Part 53: Duck is Fat
Fat Ducken [Sep 28th, 1013|10:10 pm]
[Current Mood| invincible]
[Current Music|Bryan Adams - Taking Sexy Back]
Where are we sending Whatthef?
To Papas! We will make him the fastest duck alive!
I think he already is.
And so here we are, yet again, babysitting one of your monsters. The opening course challenges your monster to run uphill against an icy slope.
Though I'm not sure how he managed it with webbed feet, your Ducken passed the first course successfully.
The next course forces your monster to avoid falling icicles. I must say, Papas is the area I am least fond of, due to the courses having your monster do tasks that involve the stat he is building up. In this case, speed. Also because there are not nearly enough animals to attack.
At first, it appeared as though your monster was shattered by a stalactite.
However, that obstacle was overcome. Bully for your hideous Ducken. Bully.
Task the third, is to simply not be swallowed up by the Earth as she opens her icy, cavernous womb for all the world to see.
I had high hopes for this course.
Those hopes were dashed by your monster's stubborn refusal to die.
Finally, the ultimate trial. Your monster must defeat not one, but two polar bears. And this time, we frisked it for any weapons.
It looked as though your Ducken would be a filling snack for our bears.
But, somehow, it managed to befriend the animals. They shared a bottle of cola. I am ever so cross right now.
I may also add that your Ducken appears to be quite plump. Some more exercise might be in order. At this time, I should mention that we have a lovely aerobics course that involves stair climbing and a handful of irritated wolverines.
I, um, I think I'll pass on the fitness course. Besides, we got a new skill for Ducken, so I'm good there. We'll just help Ducken lose weight ourselves. Right, Colt?
What's this "we" business?
Well, I didn't want to say anything, but you're getting a little chunky there.
HEY! I- I eat salads.
Just go jogging with Ducken already, tubby.
I... I made... I made it.
You made it 10 feet before dropping like a sack of pudding. Which is what your thighs look like, by the way.
Two words: Proper. Diet. You and Ducken will feast on fish and seaweed. It's good for ya.
Also, you need more motivation. So you will be running away from very large boulders.
That was great, Ducken! How did you do, Colt? ...Colt?
...hurts... hurts so much...
Yeah, yeah. Go take a shower. I need to plan for Ducken's return to the ring. We're going to make a champ out of him if it kills me.
With that in mind, dear internet, decide which tournament Ducken will enter: C or B Cup.