Live a Live Part #54 - Wrestler - A Short Story about Wrasslin', Stereotypes, and Mega Man

Part 54: Wrestler - A Short Story about Wrasslin', Stereotypes, and Mega Man

A Short Story about Wrasslin', Stereotypes, and Mega Man

A fierce youth has entered a global fighting tournament to experience and learn the combat styles of the world. He will see many unique techniques, and use them to achieve the ultimate goal: the title of "Strongest in the World!!"

?: Once, I told everyone in the gym my dream...

Music ~ Ultimate Strength, Victory Road

Illustration ~ Ryouji Minagawa

?: I must be adaptable.

?: I will learn much from each fighter.

?: Let the games begin! Bring it on!

Mister T: I look forward to the coming battles!

Music ~ Martial Arts Master

Hey everyone, welcome to the Wrestler chapter! (I recommend you listen to this chapter's music, it's very nice.)

Now, a few things you may have noticed about this chapter-

1. Mister T is far more of a man than BamBam.
2. There's no map here.
3. We're in a Mega Man stage select menu.

Now before we talk about that, let's talk about Mister T himself.

Now as you can see, he's very sparsely equipped, and only Level 2. This is of course ignoring the fact that he has 320 HP and ridiculously high stats for his level. Mister T will not be leveling up at all in this chapter, but he's a very good character anyway.

At the moment, he has three moves-

-Blazing Fist, a diagonal melee move. It's good, because Mister T is good, unlike some redheaded hipsters I could mention.
-Roundhouse, a kick technique which changes the opponent's direction. Good for a diversion.
-Battle Cry, a decent heal and buff move. Has a slight amount of charge time. It's also the only healing you're gonna get in this chapter- it's a good idea to make use of it.

However, the point of the chapter is of course to learn styles of martial arts. We'll be learning moves from our six opponents. By getting hit with them, of course.

It's typically a good idea to take on Tula Han first.

Trained by a special paramilitary fighting unit, Tula Han is a master of close-quarters combat. He fights with both mind and body as one, and can bend both to extreme measures.

Skills:
Arm Lock
Cross Heel Hold

Music ~ Versus!

Tula Han: Let's see how strong you really are...

Music ~ Knock You Down!

Each of the fighters in this chapter is like a boss. And no, those moves listed as their Skills aren't the only moves they have- just the ones you can learn. Mr. Han has:

-Low Kick and Heavy Blow, two melee moves. Heavy Blow is far more powerful, dealing about 70 damage per hit. He uses it less, though.
-Arm Lock, one of his Skills, is a melee-range attack that deals minor damage and inflicts Broken Arm, preventing Mister T from using arm-related moves such as Blazing Fist. Either by Han or Mister T's hand, it can also be used as a counter move, hence why it's a good idea to fight Han first.
-Cross Heel Hold is pretty much like Arm Lock, except it inflicts Broken Leg, which prevents leg-related attacks such as Roundhouse AND stops you from moving. It's also a counter.

Once you've got the two moves, it's safe to defeat the wrestler. Mr. Han himself has 432 HP. Using Battle Cry removes the Broken statuses, so it's a good idea to use that to move quickly. Be aware that the enemy gets one action before you use Battle Cry.

Han has 432 HP.

Upon loss, his line is:

Tula Han: You cannot win if you do not use your brain!

Next we'll be fighting this guy.

Enlightened in the ancient Japanese technique of bare-handed killing, Moribe's strikes can pierce even the toughest armor, yet can damage internal organs without breaking the skin.

Skills:
Abise-geri
Tsuda

Moribe Seishi: I hope you have studied well in the Art of War!

Seishi is a special foe. He doesn't have much HP, but his evasion is... really, really high. Actually, all of his stats are quite high. Moveset!

-Trip Up, a basic melee. Kinda sucks.
-Tsuda, a melee move. It's decently powerful, and has the special property of lowering the afflicted's stats.
-Sumo Slap, which hits two panels away from him and kinda sucks. It's mainly there to annoy you because it has the same range as
-Abisegeri, which is a good move that you can learn. It also turns the enemy around.

Basically, the idea is to hit Seishi with Tsuda and lower his stats then go to town. Simple.

Seishi has 112 HP.

Upon victory,

I didn't get his Loss dialogue because I am awesome.

Next.

Heeding the call of the sumo, Jackie traveled to Hawaii to become the greatest ever. Unfortunately, he failed, and now uses his sumo skills in international wrestling.

Skills:
Aloha Clap
Ogre Grip

Jackie Iaukea: My Sumo skills will crush you!

Big wall of HP.

