Part 47: Making History
Update 45: Making History
"If we're going to go back in time and save King Kalohn, we should at least check with Queen Lamanda first to see if there's a reward in it for us."
"Wait, she's not letting us help because we're not good enough for her? Screw this, I'm out of here."
"Aw, don't be like that, man. We've come too far to give up! We all have our Plus already, so all we need to do is win the Black Ticket Triple Crown, right? How hard can that be?"
Our first order of business is to stop by the blacksmith in Atlantium and pick up three Black Tickets, then head to Middlegate's arena.
As Black Ticket battles in Middlegate go, this one is pretty middle-of-the-road. Vampires have 250 HP and can cast Lightning Bolt for maybe 70 damage to the whole party. Of course, they're undead, so any party with Holy Word can just blow them away.
"This would be a lot more exciting if we hadn't just earned tens of millions of gold pieces by fighting Ancient Dragons."
Next stop, the Monster Bowl in Sandsobar!
Chancellors are a joke. They can sometimes cast Super Shock for loads of damage (400 points or more) to a single character, but they just die so easily.
See? Even they know they're not gonna win this one.
"Come back and face your death like a man, you coward!"
We get 30,000 gold for our trouble, and mosey on down to the Colosseum in Atlantium.
"Bugs? This is the most dangerous arena in Cron, and they're making us fight a bunch of bugs?"
I think these things might be able to spray poison on the party or something, but I've never actually seen them do so. They're pretty lame. Some of the other monsters the arena can spawn are stronger, but then again, not much can stand up to a level 100+ party. The Triple Crown can probably be completed around level 20 with decent stats and equipment, or lower if you use a level-boosting fountain.
"Woohoo! Black Ticket Triple Crown, here we come!"
We get 50,000 gold for our victory, not that we need it.
"Before we visit Queen Lamanda, we may as well purchase this key to free the Black Bishop imprisoned in her castle."
"Why'd you bother doing that? We could have earned 40 times more experience killing some Cuisinarts, and it wouldn't have cost us anything!"
"As I understand it, I should currently at least be attempting to do good deeds."
"We have already met with Lord Peabody. All that remains is to reclaim the Elemental Talons in the name of Cron. Let us begin with the Elemental Plane of Air!"
First stop: area A-1. The Air Encasement and Air Transmutation spells are hidden in this area if you need them, although Preacher already bought that all-the-spells-in-the-game deal anyway.
One Air Transmutation spell later, the party is ready to travel to the other side of the portal.
"Ah, 'ahaurr': the perfect exclamation to use when you're not sure whether you suddenly understand something or are still completely confused by it."
"Thanks to you, that's a feeling I know well."
As you'd expect, the Elemental Plane of Air is full of air elementals, the weakest kind of elemental. They can breathe cold for up to 250 damage to the whole party, but rarely do so. Even the hydras aren't much of a threat any more.
Lord Shalwend bellows, "How dare you invade my plane! Die intruders!"
"Hey, we're not the ones who went and declared war on the people of Cron like a big jerk."
"Seven centuries before your time, I came to this world, claimed my domain within it and defended it against the forces of Water. Do you think that I, Shalwend, Lord of Air, can be defeated by mere mortals?"
"You've forgotten the first rule of adventuring, Shalwend..."
"If it has a stat block, we can kill it."
Shalwend can invoke power to damage the party, and his physical attack causes eradication. He never even gets the chance to attack.
"Adandasio? Isn't that some kind of musical term?"
"Oh, don't you start. It's bad enough when it's just Jostiband."
"We now have what we came here for. I suggest that we return to Cron."
The elemental planes are not very exciting to look at.
Neither is Area A-1, for that matter.
Since the elemental planes are technically located in the past, returning to Cron is just a matter of resting until we randomly get zapped back to the present.
Next up, Area E-1 and the Plane of Fire!
"Neiuamayl is an obscure Mesopotamian deity. Owone Boll, Uwe Boll's lesser-known half-brother, is currently in negotiations to produce a biopic about his life and achievements."
"How in the name of Radaso (may his light shine eternally) did you get that out of that message?"
"We fire elementals are the perfect weapons, created by Lord Acwalandar in ancient times to defend against the forces of Air! I have heard news of what you did to Shalwend, mortals, but you will find that you are no match for me!"
"Okay, seriously, what's with all the druids? How did they even get here, why aren't they burning to death, and why would you possibly think they could do anything to help defend you?"
"Oh, them? I just like to listen to them chanting sometimes. It's relaxing."
Pyrannaste is pretty much the same as Shalwend, except that instead of invoking power he breathes fire. Also, he has more HP, so it takes 2-3 attacks to kill him instead of 1-2.
"Finally, I can use my Star Burst spell in the service of a good cause!"
