The Let's Play Archive

Mass Effect 3

by SubponticatePoster

Part 43: Fuck this, eat shit, blow me

Fuck this, eat shit, blow me

Sorry this took so long, I was car-shopping (a pain in the ass) and then I got a nasty cold (a bigger pain in the ass). Today was the first day I could talk without sounding like a frog gargling pudding.

We stop by the Citadel because the Asari councilor wanted to have a chat in Udina's office. But we're not there to talk about him, she's got this thing to help finish the Crucible. Because the Reapers finally showed up on Thessia. All we're told is it's an artifact at a temple. So off we go. When we arrive we find it pretty much in the state we left Earth: fucked. On the surface everything is nuts and we have to fight our way to our destination. A temple to the goddess Athame - the one referred to when you hear "by the goddess."

It's untouched by fighting and deserted except for a couple of corpses of the scientists. Oh, also Athame was actually a fucking Prothean and the "artifact" is a beacon which the Asari have been slowly raiding for info over millennia, effectively hax0ring their way to galactic supremacy. I brought Javik along for this exposition. If you don't have him, whoever you do bring keeps commenting that man, sure does look like a Prothean, doesn't it? We activate the beacon and crap, a pop up. After arguing with a computer we convince it to give us the final piece of the puzzle for the Crucible.

And then this mission goes right in the toilet.

Everyone's (un)favorite shithead shows up and you're treated to a bullshit sequence where you can barely damage his 100x usual shields and when you do he calls in a gunship to cover him while he regens, all the while insufferably spouting asshole dialogue. Get him down to just health and it's cutscene time where suddenly everyone becomes incompetent again, he makes off with our prize and Shep is somehow all torn up and sad about this. Instead of being furious with the Asari for keeping it secret. If there was a renegade option to say "fuck you, you deserve this" I'd take it 100% of the time. Traynor at least is still not an idiot so we have at least somewhere to go looking. There's angst everywhere and boo hoo, poor Thessia.

This mission actually made me angry the first time I played it. Instead of righteously calling out the Asari in front of everyone Shep's all mopey. Liara is at least understandably flummoxed by discovering her people were basically lab rats, but she ought to be pissed too. Also the Kai Leng this is utter bullshit. Like if it'd just been a fair fight and he chickens out once he gets his ass kicked that'd be one thing, but his supar awesomest ninja shit is just fucking annoying. Instead of looking for the catalyst they should just duct tape him to whatever planet is currently being reaped since his plot armor is indestructible and makes everyone in proximity into drooling imbeciles.

Anyway, with a destination and sort-of plan, we'll head to Sanctuary next. Only 2 missions to go before the end, though we'll do at least one more MP map and some chats.