Part 13: You're in the Jungle, Baby
Sweating the cheat out [Sep 12th, 1002|7:42 pm]
[Current Mood| tasty]
[Current Music|Creed - Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus God Jesus Love Jesus (Extended Mix)]
We're going to start off Rash's training with some good old fashioned rock throwing.
Oh no we're not.
Oh yes we are! Big ones, too. Get the plow.
You do realize that if he dies, you'll be held responsible.
I am a training genius!
Alright, Mr. Genius. What do we do next?
Next we feed it the bird.
We are NOT doing that.
Oh yes we-ow! My shins!
I said NO!
Fine! Ow! I said fine! Stop kicking! God, you're like a pitbull. I guess we'll send it studying, then... Jeez, that smarts...
I still don't trust that toucan, though.
You can worry about Joy later. We have something better to look into right now.
Whoop! A whole month off. Let's send Rash's rashy butt to do some brain smartening.
"Brain smartening", hmm? I see your monster has a lot to live up to in terms of intelligence.
Do you want to take the bird, too?
I'd sooner garrote myself with a urine-encrusted fishing line.
Is that a yes?
Please get out of my office.
The first week of our intelligence training involves a foot race with our running monkey, "Mr. Chimpers". Your suezo managed to successfully out-run our monkey with some relative ease. We later found "Mr. Chimpers" face-down in his feed bowl. It almost looks as though he was drugged.
Our second stage of training forces your monster to overcome a rather large ravine. Most monsters on this course construct some sort of crude bridge or rope to swing across.
"Rash" opted for a more direct course of action.
Much to my chagrin, it managed to not only survive the jump, but actually made it across.
Week the Third involves potholing up a poorly-lit cavern.
We lost most of our documentation on this week, however, it is presumed your monster managed to scale the cave, as he did make it through to the final course:
I should let this course speak for itself.
This lovely creature is Koko, our battle gorilla. Your monster's final task in this course is to avoid being smashed by Koko's prodigious fists.
While "Rash" would have completed the course simply by remaining behind the tree, it seemed to feel rather, shall we say, sassy?
That is no misinterpretation. Your monster did indeed lick at Koko's posterior. I am not entirely sure as to why it did what it did, but rest assured that I am thoroughly disgusted.
It seemed as though Koko was not amused, either.
And with that, your monster's training period ended. He was unable to finish the course, and did not gain any new attacks.
I'll disappoint it with my fist!
Not even a little?
I have rocks.
That is such a waste of perfectly good cake.
You wouldn't have liked it. It was made out of cup jelly. Which reminds me, I got another diamond!
What do you get for that, anyway?
I dunno. I bet it's cute, whatever it is. Speaking of prizes, it's time for the official tournaments.
What do you want to do?
I'll be right back with my answer.
You're going to ask the internet again, aren't you?
Don't be silly. Ha ha ha. The internet. No, I'm going to use a magic 8-ball.
Oh, ok then.
Guys, what should I do? D Cup, C Cup or just train Rash some more? The 8-ball just told me to ask again later, and I don't have that kind of time!