Part 70: Final Chapter - Update # 2 - The Pilot who Ported Through WallsUpdate # 2 - The Pilot Who Ports Through Walls
: Fair enough. I'll be back once... when... whence I figured out what the hell I'm supposed to do here. Probably.
That lacked dramatic flair. I really need a spare sword to stick into things for emphasis.
: I suppose I'll just follow the path straight ahead until I meet someone who can hopefully explain what the hell is happe
This is rapidly turning into a catch phrase, but... the fuck?! What are you guys? How did you just appear out of nowhere? Are you even hostile?
: Yeah, the last chapter has plenty of traditional random encounters, potentially messing with underlevelled heroes.
: Well. That answers one question, and leaves the rest moot, introducing a new one:
Can I, after being stuck in the memory hole, having my skills erased, and being transported to a strange new land with nary an ally in sight... kick your weird-ass ass?
Yeah, that's right. I went there. What are you going to do about? Nothing, because you're dead.
: Shuriken (and running the hell away) deals with any other random encounters we may have before we get a proper party behind us.
: So it's not just the foreboding demonic cave, then. I suppose every part of this land is equally infested with monsters... so I may as well , as per traditional heroic tendency.
: Hey, a lone human sleeping outside in a monster infested wasteland. This doesn't scream "Trap" at aaaallll.
: Woah, another person!
: The hell? Are you trying to attack me?!
: Err... is it "Yes, I don't trust you" or "Hell No, I don't trust you" because either way, the glowy head thing is just
: Oh really?
: Not bad.
: Could you stop that? You're
: Freaking you out?
The name's Hiccup. You don't feel like such a bad sort, you know.
: Well... sure. Two sword hands
: are better than one.
Fair enough, except I don't really use swords.
: That's not getting any less freaky, by the way.
So, why are you sleeping outside the building?
: It would be easier to just show you.
: Those who rely on strength may not enter...
: Oh bullshit.
:I know. I suppose we'll have to come back when we have a particularly smart guy tagging along.
: No, bullshit. I graduated at the top of my my class in ninja academy. You know how many people you need to kill just to find it?
: Well, not as such. It's more of a family business. But you don't get to be the head ninja in your clan by being a moron. Point is, I'm smart. S-M-A-R-T, smart.
: Wait, isn't that
: I scorn your archaic references.
Didn't you know that シンプソンズ predates 源氏物語 by centuries, and is roundly mocked as a source of outdated references in 三国演义?
:Good point. I will never quote that show again, and hope no one else will either.
What I'm saying is, I get you. I'm a Mecha Pilot, Telepath and Teleporter, but even weird voices in messed up lands don't care about any sort of practical experience if you don't have some sort of fancy diploma.
: Ah... I got the part about weird voices?
: Oh. Well, a Mecha is... err, did they have like, machines in your primitive era? Or, like, man like machines?
: Hey, I had a robot buddy who was better than anything you could have possibly been associated with.
: I'm sure it was a very nice clockwork toy, but it probably couldn't stomp on buildings
Telepathy is the head glow thingy, and Teleportation.... well, let me just show you. If you're bored of messing with these guys
: I can blink us away in a second.
: Damnit. That's why I shouldn't teleport in unfamiliar places. Never know where you'll end up.
: Does cold bother you so much? You need to improve your endurance, unworthy descendant.
Hang on, what's that over there?
: It doesn't appear to be trapped... can't find an obvious way to open it...
: It's a battery.
: Great. Can you batter people with it?
: Equip it and see if it's an upgrade!
:I'll... just hang on to this, then.
: Fair enough. And now, we climb to the peak.
: Just to prove we can. Why, in Ninja academy, we'd climb up and down Mt Fuji before each breakfast, uphill both ways!
: Didn't we just establish that ninja academy doesn't actually exis....... *wolf whistle*
:A babe. What is she doing here? Do you think she'd like some company? Hey, you
: Shhhh! Shut up. I've seen this sort of trap before. She looks like a beautiful girl from behind, but when you...
JUMP INTO HER FACE!
