Part 8
Ahem. During the recent storm which cause our communications array to go down for a number of days, some startling rumours began to be spread
in this very training camp! Apparently, there are some people who believe I am possessed by some sort of demon or The Devil Himself. There are also those who believe I am Her Majesty, the Queen Of England--who, let's face it, is basically just a figurehead in Canada at this point. I'd like to respond to these allegations in kind.
It may be true that I have become a bit, uh, overzealous as of late, but make no mistake: my dedication to the Canadian Government and its Military is unwavering. I'd like to think we can put this all behind ourselves and move on to more important things, such as completing the Stage 3 training. It'll be a difficult romp, I know, but I believe we can do it.
And to make sure we do, I'm going to be screening some of your moves. Some of you suicidal bastards wanna just watch the world burn.
While I appreciate the blood-- *cough* --sorry. While I appreciate your dedication to this country, it's important that at least
some of you pass this training. So without further ado, let's get on with it.
unwantedplatypus posted:
Sir! I think a mine on A3 is being shockingly impolite. Investigating the area and telling him off now sir!
JamieTheD posted:
Oh, Linda, I'll miss you! Right, Hillary, you're up next, ol' girl, go to E10!
...What's that, sir? Oh, Welsh Marines have to give their all, Sir! In this particular case, means my exes, sir! Aren't they beautiful, Sir!
inflatablefish posted:
Moving to take point on D12, sir!
Oblivion4568238 posted:
Hey! Hey! Deserting American right here! D6! I figured you'd be happy to let me blow up! I even bolded the important bit so you wouldn't skip my last post! But it didn't work!
That's very good, soldiers. You're doing fine work.
berryjon posted:
Sir! New deployment to B17, Sir!
You, uh *ahem, AHEM* appear to have messed up, soldier. My condolences.
sharkbeard posted:
My gut instinct tells me that B6 is a safe place, Sir.
If something happens to me feel free to make a comment about how my guts went flying everywhere, sir.
Good job, you're doing the Lord's work.
Shinarato posted:
Sir, permission to deploy to K21. A pleasure to serve with you, Sir!
Ah heh heh, *ahem* sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but you went and messed up Pvt. sharkbeard's effort there. Heh heh, "a pleasure to serve with you" indeed!
rizzen posted:
Sir! I have a good feeling about M14, sir!
HOTLANTA MAN posted:
Sir, requesting dustoff at point J6.
It's been an honor serving, sir.
biosterous posted:
Sir, the viewscreen is too small for us to make proper decisions! I'd like to hit F11 so we can use fullscreen!
Bombogenesis posted:
G24, sir! I will continue jumping on things at random until I explode, sir! For Canada!
David D. Davidson posted:
Sir, Comms are reestablished, permission to engage hostile at point c10 Sir!
ANIME MONSTROSITY posted:
I have moral objections to following advice of someone called "anihilated", especially on a minefield. G13.
Perhaps you should've gone with Pvt. anilEhilated's plan, Pvt. ANIME MONSTROSITY. Cause now your soul is feeding the Lord Of Chao--uhh, the Conservative Government of Cana--uhh the
Harper Government.
Harper Government. That's what I meant to say all along.
inflatablefish posted:
Excellent. Ready to move out to I13 for Queen and country, Ma'am!
Highest Cactus posted:
Neigh, for me.
Send the war horse to K9 because there isn't a letter-number pun for horses that I'm aware of
nine-gear crow posted:
I still can't believe this thing has racked up nearly as many posts as the Killzone LP in nearly a fourth the time. Clearly we're wasting our time trying to analyze an FPS series as high Shakespeare...
Either that or we need to find a way to shoehorn Sgt. Apone into the series' narrative in some way.
A7, by the way.
NewMars posted:
A9 Sir, me grandnan always says to me "why my little bingra-jinga boy, you've got to go to A9 you do. Senility's harsh like that. But I'm a good boy and always listen to me nan!
cucka posted:
Put me somewhere. It doesn't matter where, but i think the left might be safer.
Hahahahaaa! I swear, I swear, I didn't intend to blow you up, Pvt. cucka! I thought the corner would be your safest bet!
*ahem* Excuse me. Right, so my--uh, we'll call them "higher" ups--have requested that I help you along a bit. After all, Canada needs soldiers in its Legions of Undea--uh, Understanding and Compassionate Peacekeepers. So I'm to give you grids that have been partly started in order to help expedite your training and give you the opportunity to use flags in the field.
