hard to resist this fear, but if I answer now, my feelings might flow out.

"Or are you really just that stupid……!? I'm exterminating you as a dirty vampire, so why---"

…… Didn't I tell her it was nothing earlier?

"---Because, it isn't your fault, Senpai."
"………!!"

"Ss----Ah, u……… gh!"

----Sharp pain.

The wound isn't even deep. But just the slightest penetration by the Seventh Holy Scripture causes my mind to shatter.
"AH----a, Ah………!"
My body shakes uncontrollably.
The blood in my body reverses flow and I almost cough up blood in my pain.

"---It hurts, right? I can actually terminate you without making you feel pain, but I'm hurting you like this on purpose.
…… Unless I enjoy this, we won't be able to call it even for all the time I had to spend with you until now."

That's cold, girl, real cold

She seems to be speaking with difficulty.
The bayonet plunges deeper.

"Hya----ah!"
The pain causes sweat to pour out from me.
I feel like my insides are going to flow out through my mouth.

"See, don't you hate me, Tohno-kun?
So please hate me……! Tell me I betrayed you. Tell me it would have been better if you never trusted me.
If you don't---I won't be able to kill you……!"
Her voice shakes as she says this.
…… But, that's just strange.
It's better if I don't hate her, but she still wants me to hate her.
It's like she's telling me that being the bad guy like that, is her punishment.

"…… You can't be serious. I can't hate you, Senpai."
"St---stop it please……!
Why, why are you saying that till the very end……!? I'm the one who's to blame, and you're just a victim……!"
"…………"
…… Isn't Senpai a victim too?
And no matter what, I'll be taken over by Roa soon.
Before that, before I make mistakes like Ciel-senpai did, I have to kill Roa.
There isn't any other way to vanquish Roa than my death---so it just can't be helped.

"…… It's okay. It's not your fault. More than that, I'm sorry. Sorry to make you do this, Senpai."
"St----op."
Stop it, she says in a quiet voice and her bayonet pulls from my chest slightly.

"No-----I, I-----can't, let Roa escape."
The tip of the Seventh Holy Scripture wavers.
…… But, that should end soon.
"I can't---allow that, Tohno-kun."
A grinding sound.
Senpai grits her teeth and stops the Seventh Holy Scripture.
The tip of it points at my heart.

"------"
I hear her suck in a breath.
Even with my eyes closed, I can feel her finger gripping the trigger.
Click.
Right before the hard metallic sound,

Aw, dammit, Shiki

"……… U, u."

---I can, hear a voice.

"Uah…… ah, aah, ah."

---Sobbing.
I can hear a voice that sounds like a crying child.

"Uwah…… ah…… ah, ah."

---A loud thud.
The metallic pile falls to the floor.
A bayonet sticks into the wall behind me like a spear.

---Hic. Hic. A pained voice.
I realize who that voice is coming from and I open my eyes slowly.

"------"
There isn't the Senpai that was there just now.
The one I see standing before me is just a girl crying painfully.

Her hands are empty.
The Seventh Holy Scripture lies fallen on the floor.
The bayonet that should have pierced my heart is thrust by my side.

"…… U…… uwaah, ah, aah……!"
…… Senpai just cries.
I don't know what she's sad about, but she cries so painfully I expect her to cough up blood.

"I can't…… Even though I can even kill myself at any time, if you say that to me, I can't……!"

She seems ashamed to see me.

"Saying thank you like that---I can't, let such a happy person die like that----"

And thus the way to succeed at this path is to cure Shiki of his emo.

She covers her face with her hands and continues to weep.

"…… Senpai. Seeing you cry makes me troubled."
…… Because I won't know what to do.
"Uu…… uu, uwaaaaaaah……!"
…… My words might have been the wrong choice, as Senpai cries even louder.

"Geez-----why are you doing this all of a sudden……!"
I don't even understand why I did that.
But, I can't leave this person who's crying in front of me, so I pull her to me and embrace her.

