Part 6: Hard Man

Stage Comments:
This stage is similar to Needle Man's as in it's completely based around damage taken from enemies to wear you down. Most of the same enemies, even. Sadly, contrary to Needle's, it's rather bland.
Bees at the start spice it up; they fly too high up to be taken out in advance, so you'll have to deal with atrocious slowdown and Chibees. Bustering them is theoretically the same as needling, seeing as they take the same damage, but I can't shoot the buster as fast as the cannon shoots itself. Spread, as said, helps also. The following traps are somewhat pointless, as there's no reason to stop; later though...but I'm getting ahead of myself. After a lot of filler rooms and a very gracious E-Tank, the monkeys start to annoy; one of the biggest pests in the game, fortunately there are methods to cope. Then the hardest screen in the stage, traps and a reason for you to take their time; devilish placement, great design. Almost made it! Then mystery guy (in his only challenging incarnation), sudden end. Meh.

Boss Strategy:
Very rigid pattern, and as a result extremely easy. A popular starting point of mine because I love the hell out of Hard Knuckle. First two homing fists, then the jump, he buries his head in the ground like a retarded Ostrich (they don't actually do this), making everything freeze...which is totally pointless, as nothing is attacking you while you're frozen! Fortunately, as there's no avoiding it. The only thing you should never do is get hit by him dropping down; it takes out half your health. Damage race automatically lost in that case, better chug that E-Tank.
As said, I've got no idea on how to dodge the fists...okay, a small one: Let the first one shoot at ground level, jump right as the second one gets fired to lure it upwards, the first one passes under you harmlessly, then slide under the second one as it turns around, then jump over the first one's return trip.
Yeah. Tank that shit. Dodging almost never works and makes you lose the damage race. Turning around in time to shoot a load in his ass makes winning easier...
...oh fuck I wanted to avoid dick jokes WELP
_{seriously, his design is just fucking ridiculous all around}

Enemies:

???: _{Hey, we haven't seen you for one whole video! Useless shield guy is back for revenge and the terrain is far more suited to his never-changing pattern. My method this time is jumping over his shots and him from the middle platform; it's rather specific and as a result, I get hit a lot. Definitely the hardest of the encounters with him. Though I might have overlooked a far easier method of dealing with him.
He's immune to most special weapons, by the way, showing again the Needle Cannon really is just a straight upgrade for the main gun.}

Bouncer:

Returning Monking: _{The monkeys in Wood Man's stage were the Monkings, so this is where the name comes from. Strange choice.
I hate those guys. They take ages to move their ass down to your level, the delayed turn speed really hurts your shooting them timely, and then they hang again...but never long enough for Mega to run away, as shown in the video. Annoying, tedious, fuck them. Not even Shadow Blades help much. Though...they do make one certain weapon seem almost useful. I won't get to show it off, so minor spoiler be damned: Freezing them as they're jumping behind you with Spark Man's weapon means you can run away freely, this takes probably the least amount of effort, so YAY SPARK SHOCK...I guess?}

Hammer Joe: _{Been there, done that.}

Neo Metall: _{Hey, you again...yeah, Hard Man's stage really isn't all that memorable just from enemy selection alone.}

Picket Man Bull: _{Most harmless placement yet. Having a weapon with high damage helps a lot, of course.}

Have "Su" Bee: _{Okay, there's definitely a joke I'm not getting. Those are really obnoxious. Fly in from the left, with a protective hive below; a quick Shadow Blade can take them out, but requires good timing...and a height you don't have in this level. Another upwards-shooting weapon gets cockblocked by the hive bomb. Which explodes, and it's timed exactly right so that you cannot slide under. If you can't take out the Queen quickly, you will have to face the Chibees (); now that's a cute name! Those are best dealt with by rapid-firing, seeing as we don't have an AOE weapon. Oh Metal Blades. You were broken for so many reasons. Killing them is a must, as they'll follow you constantly; many a run through this stage was ended by countless stings, I sometimes wake up screaming at night. Monkeys still are worse, though.}

Wanaan: _{Don't stand still, dumbass! Oh yeah, sadly the edge of the green platform isn't safe either, I tried. Curse those hitboxes.}

Music:

Hard Man _{- DAMN that's catchy. I find myself whistling this one constantly, it and the title; other songs I like more, but the melody just gets to me. Also a blast to play on the piano.}