Part 47: Duck Hits a Wall
Next time, Ducken. Next time. [Mar 30th, 1011|8:23 pm]
[Current Mood| well, crap.]
[Current Music|Spice Girls - Seek and Destroy]
We're gonna keep trying until we win, or everyone is dead. You ready, Colt?
Onward, Ducken! TO VICTORY!
On paper, he at least stands a chance.
The paper, of course, fails to mention my Ducken's ability to drop bombs.
Holy crap we just blew off all of that monster's limbs and face. Awesome! We win!
We're coming for you next, green suezo! For vengeance! Pump your fist with me, Colt!
You got it!
The suezo's leafy tonguings almost took down our Ducken hero
But it also unlocked a hidden power from deep within him. Like a fragile, duck-shaped Hulk. Will Whatthef's opponent be able to stand up against his new might?
Yes. Yes he was.
But that's just one loss. We can still recover!
You can do it, Ducken! I believe in you!
Resume fist pumping!
We totally killed that rabbit! Woo!
Our deciding match was against Oakleyman. It looks like he managed to make a comeback. Crowds were wearing new Oakleyman 2.0 shirts and a squad of fat shirtless guys painted "OAKLEYMAN" on their stomachs. I could have lived the rest of my life quite happily without seeing such a thing.
The bell rang. The fat dancers sat down, and everyone watched with a hush. Whatthef tripped and landed on his face, hurting himself in the process. As he got back up, Oakleyman had a big gooey fist waiting for him.
And with a single punch, Oakleyman broke my Ducken in little pieces. Luckily, Colt and I bought a few cases of fun glue, so he should still be fine.
Ducken wasn't phased by the loss. Once he pulled himself together, he joined Oakleyman in its victory dance, matching it move for move. It was cute and frightening at the same time. Oakleyman's fans didn't care, though. They were too busy shotgunning beer in the name of Oakleyman.
We lost. A lot. But this is just a minor setback. Losing to more monsters than Colt can count doesn't mean you suck, Ducken. We'll just have to try harder next time.
See? You learned something. Tell Ducken what he learned, Colt.
We'll get them next time. We will get them or we will bomb that arena to the stone age.
You mean that figuratively, right?
Sure... Sure I do. I didn't mean a quacky jihad on IMA. That would be silly. Ha ha. Yes.
I have some- uh, some packages to check on. While I do that, you guys help me figure out what we can do to make Ducken better.