Music: play track 7

"------"
…… What is this?
Then, the real lie was the Senpai up until now.
Finally, I get to meet Senpai.
It was about an hour after I called her, but I feel like I've waited for so long.

"…… You don't have to apologize, Senpai."
I just wanted to do so, and I embrace her with my still functional right hand.
"Ah--------"
A voice like something stretched was just snapped.
Senpai finally stops crying.

…… Thump. Thump.
I can hear the heartbeat of the person across from me like my own.
"………………"
It's awfully quiet.
I can't find the right words to say.
But staying like this---just hearing her heartbeat is good enough.

---What I really wanted.
What I really wished for was just a small thing. Like this, it was just fine having Senpai like she is.

"…… Senpai. Your body is warm."
"…… No. The one who is warm is you, Tohno-kun. I am a very cold person. I---did such terrible things to such a nice person."
…… No, Senpai. I'm not kind.
Even now, I just want to touch you, Senpai.
I just----want to stay like this forever.
"…… It's okay. I'm still alive, so it's okay. If…… we can keep doing this, it's okay."

I died once a long time ago.
After that, I realized how much happiness it was just to be alive.
A world where death can be seen.
A world where I can see death.
Every time, things that are easily lost.

But, that's why----being alive is happiness.
To feel that, being able to feel Senpai's warmth like this, is an exceeding happiness by itself.

"---Senpai. You are really dear to me."
"…………"
"I don't want to die. I want to live as much as I can, and I want to be with you like this, Senpai."
Firmly,
I grip her hands.
"So I want you to live. Please…… please don't say your wish is to die."
"……………"
There's no answer.
Thump, Thump.
Just the beating of her heart through our skin.

"…… That's the only thing that kept me going until now.
I could die. If Roa disappeared, I could die. I must die. That's why I could bear everything so far.
Because I killed my father and mother, because I killed everyone, because I became like this, and because I tricked you and tried to kill you----I, without delay, I have to die."

"…… Why do you have to die?
Certainly you've done a lot of painful things, but that wasn't your fault, Senpai……!"
"You say that, but I did them all with my own hands, Tohno-kun."
"No……! The one who's at fault is Roa. There's, no reason you have to die, Senpai!"
"---But, there's no reason for me to live either."

Saying that,
Senpai gives a mirthless laugh.

"…… I know. I know I don't have the right. I, did so many horrible things."

But why?
She asks with a quivering voice.

"I don't deserve to be happy. That's why I never thought of it, that's why I never even dreamed of it……!
But, but why---"
Thud.
Like a crying child, Senpai beats her hand against my chest.

"…… It was so fun.
Even though I knew it was all a lie and I'm just playing out the life where I'm having fun, I thought it was fine the way it was----it was so much fun, I didn't want it to end even if I knew it was all a lie.
An almost dream-like happiness that I wanted to always last just one day longer."

…… I see. What we wanted, what we wished for, was the same after all.

"---But, that selfishness can't be allowed.
I have to kill Roa quickly and receive my punishment.
I have no right to live a normal life like you, Tohno-kun.
Such a thing, I understand without you saying it.
If I'm wishing for such a dream and I can't even kill you, I can't do anything but disappear.
There's no longer a reason for me to stay here."
Senpai speaks with an anguished face.

"…… Farewell. I was, really happy to hear you thank me."

Senpai pulls back from me.
The heartbeat I felt up until now cuts off.

…… This person has told me farewell so many times.
Even that time.
With a smile, she said it as if it was very important to her.

---Farewell. I really did want to be a student like you and Inui-kun.

…… Really, why didn't I ever realize it?

She would always say those simple things,
as if they were a distant dream for her.

WHERE ARE HIS EYES?

"To, Tohno-kun, that's enough-----"
"No. I won't be fooled by your lies anymore, Senpai."
I hold her close to me as she tries to escape.
"If you want to continue, then go ahead and do so. What you're talking about is definitely not a dream."
"That…… that's impossible."
"Why? After all, it really happened in reality. It's a way of life that if you wish for it, it will come back. Please don't call such simple things like that a dream."

