Part 186: BCP 15 - Happy Teddy BearX-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?
Episode 15: Happy Teddy Bear
Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Happy Teddy Bear!
Happy Teddy Bear, or A Teddy Bear as it's also known, is a HE-level Abnormality which takes the form of a well-loved teddy bear.
It looks so soft and cuddly! It's hard to believe this thing could hurt anyone!
Abnormalities are frequently full of surprises, Paul. Why not give working with it a try, and see what happens?
With pleasure, Miss Hod! I love learning about new sources of energy!
It's such a good listener, just like Mr. Snuggles in my room.
It certainly seems to like you, Paul. Would Mr. Snuggles get jealous if you were to work with it again?
Golly, Miss Hod, that's a really good question! Let me ask!
Mr. Snuggles says it's fine!
Alright then, let's see what happens this time.
Yowie wowie! It squeezed the air right out of me!
That's right, Paul! If any agent performs two works in a row on Happy Teddy Bear, it'll confuse them for its owner, and hug them tightly so that they can never leave it behind again. This is instantly lethal to any of our agents, regardless of their statistical prowess or resistances.
In the instance that this does happen, Miss Angela will also take the time to inform the Manager that this has transpired.
Golly, Miss Hod, the Angela saying the name of little ol' me? It feels like it's too good to be true!
I can understand why you feel that way, Paul! She is a perfect AI in every way, after all! And she reminds us of it at every opportunity
Whadja say, Miss Hod?
Oh, um n-nothing! Anyways, this is the one consideration to keep in mind for Happy Teddy Bear. As long as that's done, you'll be just fine, Manager!
Are you sure you're okay? You looked really weird for a second there
W-w-well, that's all the time we have today! Thanks for joining us! And remember
Huh?! What abou-
Oh! Uh-right, yes Miss Hod! Knowledge is just pain plus observation! Have a great day!
Good evening, future Managers. I was simply thinking about a funny program we always receive during the loops before you came in. Today's Abnormality is Happy Teddy Bear, wasn't it? Angela, the graphics.
Happy Teddy Bear is a complete nonthreat, like most Abnormalities which lack a Qliphoth Counter. It has one simple rule, and if followed there will be no trouble. It cannot breach, has no special abilities, and in return its gear is largely lackluster. I find it pairs well with The Little Prince-having two agents swapping between them is a very stable way to deal with both Abnormalities.
Enough of that, though the program that we receive from our mysterious benefactor, 'B.' I'm sure you've wondered by now, haven't you? Is it even a legitimate program? What if it were simply an override to perform some red flashes at an appropriate moment in the script. Can we truly say that Angela is lying to us? Perhaps it was B who set this up.
Make no mistake: the program is very real. Angela does lie, for the script requires it of her. A machine must behave as a machine, and our old self has made this one to lie. This does beg an important question how do I know for certain? Well-
Manager, your time for the day is up. We must handle the paperwork and preparations for the pending opening of our newest department. There are several agents who will need to be hired as well.
Ah, another time, I suppose. It is something of a tale, after all. For now, this old man shall cease his ramblings.
Next time's featured Abnormality
Happy Teddy Bear
Requirements: Fortitude 2
Requirements: Level 2
Happy Teddy Bear