"This cannot be! How can you evade my attacks?"
"Too bad beings of pure flame can't wear Defense Rings, huh?"
"Huh. I never knew fire elementals had such strong political opinions."
"We only need two more talons before we are ready to save King Kalohn!"
"Y'know, when you think about it, Sandsobar's alarmingly close to the Plane of Earth. It's surprising that occasional earthquakes are the only real trouble it gets."
"Well, here goes nothin'!"
"What? But everyone knows that the oyster fork goes on the right-hand side, even if you are on an airplane!"
"Jostiband, I am beginning to suspect that you just make these interpretations up as you go along."
"You dare to challenge Gralkor, Lord of Earth, who conquered the elemental lords before your pathetic race even existed? Cron is my world, and humans are but insects that crawl across it! Those who defy me will be crushed!"
"Sorry to tell you this, buddy, but having 200 more HP than the last guy isn't gonna save you."
"Is that the best you can do? I came here hoping for a real fight, but you're hopeless. I've had enough of you."
Hey, Gralkor dropped an interesting item we haven't seen before! The Meteor Bow casts Meteor Shower when used, which is basically a weaker version of Star Burst. (There's also a Star Bow, which actually casts Star Burst, but it's even rarer.) It's weaker than the Ancient Bow as a weapon, but worth holding onto for its special ability.
"Hey, that last word is an anagram for 'elements hurt thy wit'! And it's true! I can't think of anything witty to say at all!"
"Hey, guys, weren't these talons supposed to be sealing the elementals away or something? I mean, isn't that why King Kalohn put them here in the first place? I sure hope we're not gonna cause some kind of horrible disaster by taking them back, just to save some king who's already dead."
"We wouldn't make very good adventurers if we knew how to leave well enough alone, would we?"
"This is it: the moment of truth. The last elemental plane."
"I think this one says something about avenging a secret lich. Gothmog, did someone do something to you that needs avenging?"
"As far as I can recall, the only people who fit that description are the ones I am currently travelling with."
"This one's just a Gone Fishin' sign written by someone with very poor literacy skills and an even worse idea of where to go to find fish."
"Wait a minute..."
"Now that we have all the red messages, and the interleave from Castle Xabran, we can put them together!"
To right ancient wrongs, the solution is very long. The Triple Crown must first be done, with Arena, Monster Bowl, and Colosseum to be won. Next, the party must split individually so that each may fulfill their personal destiny. Request an audience with the Queen so the Chosen One can be seen. Travel through time with Talons and Orb, save the dead King from destruction, and get the password. Then visit the lake geometrics to find passage to that which you must hurriedly fix. JVC
"We've done most of that stuff already, but what's the 'lake geometrics'? Well, I guess we'll find out after we've saved the king."
"I should thank you, mortals. You have defeated my rivals for me: once I have dealt with you, it will be a simple task to destroy your species and reign supreme over Cron once more. I, Acwalandar, was the first of the elemental lords, and I shall be the last!"
"You know what? You've got a really stupid-looking face, and I'm about to smash it in."
Acwalandar is the strongest of the elemental lords, but if you can kill the other three, there really shouldn't be anything stopping you from killing him too.
"Why? Why will your frail human body not dissolve into the primal ocean where all life belongs? How can such pitiful creatures stand against the forces of nature? Our power is beyond your comprehension!"
"You elementals created the world of Cron with your endless battles, and yet you understand nothing about the life that has arisen on it. Power is the only law you know, and hatred the only emotion. How can you ever hope to imagine what it means to defend the world and the people you love? I understand your power all too well, Acwalandar: I see it at work in Cron every day. I see humans driven to hatred and murder by greed, envy or simple cruelty, and the sight of it cuts deeply into my soul. But in this world that you have created and now seek to destroy, I have also seen love, and sacrifice, and forgiveness."
"And I pity you, because you will never understand the power that drives humanity!"
"You may defeat me, but my finest creation, the Mega Dragon, has already killed your precious King Kalohn and plunged your world into chaos! What good will your human virtues do you now?"
"You're supposed to be dead already. Stop talking."
"It is done. The four Elemental Talons are finally in our hands."
"Now, we must return them to their rightful owner, so that he may destroy Acwalandar's last foul creation!"
"You're really getting into this whole not-being-evil thing, aren't you?"
"They're all yours. Now go kill that dragon!"
"Hey, don't mention it, dude. See you in the future!"
"Gertrude not get joke, but Gertrude pretty sure Gertrude smash puny jester if Gertrude still evil now."
"Now wait just one minute. What's going on in Square Lake, how do you know this password, and if you're powerful enough to kill the Mega Dragon why can't you just--"
"Less talking, more world-saving. Off with you to Square Lake now!"
Tune in next time for the thrilling conclusion to Let's Play Might & Magic II!