"…… It's impossible. I've hurt you so much, Tohno-kun, it's too late to go back."
"Oh, that's okay. I don't mind, so you shouldn't either.
See, I think I got to experience something as rare as truly being chased by the one I like."
I try to sound as jokingly cheerful as I can.
"……………"
Senpai is silent.

"And tonight, you looked really cool. Those clergy robes are good too, but your outfit tonight really suits you too. I was lucky to see it."

Oh god here we go again with the fucking cool boots.

"………………"
Senpai is silent.

"Senpai, you look different without your glasses. You were handsome, and you looked older."
"……………………"

…… As expected, Senpai is silent.

--------*sigh*
Not matter what I say, Senpai does not answer.
I try as hard as I can to soften the mood but fail miserably. I don't know what else I can say.

"…… Senpai, say something. Or you don't want to talk to me now?"

"…… Tohno-kun, you're an idiot.
I, I'm not the person you think I am, so how can you be so nice?"
"Because I don't want you to cry. I want you to laugh; I want you to cheer up."
"…… But, I don't have the right. I don't have the right to receive your kindness."

"………………"

---A right to receive kindness.
I didn't have such a thing either.
But, still---the one who laughed it off and told me that I didn't need such a thing, was her.

"I don't know. I don't know your circumstances, and honestly I don't care. I'm not being kind to you for your sake, so don't worry about it."

That time.
After I killed Arcueid and when I could only think of killing myself, just like what you said to me that time.

"…… Um, well. I think I'm doing this because I want to be kind to you.
Your circumstances have nothing to do with this. It may be a bother to you, but just think of yourself as having been caught by a mean-spirited underclassman and give up."



Harder,
I hold her even more strongly to me, and press our bodies together.

"Ah-----Tohno, kun."
"I don't know about your sins.
I like you---I love you Senpai, that's why I'm being kind to you.
Everything else doesn't matter. I just want to be happy with you. ---I want to be with you forever, so I don't want you to die."
"But---I, I----"
"…… But still. Still, if you say you don't want to be happy, that's fine too. I'll just do what I want, and no matter how much you might hate it, I'll be by your side and make you happy……!"

Music: stop

"-----Mm."
…… Our lips separate.
Ciel-senpai lets her arms fall to the side and pulls back from me.

"……………"
…… The hallway is silent.
Seeing the blue moonlight faintly shading the world jolts me back to reality.

"Ha…… ah."
I just… made a big fool of myself.
Even though there's no way out even for me, it's meaningless to embrace her.
But, I couldn't refrain from doing so.
If I could, I wanted to stay like that forever.

"Tohno-kun. Is it okay to say that?"
"---Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I don't even know what to do with myself---and I was saying such haughty words."
"That's not what I'm saying. I'm asking you if you really can make that sort of promise with me."
The weakness she had in her voice has disappeared completely.

Oh god... no... not this part... anything but this part

"…… Sorry. I, I'm hopeless. Senpai, when I get to a point where I can't turn back, at that time---"
"---I will not let you die."
She declares.
She strongly interrupts my words.

"I will not let you die. I won't let Roa have you."
"Senpai, but---"
"I will protect you. I will save you, no matter what. So---please do not say that."
Senpai quickly stands up and with a serious face, tends to my wounds.

"…… It seems they have already healed. It's nighttime, so your body is more like that of a vampire's right now.
Um, thanks to that, you were not killed. Maybe we should give Roa some thanks."
…… Trying to lighten the mood or something, Senpai gives a joke that isn't exactly easy to reply to.

"Tohno-kun, can you stand by yourself?"
"I can stand, but---Senpai, is there really a way to save me……?"

"…… I can't say for sure, but if I go back to the Vatican, there might be a way.
Um, unlike before, they had a sample, me, to research on, so they should have researched into how to seal Roa's soul while leaving the reincarnated human's consciousness."
"---What's that? If there was such an easy way, then why---"

"…… Tohno-kun. Certainly the Church may be able to help you, but what awaits you may be hell.
To the people of the Church, you and I are both heretics. You will get the treatment in return for helping their research.
…… Although if you stay quiet about your eyes, you may not be treated like a lab specimen like I was, but---"
"---In other words, it'll really hurt?"

