Part 193: BCP 22 - Meat LanternX-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?
Episode 22: Meat Lantern
Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Meat Lantern!
Meat Lantern is a TETH Abnormality which takes the form of a fluffy mountain with a flower coming out of it.
It's very cute, Miss Hod! But in that way where it's the kind of cute that you can't tell why it's cute.
I find its flower charming, personally. Still, there's no time for that-it's time for us to get to work!
Righty-o! I'll grab my clipboard!
That won't be necessary, Paul.
Meat Lantern's counter drops either upon a Bad result, or when a work with it takes fewer than 40 seconds.
That basically means any agent with a Temperance level higher than 1 is going to let it out!
Good thinking, Paul! That's exactly right.
But what happens when it escapes?
Upon its counter hitting 0, Meat Lantern burrows out of its containment cell and hides somewhere within the facility. It does not allow the Manager to order suppressions by clicking upon its cell, so he's required to find it himself.
Good thing the Manager's got such a keen eye for details, and an incredible ability to get things done!
Right you are! Oh, I'm getting word that we've spotted Meat Lantern.
Here it is!
What? That's a flower.
It's the same thing as is normally on Meat Lantern's head, Paul. It's vitally important for the Manager to keep all agents away from the markings on either side of it. This represents the Meat Lantern's zone. Please note that the Manager has to manually order agents to engage with Meat Lantern, they will not do so on their own.
It still just looks like a flower to me, Miss Hod.
Well then, why not go over and give it a look!
Yowie wowie! That really wasn't a flower!
When an employee comes too close to its lure, Meat Lantern will bite down on it, dealing a massive amount of Red damage. In most cases, this is instantly lethal.
Doesn't that make it hard to suppress, Miss Hod?
Not at all! After all, if our employees don't come close then it can't attack.
That means Mr.Black can just fire from outside its range and take it out!
That's correct, Paul! Meat Lantern is very easy to let out, and just as easy to put back where it came from.
Just make sure not to step over any suspiciously glowy flowers, and you'll be fine!
Well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for joining us! And remember
Knowledge is just pain plus observation! Have a great day!
Good evening, future Managers. Grab yourself a bear and have a seat. This won't take long. Angela, graphics.
Meat Lantern somehow straddles the line between boring and annoying perfectly. Its breach practically does not matter, serving only to waste time when it is worked too well. However, there is no reason to really work with it. Its weapon is not particularly amazing, despite being an early source of Black damage. Its suit will serve well through the very early game, but beyond that falls off quickly like most TETH outfits.
If you decide you must take it and keep it, then I recommend building around the fact that a number of your clerks shall inevitably be preyed upon over the course of the day. It does not play well with the likes of Big Bird and its brethren. Netzach was complaining about it again today...
...Every time he shows up again, Netzach circles back to the same idea: He wants a beer machine. He doesn't seem to understand that having agents who are drunk isn't good for the workplace, saying that they'll die no matter how sloshed they are.
Honestly, I just think the Enkephalin isn't enough to take the edge off for him anymore. He has to deal with death every day, and the horrors of working in his department in a place like this have long since eaten away at him. It's a self-serving wish, to give himself another layer of intoxication and avoid doing his usual work.
Would it kill him to simply do his damned job? He's not the only one who faces the horrors of this place head on, day in and day out. I've never complained about it once, and Enkephalin? Why would I ever need something like that?
For now, this old man shall cease his ramblings.
Next time's featured Abnormality