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Tuesday, April 11, 1:00
*BEGIN RECORDING*
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Mindfish: Come in X-COM HQ! Mission accomplished, repeat mission accomplished. We’re two short and heavily damaged, but this boat’s still got a lot of happy campers on it. Transmitting mission files now.
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YourWay: Hey, I didn’t feel a thing! Why’d you guys tell me that dimension shifting would hurt?
Mindfish: We’re just fooling with the new guy. Oh shit, look out the starboard side.
Mindfish: Another new type of UFO.
YourWay: WHOA! Fast attack ship dead ahead, get us to the building, quick!
YourWay: Nice of the unmanned probe to land before us. God, I wish this ship had more than just the bare bones.
Mindfish: Alright boys, suit up. We don’t know what exactly to expect in here. Treat everything as hostile. Watch each other’s sixes. No stupid risks.
Mindfish: El Nato, Lege, Striker, UberJew and YourWay, with me. SynthOrange, I want you to lead Sad King Billy, Schlock, Daviel Schada and Jim. Soup-Bot, you take ‘Dini’, HAL, Sair and untalented. Try and find all the brainsuckers for us.
Mindfish: The devices we have to destroy look like some kind of enourmous spikey flower.
Mindfish: MOVE OUT!
YourWay: What the hell is this? Some kind of tube?
UberJew: An alien version of our people tubes?
Mindfish: Or some kind of alien dumping ground. YourWay, stay here and look for anything unusual.
YourWay: Yes, sir.
SynthOrange: Hey, I found one of those sleeping devices. It’s unguarded. Who wants it?
Jim: I got this!
*BZZZZZZT*
Daviel Schada: Holy shit! Did you see that thing blow up? The building just sort of consumed it; there’s a huge steamy pit here. Ew, what’s that smell?
Jim: I smell it too, that’s awful. Maybe these tubes are some kind of alien garbage disposal. At least these plants here are providing enough light for us to…
SynthOrange: For us to what?
Jim: LEAVE US.
*BZZZZZT*
SynthOrange: with my last breath, I’m going to draw you a picture!
Jim: GET OUT.
Daviel Schada: Oh fuck!
*PUNG*
Daviel Schada: Don’t take this stunning personally.
Schlock: Hey Jim, where’re you going?
Sad King Billy: Jim?
Sad King Billy: JIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!
Sad King Billy: Wha? Oh….OH MAN! I think these tubes ARE for waste, I just stepped in some kind of alien crap! God, it stinks to high heaven. Oh, I hope they don’t have to take my leg armor into quarantine for this….
Sad King Billy: Aw, there’s another crap over here…whoa! Spitters, and another sleeping pod.
Let’s see how you worms like one of your own grenades!
Sad King Billy: Crap, didn’t get the sleeping thing. And I splattered that shitpool all over the place.
Schlock: I melted a skeletoid over here, Dav, I need backup.
Daviel Schada: Now I need backup!
UberJew: We got you Dav!
Mindfish: Stun gas! Now!
Mindfish: Lege, get in on this!
Lege: We got them all!
Daviel Schada: Oh, eee, aahhhh, help!
Lege: I’ll melt the survivors!
Striker: Whoa! An anthro just popped out of the crap shoot.
Striker: So these things are crapholes and people movers? Gross.
El Nato: Focus guys, we’re here the destroy stuff. Like this.
Sad King Billy: Alright, I wanted another shot at this one anyway.
Sad King Billy: And this one over here. Fuck, where’d Jim go?
*CREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAKKK*
*GROOOOOAAAAAAAANNNNNNN*
Sad King Billy: The building’s collapsing!
Mindfish: I think that did it! Everyone back to the Peace-ship! Double-time, move!
Mindfish: Head count….duh…duh…hey Soup-Bot nice to see you come back.
Soup-Bot: NO ALIENS OR SLEEPING PODS LOCATED. ANDROID TEAM FEELS UNDER-UTILIZED.
Schlock: Synth-O’s dead, and Jim, I don’t know he just bugged out and ran deeper into the structure.
Schlock: Towards the next building.
Mindfish: Then we’ll have to leave him. We gotta go.
YourWar: Alien destroyer, right on our ass!
YourWay: Brace yourselves!
*NEEEEEAR-OUWWWWWWW*
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Our team was successful in destroying the alien sleeping chamber with only one casualty. Jim will be listed as MIA and all teams are instructed to keep a look-out for any traces of him in the future. He’s to be considered hostile and to be captured if possible. The reason for his odd behavior is worrying. The only thing that I’ve ever seen like it were the psionic attacks of the previous alien wars. However, none of the aliens we’ve seen have anything close to psionic potential. Could there be sectoids somewhere in the alien dimension, attacking us psionically? Or could there somehow be humans doing the same? Either thought is troubling.
Our scientists scraped some of the goo off of Sad King Billy’s leg armor, which is now in quarantine. He's been given replacement leg armor, unfortunately the only size available was two sizes too small. He'll manage though.
As for this goo, we’ve never seen alien excrement before. In our dimension they use all of their food energy efficiently to speed along their metamorphosis, and then stop consuming food at the advanced stage of development. None of our scientists are too keen to analyze it, (and I can’t blame them, the stuff reeks) and we need them to keep analyzing weaknesses in the alien buildings for future missions.
So far, we’re off to a good start.
*END RECORDING*
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