Part 181: BCP 10 - WellCheers/Opened Can of WellCheers
X-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?
Episode 10: Opened Can of WellCheers
Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Opened Can of WellCheers!
Opened Can of WellCheers is a ZAYIN Abnormality. That means it's one of the least threatening classifications of Abnormalities, but there are still precautions to keep in mind when working with it.
And that means it's my time to jump in feetfirst and have a nice refreshing drink from the haunted soda machine, right?
Not quite, Paul. We actually have a volunteer today!
A volunteer?! But that never ever happens on this show!
Talow's a bit of an odd bird, apparently. He said it sounded like a vacation!
Jiminy wilikers, Miss Hod, I'll take it! Learning is seriously hard work, after all!
That it is, Paul! Now, works with WellCheers are a bit special.
They give out free drinks afterwards, right Miss Hod?
That's right! The type of drink is dependent upon the work type that our agents do!
The first drink is a red can, from Instinct work. This can restores the drinker's HP.
Wowies! And since the drink machine deals Red damage, that must make it great for our agents to train on, right?
Silly Paul anything that restores your health simply inhibits your growth. You have to take a real beating if you want to get those mad gains.
You heard it here, everyone! Nothing ventilated, nothing gained!
The second drink is in a blue canister, and restores an agent's SP. This is produced by performing Insight work.
Huh..! That's remarkably useless, isn't it?
That's right, Paul! There's almost no situation in which an agent would need their SP restored after a work with WellCheers. Very good for noticing! The third can appears from either Attachment or Repression work. It's a purple can, and restores both HP and SP.
We have footage of that too, right Miss Hod?
Unfortunately not! While working on Attachment, it seems Talow got a Bad work result-and you should never drink the offered soda while the work result is Bad.
Aww but it's free soda! Everyone loves free soda!
It seems like Talow agrees with you. Let's watch what happens, shall we?
Was that a boat?
Good eye, Paul! It appears as though Talow's been kidnapped and forced to live the rest of his life on a fishing boat instead of working for the very company which invested so much time and energy into training him.
How ungrateful! I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be than right here!
That's the way a good agent should think. It's also why our dormatories aren't just comfortable and expansive
Well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for joining us! And remember
Knowledge is just pain plus observation! Have a great day!
Good evening, future Managers. Let me start by asking you a question: Don't you hate it when a long-running and popular series adds on a new character, simply to try and remain relevant?
I don't need you to answer, of course. I hate it, myself, and that's all the answer any of us need. And yet my hand has been forced. What I wish to cover simply cannot be done from the perspectives of agent and Sephirot alone. There are some concerns which only a Manager can speak to, and only a Manager can understand.
Thus, I have come in this form. A new character, entering the fray but in such a way as to make clear that the project shouldn't be judged by their inclusion. If Paul and Hod are the beloved characters in this Saturday morning piece of edutainment then you need only think of myself as the PSA at the end. Now then Let us discuss Opened Can of WellCheers. Angela, the graphics.
WellCheers is the very definition of 'safe.' An Abnormality which cannot breach, nor do anything at all should it be ignored. So long as it is worked with Insight or Instinct, there is little chance of losing an agent to it. It is a non-threat second only to the likes of One Sin itself.
However, it is a choice which lacks ambition.
We are a power company. This Abnormality's energy output is simply abysmal. It can make a significant amount of gear, but that gear is entirely useless for dealing with anything more threatening than an Amber Dawn. Moreover, its unique trait renders it entirely useless to forcing our agents to be able to work on the more profitable Abnormalities without a significant expenditure of time and effort-two things which we, as a company, would prefer to spend on more lucrative prospects.
I will not be angry with you for taking the Opened Can of WellCheers. I may, however, be somewhat disappointed. Still, there is one important piece of information which has ever-eluded my grasp
Why exactly is it that no agent, no matter their mental wherewithal, can resist the siren's call of having a drink after working with this Abnormality? It's highly mysterious
Well. Perhaps some things are better left unknown. For now, this old man shall cease his ramblings.
Have you finished, A? It is well past the usual time for me to ask which wish you would prefer.
Yes, yes Come. Let us continue this endless rehearsal.
Next time's featured Abnormality
Opened Can of WellCheers
Opened Can of WellCheers (Part 1)
Opened Can of WellCheers (Part 2)