Part 20: Minigame horrorshow.
Fuckup Tally: 233
Consistency shows up in the damnedest places!
All of the scenarios for soul Navis are either a case of bland or torturous, as this update will show, but I love just how contrived this is. The guy who's been shooting at you and doing everything possible to basically murder you is somehow now your friend.
Fuckup Tally: 234
How refreshing, a familiar face from MMBN3. No BugStyle or no-damage challenges THIS time, MetalMan will be a piece of cake!
Fuckup Tally: 235
Protagonist-Centric Amnesia is a terrible illness that affects over 60% of all NPCs. Support the fight against PCA!
This scenario is horrible. Horrible, horrible, horrible.
It has about all the personality and subtle grasp of linguistic charm that he does, sure.
Lan, obviously, responds that he couldn't possibly. It's a giant boulder, the same sprite that's been reused in nearly every game for that matter.
Despite Tamako's confidence, all she gets out of it are a few broken bones in her fist. Oh well, credit where due for trying.
And this is her reasoning as well.
Yeah sure, go ahead, berate Lan for one of his rare displays of intelligence. Mind you, this could have been an elaborate test involving a fake boulder made of styrofoam or something, but that kind of setup would just be silly.
Ugh. No, Tamako isn't going to give us the privilege of fighting her in the tournament so long as our fighting spirits are weak. This is like a slap in the face, I've spent the last ~3 games being a bloodthirsty megalomaniac, and nope, scenario dictates that Lan needs fighting spirit.
Kung Fu time. We need to go see Tamako's master and learn...something related to fighting spirit. An incredibly infuriating minigame awaits us!
So once we get the training crap or whatever done, we come back here, and...something. We really aren't told what we're in for.
Fuckup Tally: 236
"Yeah, we don't have an explanation for this. Suck it up."
Tamako gave us the key for this door in TownArea2. It leads to TownArea4, but there's nothing of note aside from a straight pathway on the side.
ThE mAsTEr iS aN OLd dRUnk.
Yup. Fetch quest time.
To my immense surprise, nobody is in the back of ParkArea3!
Although while I'm in the area, I get my promised rematch with VideoMan.
VirusCleaner is apparently Navi Alcohol. The very idea of "Navi Metabolism" being ridiculous aside, it's kind of funny in a way, in that antimicrobial alcohol is something you seriously do not want to drink.
"You want summa DIS whiskey?"
Ah fuck, one of these...now where can you get those, again?
.... Oh HA HA FUCKING HA, CAPCOM.
One zenny grinding interlude later...
...Followed by a subsequent, shorter repeat....
And there we go. At least it's readily available and not in some obscure location.
Fuckup Tally: 237
No you fucking DID NOT! For the love of crap, not only is it a fetch quest, it's a fetch quest where the NPC only tells you he wants more than one item if you talk to him after the first time!
I can't fault his taste in snacks though. Mmmh, jerky...
Finally! Alright, let's learn whatever techniques these are. Will we be mopping floors, pitting ourselves against powerful enemies, meditating under a CyberWaterfall?
Nope, this is boulder-punching class! Using the exact same sprites as when MegaMan was smacking viruses away from the pan in Flave's scenario. So that was why they made the little chef's hat a separate sprite. Oh, Capcom...
Anyway, you press A in front of a rock to bring up a bar. Press A at the right time when the cursor is within a small zone in the middle, and MegaMan breaks the rock. There are 3 levels though, and the cursor moves faster and faster each time.
I do not give a shit if she accepts me or not, all that matters is the fight anyway!
Fuckup Tally: 238
Fighting Spirit, Telepathy...eh, same deal.
The end of this scenario needs to be seen, however. Up until now, this has been tedious and boring, par for the course. I'm not even going to describe it, watch the fucking video:
This is hell.
Out of my sheer fucking hatred for you?
Fuckup Tally: 239
God DAMN it Capcom!
For once, the introductions are succinct and fitting. Fight of the fucking century, folks!
My revenge for the boulder shit sadly backfired.
Not sure if this is a Fuckup...may be intentional for the character...
And alright, fine, I agree with that sentiment. Too bad all of my opponents suck. Hog Butcher, I really hope whatever you concoct is suitably amusing.
Ooh, a 3-in-1! That's a hat trick!
Fuckup Tally: 242
Also, as I left it open last playthrough, yes, the laser is red in Red Sun.
Fuckup Tally: 243