Part 58: Ducken's Last Stand
Ducken the Conquerer [Nov 27th, 1014|10:32 pm]
[Current Mood| proud and elated]
[Current Music|Queens of the Stoneage - We Are The Champions]
We just got back from the S Cup! I may be a little overexcited, so forgive me if I gush. We rocked it, and here are some highlights of just how much we rocked the place.
Are you ready to take on the final cup, Ducken?
He's ready! Let's go!
Our first opponent was an evil slime. How evil? To start the match he ate ten babies. Ten. I mean, one I could forgive as an accident, but ten? That's clearly evil.
A single punch from its demonic fist would level Ducken into plastic ducky powder.
However, that would only happen to something far slower than my Ducken. Ducken floats like a butterfly and stings like a moth.
A moth that also happens to be on fire.
Quite a good start, I'd say. But we're only getting warmed up!
Our next foe could transform into a giant dragon. You just have to turn his arms 85 degrees to the left, flip his head around, and sort of spread his legs out in a vague, wing-like shape.
Ducken can transform too, you know...
He transforms into a neutron bomb.
We broke a tab on the robot, making it impossible to get him to balance when standing up.
His owner ran out of time trying to make the re-glued tab dry faster, giving us yet another victory. And you can't spell victory without Ducken.
...But then, the robot's owner remembered it could transform, and twisted it around until it was in Dragon Form.
Out of sheer luck, another vital tab snapped off during the transformation. There was nothing keeping the dragon head in place.
And with that, the owner had no choice but to forfeit to Team Ducken.
Our final match was against... An evil clown with a giant axe. Before the fight began, it pointed at me and giggled, dragging its finger across its neck. I don't think I'm going to sleep any time soon.
I'll admit, my faith wavered during this match. Ducken was fighting the avatar of death and all that's wrong with the world.
Before Ducken could even think, the clown made some sort of move that drained the very soul out of Ducken. He was only barely clinging to a strand of life.
That's when things got Real.
Undaunted, Ducken launched a vicious counter-attack, bombing the hell out of that clown.
Oh my god, we might win this.
Of course we'll win this! It's Ducken! KILL HIM, DUCKEN!
Shocked by the assault, the clown couldn't defend himself from Ducken's relentless pecking.
And then, with one second left to go...
Ducken snatched victory like a piece of seaweed.
We. Fucking. Rock.
That's right, I said a bad word.
But who cares! We won! Colt's baking a victory cake for Ducken, and I'm going to get smashed off zima. We'll plan for the next phase tomorrow. Later, guys!
Why?! [Nov 28th, 1014|6:47 am]
[Current Mood| sad]
I don't know what to say now. I think all I can do is blog about it, to maybe collect my thoughts.
I spent the night with Ducken, celebrating our victory.
I woke up to him making a very faint quack sound. He didn't look well... and then...
He collapsed. I tried to put him back together, but he didn't respond.
Ducken... Ducken died.
Colt didn't quite understand it at first. I don't think she's ever had to deal with something like this. I wish we still didn't. We held a funeral for Ducken near the woods. I made a little tribute site to him. Colt wanted me to make a shrine, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
I'm not really sure what we're going to do now. I don't even want to think about raising another monster. We'll worry about that later.
RIP Ducken. You're with the stars now.