Part 29: You Do Not Talk About Knight Club
Update 28: You Do Not Talk About Knight Club
"Come on, everyone: it's time to hunt down the Dread Knight!"
"Okay, so where the hell is the Dread Knight?"
"Isn't he supposed to hang around Jouster's Way, southwest of Middlegate?"
"Yeah, that rings a bell. Let's head southwest, then!"
"Call it a hunch, but I don't think this is Jouster's Way."
"And if those are jousters, they really need to find some horses and lances, not to mention--"
"You're trying to silence a group of knights? How dumb are you? We can't cast spells in the first place!"
"Great, another one of these. Anyone want to guess what this one says?"
"It says: ' h dd bmr y irdao v .a gpfprea orn ew ia'".
"How the hell's that supposed to help us, you idiot?"
"But it does say--"
"How about we just keep moving before I find out whether all this stupidity is contagious?"
"Who, me? What about me?"
"What? I'm what? Don't leave me in suspense like this!"
"'U R D'? I'm D? Who's D?"
"But I'm not D!"
"Then why did you say you were?"
"I don't know!"
"Maybe these messages make sense if you spell them backwards. What's a Futeec?"
"Could it be like a futon that you buy in a boutique? Are all of these green messages advertising a shop that sells fancy bedding products?"
"I really don't think we're gonna find any knights here. Maybe we're meant to be on the other side of the river."
"Oh yeah? We'll see about that!"
"I don't think this guy looks like the Dread Knight..."
"Who cares? We can still kill him."
Easier said than done. The Jouster has 500 HP and a whopping 50 armour class, so most of the party's attacks won't land any hits at all.
He's got a pretty mean attack of his own, too. Unfortunately for him, attacking is all he can do. All we have to do is use Magic Herbs to revive anyone who's knocked unconscious while we slowly whittle him down.
"Was that a horse he was riding, or just a one-trick pony?"
The Jouster drops fairly good equipment: this armour's going to find a good home.
"I saw it first!"
In any case, that was not in fact the Dread Knight. A couple of steps further north, though...
"Looks like we've got an audience now."
"Well, ladies, watch this. By the time I'm done here, I'm gonna be the most feared knight in Cron."
"What the hell is that conjurer doing on the battlefield?"
"Whatever he was doing, he's not doing it any more."
The Dread Knight is just a weaker version of the Jouster. Only 300 HP, 28 AC...
... and the same painful but non-life-threatening physical attack.
"Bah. He wasn't even worth a decent amount of experience."
"Hey, I wonder what kinda treasure he's got!"
"Why did we even bother to bring a robber along?"
"I was hoping for a good fight and I didn't even get any good loot. So much for the Dread Knight."
"Well, look on the bright side..."
"... or should I say, the plus side."
"Yeah, okay, this isn't so bad. It's gonna make it even harder to find anyone who can put up a fight against me, though."
"It'd be nice if we found a place to boost accuracy so I could swap out this gauntlet for a Defense Ring or something."
"So now that I've been honoured with a plus, am I Baron von Murder or what?"
"These weapons are no good."
"Looks like you got whatever junk they could find in the stores to kit you out in. Sucks to be you, Flailer, and not just because you're anatomically incorrect."
"Was I always a mountaineer? Did they make me one for this quest? I forget."
"Hey, what are you doing with my Honor Sword? Give that to me!"
"Well, I got what I wanted outta this quest. I just went right from underpowered to badass overnight and I didn't even have to do a good job at the one thing I was brought along to do!"
There goes another update, and another character class that's now horribly overpowered in comparison with the rest of the party. Shall we uplift a third class to greatness next time? If so, which one? There are still Paladin, Ninja and Sorcerer hirelings that we haven't yet collected, so doing one of those classes' plus quests would require a small sidequest first. Alternatively, we could finish Lord Hoardall or Lord Slayer's quests. It's all up to you, dear readers! Vote now!