Some mighty fine minesweepin'.
legoman727 posted:
Commander, what does that - button do? I don't know, but I want to *presses it*
...Oops.
I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL.
*ahem* Shit--uh, the, uh, Canadian Military has no room for traitors in its midst. Let Pvt. legoman727 be a lesson to all you soldiers. If you attempt to sabotage our training, you will be summarily executed. Inform Pvt. legoman727's family. Now you may think these methods are extreme, but my quick actions have saved our grid and we can continue as if nothing happened. Cpl. RickVoid?
Oh, uh--too bad about Cpl. RickVoid.
C'mon, let's keep it up!
Mmmhmm. Badasses. You all thought I forgot, didn't you? Naw, I havin't forgotten. I just, uh, had to set my affairs in order. No, we're gonna finish basic. You're gonna graduate from this military academy. You're gonna go on to be proud Canadian soldiers.
GNU Order posted:
SIR, CHECK THE FOLLOWING SQUARES
THIS UNIT NEEDS A BOOST IN MORALE, WHICH THIS CHEEKY SMILEY FACE WILL PROVIDE, SIR
Hahaha, not likely. Though you've certainly boosted my morale.
Alright, people, let's get back on it. We're gonna start again fresh, apologies to those eager to get onto the previous grid but, ah, Pvt. GNU Order is sort of in the way--if you get my meaning. Come on now, let's get this grid swept!
Grimwit posted:
I agree with the four corners start, but there is compromise.
Sir, I'd like to volunteer for the top-right and Bottom-right corners.
Anyone want to risk the top-left and bottom-left? Or are you too good for the 4-corner strategy?
habeasdorkus posted:
Of course, this is why I'm an officer and you're all grunts...
Not in
my army,
Pvt. habeasdorkus.
GSD posted:
Square two spaces to the left of the bottom right, sir!
Dexie posted:
Sir! New recruit fresh out of training, sir!
I will gladly volunteer for the top-left corner, sir!
That's what I like to see: some eager rookies.
Bobbin Threadbare posted:
Sir, squares B26, D26, D27, E27, and E29 are mines, sir. All others adjacent to the open area are clear.
Neige posted:
If I understand this writing correctly...
B26 and E29 are not mines. At least, we can't be certain of that. D27 (otherwise known as "that little square jutting out") is most definitely the mineliest mine that ever mined, but that means that out of B26, C26 and D26 (and similarly for E27, E28 and E29), two of these are mines and since it can't be BOTH B26 and C26, D 26 must be a mine. And since that 1 just above the 3 is either a 1 because of either B26 and C26, I know that A26 is safe for clicking.
Mmm, now we're gettin' somewhere!
Slimnoid posted:
Sir, I have a good feeling about D6, sir!
Sometimes those "good feelings" work out, soldier. Except when they don't. Make sure you don't get overconfident.
Neige posted:
AHHHHHHH I CAN'T HELP MYSELF!!!
Click A25, B25, C25 and D25.
I'M AN OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE MINESWEEPER!!!!!
Sir.
Gorgo Primus posted:
Sweep 7 spaces up from the bottom left corner, Sir!
I understand, Pvt. Nei--
Pvt. Gorgo Primus, you've gone and messed up the board!
GNU Order posted:
AAAH! Sir, I'm hit!
I don't think I'm gonna make it, Sarge......
Tell my wife and kids...
I said....
sorry
All family of the deceased are granted one 2L bottle of 100% pure maple syrup from Grade A Ontario sugar maples. Your government thanks you for your service.
Dexie posted:
Sir! I'll take on extra duty this time! I'll gladly brave the top-left, bottom-left, and bottom-right corners, sir!
But not the top-right corner. The top-right corner seems ominous to me.
Funny, cause it was the bottom-right that was ominous. Goodnight, Private.
mateo360 posted:
I would still like to go to E7 on the new field sir.
Bombogenesis posted:
L13, sir. I can only hope my exploded bits hit that smug-ass smiley face.
A good choice, soldier. Let's try not to screw this up. Pvt. Bombogensis, your square is fine as well--it just didn't reveal anything other than a single "1", so I didn't include it in the grid marker.
mateo360 posted:
I will now jump to G17 sir.
Way to go, Pvt.
