Part 156: BCP 4 - Parasite TreeX-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?
Episode 4: Parasite Tree
Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Parasite Tree!
Parasite Tree, if handled correctly, can be a boon! However, more caution is required than most Abnormalities due to its special properties.
Special properties? Well, I'm ready to get to researching those when you are, Miss Hod! So, what do we have to do?
That's simple! The first step is to get yourself blessed!
Holy stromboli, Miss Hod! I feel like a new employee!
Every time Parasite Tree blesses an agent, it gains a glowing bulb! Nothing happens until we get to five of them, so the Abnormality can be worked safely until then.
Wait, five of them? Does that mean I get another team?
It sure does! Today, everyone in Disciplinary will be getting a Blessing, just to see what happens.
Oh boy! I guess THAT means it's time for a montage!
Right you are, Paul! It's montage time!
Music: 70s Montage!
That's the way! Feel the blessing permeating the essence of your very self!
Please remember to take note of the lights appearing after the completion of each blessing.
Blessings can be removed by the termination of the employee holding one. Don't forget!
This is our fourth blessing. We're really on the highway to the Danger Zone, now!
Remember to clear off a blessing when you hit this point, or else you could wind up in a big pinch!
Frolicking foliage, this sure makes five!
That's right! When the tree makes five fruits, several things happen very quickly!
Is one of them letting us keep the montage music, Miss Hod? I really like it.
Oh man, nobody's looking so hot anymore!
The first effect of Parasite Tree is that anyone blessed by it panics immediately-but not with a normal panic. Instead, the employees all run around to spread through the facility as much as possible.
It sounds like an excellent workout!
It sure is, Paul! But that's the last workout they'll ever get. I think it's almost time for the second effect now. Let's watch.
Yowie wowie, that looked painful! Is this why they say the Mary Jane is bad for you?
Don't be silly, Paul! Marijuana can't turn you into a tree. This is all the work of a mismanaged Abnormality. Speaking of, let's take a look back at it!
Woah! It cranked the edginess up to eleven!
It can't be worked while it's in this state, so it's important to clear out all the associated employees in order to make it profitable for our company again!
Oh no! That's not good! Speaking of the employees, though, what superpowers do I get now that I've turned into a totally radical shrub?
Saplings, as they're called, have only one attack. They release a deadly neurotoxin into the air that deals White damage to everyone in the room. Be careful-any agent who panics due to this attack will run away and turn into another Sapling!
Amazing! That's just like a chain combo in one of my home video games!
You can definitely think of it like that, but luckily our agents are competent enough to defeat them. Even Central Command 2's Captain Boksi is helping!
It's super inspiring just how much everyone pitches in at work around here!
That's because maintaining a positive work environment is mandatory!
Hey! They're smacking me now!
There's no need to worry at all. Anyone who's been transformed into a Sapling is beyond saving-they can still feel pain, but they can't possibly express it in any way.
Always remember, cutting down your co-workers is A-OK if they're getting in the way of energy production!
That's right, Paul! Now, let's watch what happens to Parasite Tree when the final Sapling is suppressed.
Coniferous cupressaceae! It's right back to normal!
Now that it's back in this state, we can resume working with it again. Just remember to never let the lights get to five, and you'll be just fine!
Wow, Miss Hod! It's a good thing we have a Manager to keep track of all of this for us. Just thinking about it makes my head all hurty.
That's why your job as an Agent is to just do as you're told! Well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for joining us! And remember
Knowledge is just pain plus observation! Have a great day!