Part 17: Hot Steampunk Robot Women
Hot Steampunk Robot Women
"Heh, remember when I melted the icecap and everybody thought the whole planet would be destroyed?"
"That was three minutes ago, Steve."
"And yet here it is, 8:53-"
"-right, or whenever, and it turns out to have had no detrimental effects whatsoever!"
"Perhaps not, but the canals are still dry. We'll need to head for the pump station."
"Nag nag nag."
The pumping station is kind of south of Elysium across a canal, then east along the south end. It's not really close to anywhere, which is kind of annoying; it's sort of a hike regardless of whether you start at Olympus or Elysium.
The water's flowing down here. All we've got to do is start the pumps.
There's a strange little side room here with a sprayer system and some rubber tubing in crates. The rubber attaches to the system, but there's nothing to spray on or spray with. This is relevant later.
But just for laughs, try using that panel when you come here. I don't want to spoil it, but basically in a game which is otherwise fairly clever there's a massive continuity break if you use that panel before you're supposed to. There's no harm done (it's just a conversation), but it might severely spoil the game if you just happen to poke it.
The pipes are a little worn down at the pump station. This steam would be instantly lethal. We won't be able to refill the canals... or will we?
With the polar icecap receding, we can find the lab of Kaxishek, the Martian roboticist.
His lab is run down, and sadly, there's no sign of Kaxishek himself anywhere. However, it seems he was successful in his endeavor. Lying on that table is a metal woman which seems rather familiar.
There's a broken robot in the center of the room. I guess it's possible that Kaxishek completed it and transferred his mind into the robot, but the robot later broke so we'll never know.
However, there's a functional robot here as well, hiding in a corner.
You see a golden metallic man.
The golden man is still, but you sense that he can answer you.
"Uhhhhhh, hey there, Mr. Robot."
"I am called Cutter. That is my designation. My appendages are fashioned to facet gems along the proper planes."
"Why would a robot designer require a gem cutting robot?"
"If I have the proper azurite gem, I can fashion a heartstone. This device will power the shell."
"We've got one of those. Can you make us one?"
"I could if I had power. My energy source, radium, has been exhausted."
"You're in luck, pal!"
"I do not believe I needed quite this much radium."
"Stop being such a baby and cut this gem."
Cutter takes the gem from Steve and works on it. Soon he brings back a beautifully faceted stone. "It is yours."
The heartstone works. Now we've got to carry a body. And that means...
"I freaking hate you, Steve."
And now back to the Hellas dream world.
"I fear for my safety, Madam. In nothing less than an indestructible body would I walk in the real world."
"Well then you're in luck!"
"You mean... of course! Kaxishek, Xaktsesh's crazy podmate. At least, we thought he was crazy. Then you've found his lab? Wonderful! It is good to know that he was finally a success. With Prektesh gone, it is my turn. I must be the next to attempt the transfer. If you place an inert body into the Dream Machine and activate it, I will be ready."
"I don't think you're ready for this."
You hope Chsheket will fare better in the metal body than Prektesh did in the Martian one. Chsheket turns to you, seemingly unharmed, and speaks.
"I can see that my services are no longer required. This lady should know as much, or more, about Mars than I do."
"Yeah yeah, because we all loved having you along soooooooo much."
"I will not take any arguments, Steve!"
"Arguments? No, by all means, get the fuck out of here!"
"I must withdraw from the party so that you may continue with this lovely lady."
"But that doesn't even make sense, Mr. Sherman."
"Uh, yes, well, besides, I should get back to my companions to see what trouble they've gotten themselves into while I've been away."
"Great, please, just go."
"Oh, and Steve?"
"See you in Ultima VII! WOOB WOOB WOOB!"
"CURSE YOU SHAMINOOOOOOOOO!"
And then Sherman stripped naked and ran off cackling into the Martian wilderness. No joke.
Oh right, sorry.
You see a woman, golden and shining.
"Greetings, person of Earth."
"I hope the next words out of you are 'take me to your leader.'"
The Martian doesn't answer. It looks in wonder at its metal body.
"I do suggest, Steve, that we spend some time testing this solution to make sure it is a viable one before we try any more transfers."
"You're just trying to distract me from the fact that you promised we could recruit any hot female robots we ran into."
"Yet in this case, I believe it is actually an extremely beneficial option."
"Aaaaaaaand that makes me any less right how?"
"I must agree wholecormedly doctor. I would not presume to endager any of my plantals without being sure of this plan's success."
"So what do we call you now?"
"I believe it would be best for me to use my own name for now. I look forward to conversing again later. Of course, I look forward to everything now that I am alive again!" She smiles. It is a strange sight with her golden face!
"He-llo there, what's this now?"
Chsheket, being a robot and all that, has no need for oxium as she does not breathe, and probably doesn't need clothes either because I don't think she gets cold. She may or may not be able to handle radium in her bare hands. She also has sky-high strength and tons of HP for a lv1 dual-classed Martian Ambassador/Robot. Damn min-maxers.
She's also immune to steam, which is convenient.
With familiarity no Earthling could have, "she" actuates the enormous valves.
"Ain't that something."
"I forgot, why are we even doing this again?"
"Who cares? It's pretty."