Part 189: BCP 18 - Singing MachineX-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?
Episode 18: Singing Machine
Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Singing Machine!
Singing Machine is a HE-level Abnormality which takes the form of a meat grinder.
Is that what it is? Wowsers, you learn something new every day!
Singing Machine will activate its effect whenever an agent works it when its QC is 0, as well as when an agent finishes a work while having a Fortitude of 4 or higher, or Temperance of 2 or lower.
It's like walking a tightrope, but for your agent's numbers! With a Temperance of 1, I'll handle the work from here-right?
That's a very good way of putting it, Paul. However, we'll be having someone else take care of things.
Today's guest helper is VinnyDonuts, who has a Fortitude of 4! That means they're about to throw themselves in, right Miss Hod?
Good memory, Paul! Let's watch.
Holy shamoly, they just jumped right in there!
That's right, Paul. Moreover, that has the side-effect of playing music throughout the facility. This music will addict one employee within the facility, preferring to ensnare clerks over agents, and its own department above others.
Addict them? That sounds dangerous! What happens?
The addicted employee attempts to subdue others in order to throw them into Singing Machine.
Jumping jaundiceiphat! What happened to their eyes?!
That effect shows that they're under the sway of the Singing Machine. They'll continue to hit people with their stick until they've successfully killed one. At that point
They drag them off
And throw the body into the Singing Machine.
Yowsers! That's some real dedication to music!
That's right. Unfortunately, they've run into an agent just outside.
It's Lost! A perfectly average agent without any E.G.O, but with solid 3's across the board!
The clerks, even when crazy, are still clerks after all!
They may as well not count! Either way, I'm glad everything's been settled so cleanly.
Oh, Paul Paul, Paul, Paul. Remember what happens when Singing Machine plays?
Sure do, Miss Hod! An agent gets addicted!
And what happens when that agent throws someone into it?
It plays! Oh no! Look out, Lost!
Another clerk manages to take him down, and it's off to the Singing Machine!
Remember: enough nothing can overcome anything!
Speaking of which, another poor agent has suffered the same fate!
Yowie wowie! Dying I can handle, but being called a weakling is just hurtful!
It's important for the Training Team captain to be able to offer assessments when necessary, Paul-and you are weak!
It's why I need all this extra training, huh Miss Hod?
Luckily, the addicted Employees are no match for an agent with proper training. It's important to stay on top of them before they multiply, but even a single powerful agent should be able to take them down before they can attack.
Pugilistic perdition, Miss Hod! Is anyone left alive?!
It's very important to handle Singing Machine properly, in order to ensure this sort of situation cannot occur.
...Uh Miss Hod? That wasn't an answer..?
Well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for joining us! And remember
Knowledge is just pain plus observation! Have a great day!
Good evening, future Managers. I am not a fan of this particular Abnormality. Let's get into it. Angela.
The Singing Machine. It would make for a passable Insight trainer, were it not for its regrettable tendency to sow havoc across the entire facility. Its gift can and will push agents beyond the Fortitude mark at which they can work with it, negating the point of having agents dedicated to it, rendering it off-limits the remainder of the day. The only upside is that it does not immediately activate at 0 QC-letting us simply ignore it for the day.
For obvious reasons, this is frequently not an ideal situation. For our efforts, we get no suit, and a weapon which will render the person using it extremely vulnerable to attack. It hits like a truck, yes, but I prefer weapons which don't murder the agents.
It's a waste of energy unless an Abnormality does it.
I find it difficult to recommend on any level, for these reasons. There is nearly always a better Abnormality available to select in its place. There may be those who want to test its ability as a Prudence or Justice trainer, but well, to those Managers, I wish them luck.
Ah, you're still here?
I suppose you expected another tangent. Well I suppose I can indulge. I have a question for you. We are one of the Wings of the world, the supporters of the Head. Despite being their supporter, we nevertheless have Angela-an AI-which directly breaks one of their most important rules. Why do you suppose they haven't done anything?
...I don't have an answer for you. It's simply something I wonder from time to time. For now, this old man shall cease his ramblings.
Next time's featured Abnormality
Requirements: Level 2, Fortitude 2