"…… It's okay, Senpai. Right now, we're at a dead end. If there's even the slightest chance, then we have to go wherever.
…… And no matter how it turns out, I won't complain, Senpai."
"---No. I won't let anyone hurt you. Please trust me on that."
"…… Yeah, I trust you, Senpai."
…… I say that, but being a real small-town person, I'm actually kind of worried about things like my passport and airfare.

"But what are we going to do? Are we going to the Vatican right now?"

"No, I will treat you for tonight. Roa is a vampire, so when it becomes morning, he will calm down.

By the time this update is over, you'll all be begging for the mutual murder ending.

…… It would be simple if it was just a matter of taking you to the Vatican, but your problem is something that should be kept low-profile. Just like with me, you are something that should not exist, so you have to go to the hidden part of the Church.
But, to take you there, I have to get some permission. Even if we were to minimally purify you, there aren't any places in this city where we could do that.
There is only one place where we can purify you in our way in this country, so I have to take you there first."

"…… And, that may take a number of days, so please wait in my room until then. I will place a blockade against vampires in my room, so you should be able to last against Roa for a week or two there."
"…… Your room---you mean, I'm staying in your room!?"

"…… Um, Tohno-kun. Your life is in danger, so please put up with it. Oh, you can at least let your sister know, but please don't tell her the details."

"…… Well, it's not like I can tell her in the first place---"
"Then shall we go? We have to separate the Roa inside of you to start off."
She grabs my arm and starts to walk.

GOD WHYYYY?!

…… There really is no trace of her weakness before.
But, it is a forced cheerfulness.
Senpai really doesn't want me to be worried, so she's forcing herself.
"…… Thanks, Senpai."
I speak in a low voice so she won't hear me.

Ciel-senpai's room hasn't changed a bit.
"Senpai, so, what do I do now?"

"Well, first we will temporarily silence the Roa inside of you, Tohno-kun.
…… Well, I say that, but my place itself is holy ground, so the advancement of Roa's consciousness will be greatly slowed just by staying here."
"---Oh? Then I'm safe as long as I stay here?"

Wait for it...

Waiiiit for it...

"…… Senpai. If it's dangerous to my life, wouldn't that be very, very important?"
"Well you're right, but um…… If I say directly, Tohno-kun, is there any part of your body that feels strange?"
"Feels strange? Well, I do have inhuman strength right now."

Whoever thought writing this was a good idea is a sick and deranged man.

"…… That's not what I mean, but don't you feel like, 'this is really hot!', or like, 'I need to let it out!' or something like that?"



"Eh---th, that is---"
…… Well, that urge to destroy was certainly in me until recently.
And I did that horrible thing to Kohaku-san.

"…… No, I'm fine. Since I entered this room, I haven't heard that guy's voice once. Just like you said, it looks like he'll calm down if I'm in here."
"But that is the mental side of your problem, not your body."



"---?"
Ciel-senpai still hesitates like she has to say something rather difficult.
…… I have no clue.
I sit down on the floor to rest for now.

"You locked yourself up in your room for days, then jerked off on your maid. If you want to stay here, you need to clean up, mister."

"Because, like you just said, all that's happened, so it's strange if you don't wash yourself and calm down."
"Well---but…"
"No buts, Tohno-kun. You used my bath once anyway, so please don't hesitate."
Ciel-senpai pulls on my arm forcefully.

"H, hey Senpai, I said it isn't good……!"
She won't listen to me.
She drags me to the changing area and forces me to take a shower.

Of course, by myself.
Ciel-senpai is waiting for me in her room.

"…… How did this happen?"

I resign myself to showering.
…… As Ciel-senpai said, my body is filthy.
There's mud all over my arms and neck and my body reeks of sweat.

