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Tuesday April 4, 7:00

*BEGIN RECORDING*
This was a call I was not expecting. The 911-like system of reporting aliens has had prank calls before but it’s usually very easy to determine which calls are legit, which ones are cases of mistaken sightings and which ones are fake. The terror in the voice of the person on the other end of the line, along with the sound of gunfire and explosions indicated this was the real deal.

One problem - We’re going to the Temple of Sanity, owned by the Cult of Sirius.

As to why the Cult of Sirius is asking for our help, or why aliens went there in the first place is a mystery we’ll have to uncover.

----

Mindfish: Suit up guys! Inside here are hostile alien forces as well as Sirian members. Consider everything a threat, and always shoot to kill. Remember that B-Toxin has almost no effect on people. Move out!

Mindfish: Stop! You guys hear that?

*hsssss!*
*BZZZZZT*
Aaaaahhhh!
*VOIP, VOIP*
Grrrrrrrr!

*pyew, pyew*
KABOOM!
ROOOAAAAAAR

*BZZZZZT*
Mindfish: Skeletoid sighted!

UberJew: I got him! *pft* ….melted.

UberJew: I see some cultists over here!
Sirian A: Look over there! X-COM! Truly this is the end of days!
Sirian B: The appointed time is here!
Sirian C: Will this be our baptism of fire?
Sirian D: Don’t say that! Didn’t you hear about our honored departed in the Temple X-COM attacked?
Sirian A: …
Sirian B: …
Sirian C: …

Sirian A: Oh, praise be to glorious leader Markus! The feeling of shrapnel raking over our skin is infinitely more pleasurable than burning in the fire of the unbelievers!

Sirians A,B,C,D: !!!!!

Sirian B: Why must pain and sacrifice be the paths to salvation!?

Sirian E: Ah! How did the evil sinners know I was hiding behind this post?

Jim: There’s a skeletoid here too! *pft, pft* It’s down…..hey look at that just above those flaming cultists – that corpse – we didn’t do that! Confirmed, the aliens and the cultists are fighting each other!

Sirian F: SURPISE ATTACK!
Sirian G: Wall hax! Fire!

Sirian F: Headshot!
Sirian G: Dude, you hit the drapes! That wasn’t even close to a headshot!

Jim: You boys have anything to say to me?
Sirian F: I regret nothing!
Sirian G: Take me into your kingdom oh cruel and merciful Lord!

*BZZZZZT*………..*thud*

Sirian A: Out of the fire!

Sirian B: Were safe! Praise our God!

Lege: Enemy sighted. Firing rocket.

Schlock: Surrender and we won’t harm you!
Sirian D: You’re a hybrid? You’ve turned your back on your proud and noble hertitage! I’ll never sur…

…rOW!! OW OW OW! AND NOW I DIED!

Sad King Billy: Hey Jim, can I get this one?
Jim: Sure! Just be sure your visor’s on. When hit by disruptor beams they splatter.

Lege: Firing second shot!

----

All aliens and cultists were killed. We demanded to know why aliens were inside the temple, and why the Cult was fighting them. Their official response: "Figure it out on your own. The continued aggression against the Cult of Sirius has no base and will not be tolerated. Leave us alone."

*END RECORDING* 
code:

Days in service/Kills/Missions

Soup-Bot:         Squaddie     32/2/43
Mindfish:         Captain      32/58/44
SynthOrange:      Squad Leader 23/30/25
UberJew:          Sergeant     26/27/48
untalented:       Squad Leader 16/13/28
Sair:             Squad Leader 17/24/22 
HAL:              Squad Leader 20/23/32
El Nato:          Sergeant     22/28/24
'Dini':           Squad Leader 22/18/32
Striker:          Squad Leader */6/*
Schlock:          Squad Leader 25/7/39
Lege:             Sergeant     10/14/16
Sad King Billy:   Squad Leader 10/6/13
Daviel Schada:    Squad Leader 10/10/6 
Jim:              Squad Leader 10/17/16
YourWay:          Squad Leader 10/11/12
Dominic W-Hat 01: Squaddie     13/11/12
Cabledude:        Rookie       8/0/4 
Pusherbot:        Squaddie     4/4/4
Schlemdinger:     Squaddie     2/2/4 
Heti:             Squaddie     3/1/4
Stunning aliens counts for nothing, so if you use a stun grapple, you're not getting many kills.

Rather than wasting money by acutally firing Willie Tomg, he simply morphed into Striker. Tomg's kills were at zero, but I forgot what his days and missions were.


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