-Thrust, a melee.
-Aloha Clap, hits the cardinals for 3X3 and knocks you back. Decent.
-Ogre Grip, a cardinal melee that hurts kinda.
-Earth-Rending Fury, the secret final skill. A cardinal Earth attack that hits for a 5X5 range. He'll only use it when he can't move or attack with his arms, typically. It has a REALLY LONG charge time so it pretty much sucks, but it hurts you a LOT when he uses it, so be careful about that. If he just sits somewhere for a pretty long whilst doing absolutely nothing, he's gonna use it. Heal to over about 260 or so. Quick note, our old friend O-Robo actually gets this move at Level 16. O-Robo's moveset gets really weird.

Basically, just hit him a lot. He's not very threatening other than maybe Earth-Rending Fury. 576 HP.

That's a man.

An incredibly flexible warrior who fights using the Muay Thai style. His ashiwaza high kick is considered to be incredibly devastating.

Skills:
Punchama Kick
Spiral Knee

Namcat: Too bad you won't be able to so much as bruise my pretty face!

Put some clothes on, you hippy.

-Panchama Kick, a melee attack. It's pretty good, I think. Counter.
-Spiral Knee, a move with the same general range as Abise-Geri. It's also decent enough.
-Also some other move I think. He never uses it.

You should have Abise-Geri by now. Stand two panels right or left and one panel down from his bottom tile. Use Abise-Geri.

If you don't, just hit him a bunch. He's not really that threatening. Like, at all.

255 HP.

What is that thing in the upper-right-hand corner of his portrait, exactly? His brain?

A Japanese wrestler who has mastered the techniques of the Mexican Lucha Libre champ, El Rudo. His moves are considered to be extremely rough, and he has been called the Dark Angel.

Skills:
Frankensteiner
Tornado Press

Great Asia: You obviously have no skill! I'm gonna chop your head off!

What's he wearing, I wonder?

-Bite, the worst move. Hits three panels away in ALL directions, AND inflicts Poison. Overlaps with both his Skills, too. You basically have to hope he uses them and not Bite. Also, the Watanabe joke of the chapter is related to it- he has to use it in the lower-right corner of the arena (which is really hard to get him to) and then there's a chance an audience member will throw a can at him. Cue mauling.
-Tornado Press, a melee move with good power which hits two panels away in each direction.
-Frankensteiner, a normal melee move. Hits pretty darn hard.

Basically you have to tank hits and heal a bunch until he hits you with those then hit him a bunch until he falls down and hope you don't die.

244 HP.

Any characters in this work of fiction are in no way intended to resemble real life persons, alive or dead.

America's number one wrestler, Max has made a name for himself as a Hollywood star. He's grown bored, however, and is looking for a challenger that can provide him with a real thrill.

Skills:
Max Bomber
German Suplex

Max Morgan: Max Bomber Number 1!!

This fight also kinda sucks.

-German Suplex, a melee attack with good power that also inflicts Paralyze, meaning you can't do anything. Is pretty bad for you.
-Max Bomber, an AOE attack of the area around the user. Has a pretty great animation.

See? Anyway, the idea of this fight is that you use Abise-Geri a lot because you should have it by now. If you don't have it then good luck I guess.

512 HP.

So that's everyone! At this point, you're prompted to save. It's probably a good idea to do so...

Music ~ The Demon King Odio

So now we fight Dr. Wily.

(At this point, a wind effect accompanies the music. Feel free to imagine this.)

Mystery Man: I am not impressed, though. The competition was not exactly stellar... I gave them... quick deaths. First was that amateur, Namcat, and that Lucha wimp... I twisted Tula's joints in ways nature never intended! Then Max, and that fatass, Iaukea... And the geezer, whatever his name was. They were weak... so they died! Now, you fight me...!

(It's almost as if there's some kind of recurring theme with these boss names... nah, it's probably nothing.)

Mister T: ...

Mister T: You didn't fight them. You just slaughtered them!

(The music cuts out here.)

Mister T: Namcat's ashiwaza... Great Asia's Lucha... Tula's armlocks, Jackie's strength... Morgan's power, and Seishi's technique! And my anger...!

No, we can't learn any moves from him.

Music ~ Megalomania

Oldbright is one of the harder chapter bosses, but he's a one-trick pony. He hits hard. Not much else.

-Death's Scythe is a basic melee. Nothing special. Its damage can add up, though.
-Terrible Shout is pretty much like Battle Cry.
-Gu Fa Tie Pao is like Spiral Knee- two panels away in each direction.
-Acro DDO is Odie's signature move. It's only on the direct diagonals next to him. It really, really, really, REALLY hurts. Like, about 288 damage or so.

Enough to kill me, in fact. Yes, that's a Street Fighter style CONTINUE?! dealie there. Let's try that again.

The general idea is to not stand on a direct diagonal to him and just hit him with Tsuda, then go to town. Moving to that blind spot and using Abise-Geri is a good idea, too.

I died thrice to him, by the way. He has 832 HP.

Odie: The title... passed on, until it reached me... I, the great one! The invincible! It is my... destiny, to be the best... there ever was... You... can't be... human...