"Huh---huh?"
I'm not really excited or anything, so how come---it's so erect down there?

"Wait a minute, this is weird---!"
It's full of blood ignoring anything I tell it.
"----Don't tell me----"
Since last night.
Urged by Roa's consciousness, since I attacked that woman on the street, I---I've always been like this?

GOD WHYYYYY?!

"…………"
I feel terrified.
…… That's bad.
I'm supposed to be safe from Roa's will inside of Ciel-senpai's room, but it seems like my body isn't calming down.

"…… Hey. Staying erect for a long time, um, maybe, isn't that a bad thing?"
No, not "maybe", but "definitely".
In the first place, being stiff for an hour hurts, so if I stay stiff for an entire day, that's just wrong.

…… But, being erect for a whole day is seriously bad.
I think it was calm after I attacked Kohaku-san, so it hasn't been a whole day, but still---

"---Geez! Even though I was almost killed by someone I liked until just now, why do I have trouble over such stupid stuff!?"
…… Screaming out won't solve anything.
I give up and decide to let it out.

"So, how was it? Could you let it out yourself, Tohno-kun?"
"Eh----Senpai, you mean, um……"
She sighs.
"I knew it. If you've, um…… held it in so long, it might not be possible to release it unless it is Roa's will."
"-------"
Ciel-senpai starts to blush and my cheeks flush red as well.
Hold it in…… it's a little troubling if she says that directly.

"Ah……… uh……………"
But like Ciel-senpai said, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get the fire out of me by myself.
In the end, I gave up trying to let it out and left the bathroom.

"I'll come out honestly. This isn't a situation where embarrassment should stop me. As you say Senpai, my body is strange right now.
I swear, but I'm not thinking of any perverted things. Um, I'm not, but, my body, just by itself, has a hard on and---"
I can't really say that I'd rot staying up like that.

"I see…… Hey, tell me those kind of things clearly. I feel so stupid not even realizing it until I was naked!"

"If I could say it clearly, it wouldn't be difficult!"
---Oh.
That's right. Of course she can't say it clearly, because Ciel-senpai is a girl.

"Sorry. But what should I do? I tried to do something about it, but it just won't calm down.
It's like my mind and body are two completely separate things. My body feels like it's not mine, and I can't even get in the mood for it---"

Geez, to say it frankly, it's like I have no sensitivities whatsoever!
…… It would be easy if I could say it out loud like that, but I can't say that sort of thing to Senpai.

GOD WHYYYYYY?!

"Senpai, then you know what I should do……?"
"Of course.
…… Um, well. Your mind right now is somewhat disconnected from your body.
So, more than yourself, um…… someone else's skin, someone else helping you, will make you feel better."



"------"
Instantly.
As soon as I hear her words, my mind goes blank.

"…… Someone else helping me…… um, Senpai?"

"That's what I mean. You may be unwilling to do it with me, Tohno-kun, but please bear it. It is a technique to calm the soul, so it isn't sexual.

You are a damned dirty liar <>

So, please don't be so embarrassed."
"Ah……… h."
After she says it so directly, I don't know how to respond.

"Then, Tohno-kun, please wait in the room. I also have some preparation to do."
"Wait? …… Senpai, are you going somewhere?"
"Yes, I will also take a shower. I don't want to do it with all this paint on my arms."
Even though she tells me not to be embarrassed, she also blushes.

"Senpai, this…… um, we really shouldn't."
"It's fine, so please wait in the room! I'll prepare myself and go, too……!"

Senpai dashes off to change and slams the door.
"Ah-----"
There's no time to stop her.
Either way, I can't do anything unless I calm this thing down.
I know it's taking advantage of her, but I'll have to take her goodwill for now.

I convince myself like that and as I enter her room,

"…… Oh, Tohno-kun? Um, well, do you object to me wearing glasses or anything……?"

I hear her voice from the other side of the door.
"? Glasses…… Senpai, why are you asking that?"
"Well, um…… I know there are those kind of guys who, care about that sort of thing."
She sounds very embarrassed.

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