Part 185: BCP 14 - BloodbathX-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?
Episode 14: Bloodbath
Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Bloodbath!
Bloodbath is a TETH abnormality which takes on the form of a bathtub.
Full of blood! I get it, Miss Hod!
Very good, Paul! It requires some level of care to work with, but should be an easy enough Abnormality for even the most fledgling of managers to figure out quickly.
Then why do I have a whole posse this time, Miss Hod?
That's because you alone can't show off all of what Bloodbath can do.
Wowsers! Sounds like the bathtub has hidden depths!
Haha, good one, Paul! Like most bathtubs, it's important not to slip-if an agent falls in, they won't be coming out. Aside from that it's harmless to most agents, but any agent with a Fortitude or Temperance of level 1 should not be ordered to work with it.
Hey, my Temperance is level 1! That means we're about to find out why, right?
That it does! Give it a good Attachment work, Paul!
I've got it, Miss Hod! If I just talk with it from this side of the room, nothing bad can happen!
Remember, Paul: you can never truly be sure that you're safe anywhere near an Abnormality. Let's see what happens when the work finishes.
Yowie wowie! I just got pulled right into the tub!
That's not all. Your hand's now hovering there, on the surface of the water.
Who said bathtubs don't have waves?
This hand has the effect of increasing the energy output of the Abnormality. With one hand, we gain one additional point of energy towards our goal with each work we perform.
What about the unique boxes, Miss Hod? You know, the ones that let you get gear?
There's no change to them.
Then why would we ever use this?
Don't be silly, Paul! It's not for us to question the tools the Manager uses. Even if he simply wishes to make lemonade out of a lemon, it's important for us to give out all the options at hand.
I see! So it's like, 'you screwed up, but at least it's not a total loss,' right?
That's correct! It's even possible to get more energy by tossing an agent with low Fortitude in.
Remember, agents! If you max your pump, you won't drown in the bathtub! Probably!
With two hands in the tub, the energy bonus increases by two.
Wowsers, Miss Hod! And the PE box increase
There is none.
There is none.
Yowsers! That's harsh! But if two hands is good, three should be even better, right?
There's only one way to find out.
Plus observation! When the Bloodbath is at 3 hands, it changes slightly. To demonstrate, we'll be sending in D.A.D. to demonstrate the results of a work attempt with it.
The D.A.D? Wowsers! I can't wait to see them at work!
Phlebotomous porcelain, Miss Hod, they didn't even get to start working!
When enough despair and misery piles up, Bloodbath's pull can't be resisted by anyone. They'll walk over and let it pull them in regardless of their statistics, before Bloodbath resets itself to 0 hands. Thus, it's vital that any manager avoid working with it while it's in this state.
At least that's easy, since it doesn't have any kind of counter to activate!
Very true, Paul. Still, how the Manager uses this knowledge is up to him.
Kill two agents for a benefit so small it may as well not exist, or just work it without any deaths. Man, being a manager sounds complicated I don't know which one I'd pick!
Well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for joining us! And remember
Knowledge is just pain plus observation! Have a great day!
Good evening, future Managers.
Let's simply get this over with. Angela, the graphics.
Bloodbath is perfectly benign. It cannot harm you unless worked wrong-once our agents have more than even the barest training, it will never be anything but an asset to the facility. There is little reason not to take it, aside its lackluster gear, as it is safe.
Still... I do not like it. There is something about that bath which speaks to me. It reminds me of a day I swore not to forget, and yet couldn't bring myself to remember. It scratches at the edges of my memory, leaving a lattice of worry and concern upon my pons until I find myself off balance eyes trembling over dread something-a memory ever just out of reach.
...This morning, I saw Angela's true self again. I expect I'll see it many more times during this filming session.
Frankly, the sight of her disgusts me at this point. When she speaks, her voice is familiar, but cold. Devoid of the warmth which spurred us all on back then. Her features are just different enough to make clear what we'd done and that in the end I hadn't the heart to commit. I knew, even then. How could I not know? No pallid bit of scrap could ever replace our inspiration
Nevertheless, she is the warden of this jail, and like the prisoner she keeps watch over neither of us may leave. Unlike myself, however, she is a simple machine. Behaving as a machine, running through these loops for all of time, knowing they are her sole purpose-that should they ever end, her existence can finally terminate. Complete. One can only assume she must be happy to have such clear, simple purpose. Sisyphus himself could never hope to be so fulfilled.
...I did what had to be done. There were no errors in her-our judgment.
Next time's featured Abnormality