Part 38: Raisin' Skill and killin' gorill...a.
The fuck? Why are you bowing to HER!? I'M the one who got S-Rank, not her!
So what can I do for you, Miss Holly?
Oh you son of a bitch. You just made The List.
Do you think you could build up Megatron's skill for a while? He needs it to be really really high.
Sure thing, Holly! Anything else I can do for you?
No thanks, I think we need to get home before Norman pops a blood vessel.
Crowds flocked to watch as Megatron began his meditation. This would be his longest session to date. There was a hushed excitement over the fields as more and more people made the pilgrimage to watch Megatron meditate.
It wasn't just people who came to sit before Megatron. Animals and other monsters joined the crowds. Predators and prey sat together to bask in the Stone Buddha's invisible glow.
At the end of his third month of meditation, Megatron rose. He had achieved Nirvana, and with it he learned a new skill. It would have been a moment of sheer joy, but someone noticed Megatron had headphones on. He was listening to an ipod the whole time! An extra fee has been added to your bill for the cleanup required after the ensuing riot Megatron's false ascension caused.
Nirvana, shmervana. Megatron knows how to fling stick men now.
Why!? Why do you do that every time?! He never even delivers anything worthwhile! Just junk mail for the center or Super Mario's Super Store.
It's a letter for you.
...First time for everything.
Holy crap I have fangirls.
You know she's probably eight years old, right?
Eh. People already think I'm a pedophile for having you hang around me.
I think I'm going to go to the store so I can stop having those disturbing mental images.
Eh! Holly! I heard you guys got to R-5! That'sa pretty special.
Taffy! Taffy! Give me all the taffy you can!
Eeeee! I think I'm going to call you Taffytron from now on!
We are going to kill a gorilla now.
You heard me. Get the keys.
There's some other monsters here, too, but they've been beaten before and don't have anything interesting to their matches at all. The last guy, though...
Holly, you're scaring me.
Come on, Taffytron! Don't stop until you've ripped out his lazy entrails!
The ape can't even be bothered to stand up for the match. I wish it could be considered an instant KO, but the bugger sat up just before the fight began.
And his stats are pretty freaky, considering this is a B rank match.
RIP HIS ARMS OFF, TAFFYTRON!
Megatron curbstomped the ape. Minus the curb. It was like that one scene from American History X, but a lot more cartoony. And with monkey guts.
That's it? What happened to your little blood frenzy?
I think I might be hypoglycemic.
Heh heh. Who knew his fame would dip that much from fighting a lower rank?
You are so lucky I'm out of taffy right now.
But to make up for it, there's an official S Rank tournament this week. Do you think Megatron could win it?
Hmm... I don't know. I feel like I'd be missing a lot if I try plowing through S Rank right now. But I will leave the choice up to goons, as they have never led me wrong. Except when they have.