Part 31: Holly at the Spring B Cup
Hello! My name is Holly. I would tell you my last name, but I do not want people stalking me on Facebook. I am here to tell you about what happened at the Spring B Cup tournament, because Norman was... engaged in other activities.
SPRING BREAK WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I thought I hid your cocaine stash.
TAKE OFF YER TOP! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Please God, let him overdose. Grant me this one small respite.
HEY YOU! THE ANIME STANDING THERE IN THE RING! TAKE OFF YER TOP!
Norman proceeded to gag on his vomit and pass under under the bleachers. I know it is not right of me, but I kind of wished he would swallow his tongue.
Yuno was supposed to be incredibly fast. You know those straws of flavored sugar they sell? They are named pixie sticks after this girl, because of how hyper she is.
Unfortunately for her, she also had attention deficit disorder. She was so engrossed with a fan's shiny necklace that Megatron was able to crush her with a cyclone attack.
The next opponent was a creature born from an oversized lava lamp from a dance club in the city. Most of his attacks involve pelvic thrusts, which is pretty impressive when you notice that he does not have a pelvis.
Suran had a lot of skill and defense. Megatron will have to do his best to be able to penetrate it, but I am not worried. He was trained by some of the best.
WORK THAT LAVA YOU SEXY LITTLE F...FFFFFUCK I'M HIGH!
Suran, being made out of liquid, was able to slip past Megatron's cyclone with relative ease. So much for a one-hit KO.
Most of the match was a simple game of tit for tat. Suran would graze Megatron with a swipe, while Megatron would land a finger flick every so often.
But then, Suran transformed into a tank and fired on Megatron point blank. In a single, graceful move, Megatron grabbed the cannon shell and volleyed it right back into his opponent.
Suran was so upset about the attack, that his body formed the word "Fury!". Megatron tore out the R, Y and exclamation mark, gaining the win and making a very rude comment in the process.
The final match was against a very fat rabbit. I am sure that if Norman was not in a drug-fueled fugue, he would make some sort of joke about Danny DeVito or some other reference to popular culture. My parents forbade me from watching television or reading anything that wasn't about monster breeding, so I never have any idea what he is talking about.
I suppose I could start now, but the thought had never occurred to me. My life was so different before I started working for Norman. I suppose I should thank him for that, if it were not for all the abuse. Wait, is that right? How can a fat bunny be almost as strong Megatron? That has to be an error.
I suppose it was indeed an error, because the rabbit whose name I am ashamed to forget was soundly beaten by Megatron's cyclone within a few seconds.
Norman had regained consciousness midway through the fight. After Megatron had won, he leapt the stands, grabbed the hare, and attempted to wear his body as a suit. Not just his fur, but his whole body. I suppose he thought it was a costume instead of a then-living creature. I had to lay out a lot of newspaper on the back of the car before I would allow Norman to sit down. It is a good thing I made him buy that fire hose for monster cleaning. I do not think anything else could get that much blood off of him.
But we still won! We now have a sizable sum of cash, and Megatron's fame keeps getting higher! We should be able to try for A rank in no time!
And now we are left with deciding what kind of tasks to set Megatron to. I would simply choose the activities myself, but then Norman would beat me when he finds out. So internet, what should I have Megatron do?