: She looks just like a beautiful girl. Err... my apologies.
: Never mind, at least I'm not alone in this freaky place. You sure are the odd one though, ain't you?
: He may be, but I'm not. Hiccup, pleasure to meet you. Funny story about the name, you see
: Save the flirting for latter, delinquent. Honorable lady, do you need our escort? Are you lost here? A Shinobi is not without honor, when a defenseless woman is in danger.
: Li can really mess you up. The key is to keep moving and bait her into using charged moves that miss because you ran away and attacked with something fast. By the way, Yun joins you without a fight, and Samo asks for a bunch of food items. Every. Single. Time. More annoying to recruit than Sunset.
: Hah. It's been a while since I've fought a skilled Kuinochi.
: It's been a while since I fought someone who wasn't a total chump, or a homicidal jackass.
:Say yes, you moron!
We could certainly use your help.
ShaqFu inheritor Li Kuugo joined!
: The view is amazing. Shame one of my friends isn't here to appreciate it.
This place reminds me of home.
: That's cool and all, but I'm pretty sure that the ominous castle in the distance is our destination, and we should get moving.
:You can tell us how you came to be here, as we make our way down the mountain.
: I could just teleport us down.
: Let's not. Who knows where we'll end up next time.
: But first, we get the sword Brion from the grave.
: Is that...
: A cowboy?
: Half man, half cow? Do we fight it?
: Nah, he should be cool. Let's say hi!
: Yeah, what a total jackass.
: Wait up!
: Why are we trudging down a mountain, fighting monsters, just to talk to a guy who doesn't want to talk to us?
: I've got a feeling about this, ok?
: Well, let me just get rid of them real quick...
: You're not bad at this.
: Even pretty good, if I do say so myse
: Can we cut the chit chat and get moving, please?
: Honorable strange, if I may ask
:: Sup guy, why do you keep running away?
: ¿Qué tal?
: What is his problem?
: That could be it. Guys, I think we're done exploring this mountain.
: Insert cartoony sound effect here.
: Hey, asshole!
: And... there he goes.
: Thankfully, Sunset always leaves the screen in the direction his next destination, so he's relatively easy to find.
: Do we follow him into the castle?
: Not yet. My Ninja senses tell me there's something of interest this way.
:Ah, yeah. I can sense a sentient liveform that-away.
: Great, let's go catch it!
: Let's see who that is
: Wait up lil' guy!
: Thanks. Now we have to chase this guy all over the place as well.
: These flowers have healing properties, so at least this wasn't a complete waste.
: No, he's... somewhere nearby.
:: Could he be over... here!
: Ouch! Damn thing bit me!
:Hah! Now come on, freaky midget thing, I know exactly where you are. Come out, and I won't
Right in the sack...
: Would you chumps back off, and let me handle this?!
Hi there, little buddy. Nobody's going to hurt, all right? Come over here and meet big sis Li.
: Great job, Li! Now let me get my hands on him so
: Aww shit.
: The key to fighting BamBam is to NEVER let him get close or make a charged move. He's generally more than happy to do his big shout move for mediocre damage, while you snipe and heal with the handy items you find on the same screen, but if he gets close and uses his ultimate move, he can wreck most other characters.
: That... was closer than I'd like. You're a tough little fellow, buddy. Wanna join our group and use those bashing skills for good?
: And so, our party is complete. We four, we noble four, we band of brothers, can now have fun storming the castle.
: Don't ask me, I can read his mind and I still don't know what he's talking about half the time.
:: I'm saying, that now that we have a crew of certifiable badasses, and a mean spirited midget, we can walk into the castle and beat down any sources of information.
: Yeah, I don't think anything can handle all four of us now
: And then the game noticed that having BamBam in the party means we're ready to fight enemies appropriate for a level 16 party.
: What is that thing?
: Is that a boss monster out of nowehere?
: BamBam, fight back!
: Fuck yeah!
: Well done, midget!
: Watch out!!!
: Hiccup, get us the hell out of here!
: Well. This is another fine mess you've gotten us into.