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Friday, May 5, 12:00

*BEGIN RECORDING*

----

Mindfish: This one should be simple guys, considering our arsenal.

Mindfish: These are our targets. It’s some kind of pump, and acts as the heart of the alien buildings.

Oystertoadfish: I see one already.

Oystertoadfish: And it’s flanked by alien tubes. When will they learn not to put important items near explosive items? GRENADE!

Oystertoadfish: Well shit. This is going to take some time to finish off with my gun. The rest of you go ahead, I’ll get it eventually.




off in the distance
*KABOOOM*

Chuch Charlie: You guys hear something from up ahead?

Chuck Charlie: Hey, this looks like Redeker and El Nato! And they’re unconscious. I wonder why there’s stun gas in the air here…

Velius: I’ve got an idea…looks like the micronoids are now using this building as their new food chamber; there’s a heat and light source over here. I’m going to see what happens when I shoot it…

Velius: Yup, that looks like some kind of gas I don’t want to be breathing.

Chuck Charlie: But then why are El Nato and Redeker in the middle of the gas cloud? Unless they were being shot at from nearby, and a stray shot hit….

Mindfish: That’s right Chuck, I see some up ahead! Alright, it’s on now! Let’s see what this C-Toxin can do!

Mindfish: Well that’s not bad, I melted three of them!

Teppec: Uh…Mindfish, we’d love to provide backup, but we have a little problem here.

Teppec: And by ‘little’ problem I mean Megaspawns.

Dominic W-Hat: HEAVY FIREPOWER FROM ROBOT TEAM “A” INBOUND.

Mindfish: Not bad guys, keep firing at them!

Heti: MORE PUMPING STATIONS LOCATED NEAR ALIEN TUBES. THROWING GRENADE.

Lacroix: So should I stab him, or melt him?

Lacroix: Melt! Man, they go down quick when you hit them with C-Toxin!

Koil: Now that we have the battle a little under control, I’m going to take out this nexus of pumps.

Koil: And this one too…


Mindfish: Holy crap, look at all those poppers – inside the blast radius of a vortex mine!

Teppec: Okay you gigantic freaks! Eat flaming death!

Teppec: Uh…

Psion: Well good job Teppec, you blew up the ground it was standing on. Care to try that again?

Psion: Dammit boy, the goal is to kill them, not dig a foxhole for it!

Psion: I’ll just do this myself then.

Psion: There. It may not be as flashy as your rocket launcher, but this new toxin gets the job done.

HAL: DESTROYING CENTRAL PUMP STATION.

Koil: I got this one too! I think we’ve almost got them all. Begin retreating to the ship. Someone remember to drag El Nato and Redeker back too!

Velius: This looks like the last one…

Velius: That’s it! Everyone out, now!

----

Another spectacular success of a mission. We suffered no casualties, located two of our three missing soldiers unharmed, and destroyed the alien maintenance factory. The remaining buildings will now be operating at a severely reduced capacity. The test of the C-Toxin also proved highly effective, and I’ve given the go ahead to inject our brainsucked soldiers with it, in the hopes it will cure them of the micronoid infection.

We've detected something worrying though. All attempts to scan or gather any information about the final alien building, the one generating the dimension gates, have failed. We're beginning to suspect that the dimension gate building is also generating the same energy field as the alien farm. If this is true, then we'll need to prepare another round of volunteers for a suicide mission.

*END RECORDING*








Teppec posted:

"To whom it may concern in R&D,

Please, for the love of god, we need more boom-boom. Look, I know you pocket protector types are all in love with this C-Toxin and biotech research, but seriously, can we get some better explosives?

I shouldn't have to deal with this Psion guy from the Cult all up in my grill because he turns a megaspawn into an oversized pincushion while all I managed to do was buff and blow dry the damn thing's hair and in the process turn a portion of the alien building into a Wal-Mart parking lot.

If nothing else, think of the memory of Coolswa. What would he do if he was around to see the sad state of affairs our tactical artillery was in?

Teppec, X-Com ground pounder"



From: Director Otto Zander c/o Dr. Strangleglove, X-Com Mega-Primus Operations
To: Squaddie Teppec, X-Com Soldier
Date: May 6, 2084
Subject: Better explosives

We take the opinions of our soldiers very highly at X-COM, that's why I'm proud to report that we're extremely close to a major scientific breakthrough. You're going to love your next mission, and your new weapon.

On a personal note, we've been watching your progress and are impressed. We are considering you for promotion to Squad Leader should you continue on at the pace you're at.

If you have any other concerns, please feel free to voice your opinion.


Teppec posted:

"To Director Zander,

I thank you for taking a direct interest in this situation. I know the guys putting in overtime in R&D are doing their best, but I just want to make sure that we're keeping in tip-top shape in all of our offensive capabilities. When things are supposed to blow up, they really should blow up.

Also, wherever you think this square peg fits, I'm glad to do the job, sir. Never minded taking new guys under the wing to show them which end of a brainsucker is the bad end.

Teppec, X-Com ground pounder"




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